This one is so long it's broken into parts. Inspired by Get Smart and Chuck, it features the competing spy agencies DORHq (pronounced dork), for Domestic Operations and Reconnaissance Headquarters, SESI (pronounced sissy), for Secret Evil Spies Incorporated, and CHUMPS, for Chinese Underground Mobile Precinct of Spies. There's even a short webseries Tam's World featuring some of the characters (see this blog for more information or this youtube channel).
This is a continuation of part 7.
Tam and Dmitrii sit at a small table near the window of the Last Drop Coffee Shop sharing a coffee and muffin.
“The good news is that I’ve found where my stolen laptop is stored. I had to promise Eyo a month of free cappuccino every morning.”
“I could have told you that. It’s at the CHUMPS headquarters. I’m tracking its GPS chip,” Tam says.
“Now you tell me? But never mind that. The point is I can’t get in there. It’s guarded like Fort Knox."
"Talk to you tomorrow. I have an idea," Tam says with a sly smile. She leaves thinking of Mattie, her identical twin sister.
In Mattie’s two-story house, the shag-carpeted hallway leads to a bedroom. Tip-toeing, Mattie eyes Tam quietly opening a drawer in her bedroom at the end of the hall. Mattie wears a red necklace, while Tam’s necklace is white. Mattie steps silently into the bedroom. It’s a messy bedroom, with dirty clothes and spy gear scattered around. Tam holds Mattie’s CHUMPS I.D. badge and a CHUMPS cap. She’s poking through a draw with a silencer-equipped pistol.
“I always love seeing my sister, especially when she’s got a P228.”
Tam, startled, turns and points the gun at Mattie. A box of tampons covers the barrel. Tam shakes it off and tampons fly all over.
“How did you get in?” Mattie asks.
“Your basement door’s open,” Tam says.
“That door wasn’t open.”
“It is now.”
“Who said you could borrow my I.D. badge and cap?”
With a sarcastic smirk, Tam waves her gun in Mattie’s face. “This does.”
“You won’t shoot.”
PFFT! A shot goes into the floor between Mattie's legs.
“Tam, you shot my floor!”
“It’s shag carpet. It’ll comb over.”
“It won’t comb over! I’m telling Dad.”
“Then I’ll tell him you’re working for the CHUMPS. Put on these handcuffs.” Tam tosses Mattie a pair of handcuffs.
“Is this because I borrowed your dress to the prom? That was years ago. Are you still mad about that?”
“Stay away from Dmitrii,” Tam says.
“Never heard of him.”
“You stole his laptop.”
Mattie starts to fluff her pillows. “You think you’re so smart.”
“While you were stealing my boyfriends, I was studying,” Tam says.
“That’s a lot of studying,” Mattie says.
Lan-Po enters a concrete and glass red building. In the lobby, Lan-Po looks at the large steel block letters spelling out “CHUMPS” and straightens his tie proudly. Lan-Po is beaming ear-to-ear as he enters No-Wei’s office. Lan-Po pulls a form out of his pocket and hands it to No-Wei.
“You correctly filled out all the forms, even if they are back-dated. Still I’m proud of you.”
“Thank you, sir. We make a great team.” Lan-Po smiles proudly.
No-Wei hands Lan-Po the stolen SESI laptop. “We’re not a team. Now take this laptop to the storage room.”
Lan-Po slumps out with the laptop. He takes it to the CHUMPS Tech Lab. As he leaves, he doesn’t notice Tam (disguised as Mattie), wearing a backpack, a white necklace and a red CHUMPS cap. She slip into the Lab unseen. Lan-Po goes to the men’s room down the hall.
The CHUMPS break room has a microwave, fridge, coffeemaker and tables and chairs. It’s a neat, economical space.
Tam as Mattie, leaves steps into the room, looks around, then surreptitiously peels rubber fingerprint skins off her fingers and throws them away. She has a backpack, partially unzipped.
Lan-Po appears behind her, holding a muffin. “Excuse me Agent Mattie. We met last week at the new agent orientation.”
“Ahh, yes of course. Last week.” Flustered, Tam as Mattie sets her backpack down at a nearby table. Inside, unseen by Lan-Po, is the SESI laptop. Tam as Mattie zips up the backpack.
“May I ask you a question?” Lan-Po asks.
“Of course you can. What can I do for you?” Tam as Mattie says. She sips a coffee.
“It’s a big request.”
“You’re a junior agent. I’m a senior agent. Whatever I can do to help you, I’m going to do. Name it.”
“Will you be my mentor?” Lan-Po pleads.
Tam as Mattie does a spit take and coughs. “Excuse me? I didn’t quite catch that.”
“Mentor. Will you please be my mentor? I was assigned Agent No-Wei –”
“Agent Hu?!”
“Not Hu, No-Wei.”
“Oh, Agent No-Wei! I thought you said Hu!”
“Who’s Agent Hu?”
“Never mind Hu. Are you insane? Agent No-Wei’s really your mentor? Do you think I want to mess with Agent No-Wei? Do you know what happened to the last person who crossed Agent No-Wei?”
“No, what?”
“Hu knows.” Tam as Mattie grabs her backpack and leaves.
“I had to ask,” Lan-Po says.
This is continued here: part 9.
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