This one is so long it's broken into parts. Inspired by Get Smart and Chuck, it features the competing spy agencies DORHq (pronounced dork), for Domestic Operations and Reconnaissance Headquarters, SESI (pronounced sissy), for Secret Evil Spies Incorporated, and CHUMPS, for Chinese Underground Mobile Precinct of Spies. There's even a short webseries Tam's World featuring some of the characters (see this blog for more information or this youtube channel).
A row of shops line a busy city street. On one shop, painted on the large windows on either side of the front door is
While it seems like a small town out in the country, in fact, it's snuggled in the middle of Baltimore, in the Hamilton neighborhood.
A young couple can be seen sitting at a table inside. Tam Taylor and Dmitrii are our young 20-something couple, sipping coffee and sharing a muffin. Tam wears a white
necklace. A backpack sits at Dmitrii's feet, zipped up. They huddle close together to make sure they aren't overheard.
"Now you tell me your real name is Dmitrii?" Tam asks.
"Chance was just a cover," Dmitrii says, still stinging from being caught in a lie.
"I suppose our relationship was also just a cover?"
"No, Tam, never. I really do love you."
"This is crazy. We'll be arrested if we're ever caught talking to each other."
"Actually, I'd be shot. Instantly," Dmitrii says, with a finger gun to his head.
"You'd be dead. I'd probably be demoted. Who wants that? Do you want me to be demoted?"
"No, but we won't get caught if we just stay aware of our surroundings at all times. Use the spycraft we're trained for."
"In every training session, it's ingrained in us to hate each other. After your lies, I'm feeling it."
"Ahhmm," says Lan-Po, in a waiter's outfit. Ignored by Tam and Dmitrii, he's been overhearing them the whole time. He holds two glasses of water on a tray.
"I know we can make it work. Communication is the key."
Cough! "Ahhmm. Excuse me. Is there anything else I can get you?"
"No, thank you," Tam says.
Crash! Lan-Po drops the glasses of water on the floor. "I'm so sorry. I'll clean that up right away." Lan-Po bends down to clean up the mess.
Tam and Dmitrii ignore him and return to their conversation. "I don't want you going out with Lincoln," Dmitrii says.
"At least Linc doesn't trick me with cover names."
"Now, he's Linc to you? Well, I'm a much better spy. He probably doesn't even know what a cover name is."
Lan-Po gets up with broken glass and a wet rag on a tray, hiding a laptop underneath. Lan-Po leaves their table, slips behind the counter and exits though a swinging door.
Now Dmitrii's backpack is unzipped.
Outside, above the Last Drop's back door is a small rusted metal sign saying "Last Drop Coffee Shop." The door blasts opens and Lan-Po, grinning ear-to-ear, exits running with a laptop under one arm, as if it was a football. The laptop has a small SESI sticker on the cover. Lan-Po tears off his ``Last Drop'' apron, throws it on the ground, and jumps into a car.
The car is driven by Tam's identical twin, Mattie Taylor, wearing a CHUMPS baseball cap. She's a bit of an evil sister and she smiles smugly as she drives off with Lan-Po and the stolen laptop in the passenger seat.
Inside, Tam and Dmitrii are oblivious to the ruse. They continue bickering as young lovers do.
"Dmitrii, relationships are like bank accounts. You're so overdrawn that it will take years to pay down your debt. Lincoln has plenty in his savings account."
"When I say communication is key, what I really mean is you're supposed to let me win an argument sometimes."
"If we are going to be together, you have two options. Quit SESI or become a double agent."
"Give me a moment ... If I quit, I'll be shot. If I'm caught spying on SESI then I'll be tortured and then shot."
"You lied to me and broke the relationship we had. Don't you want to fix it, Dmitrii? Darling?" Tam beams an irresistibly charming smile.
"When you put it that way, DORHq Double Agent Dmitrii darling has a nice ring to it."
"Kiss me, double Agent Dmitrii darling."
"I love how you delegate."
They kiss.
"SESI hackers have developed source code for the most destructive computer virus ever known, and I have it on my laptop. It's called the DoomsDay Worm."
"Why is that on your laptop? Wait, you own a computer? Since when?"
"I'm not a complete idiot when it comes to computers. ... Well, okay maybe I am, but Mr Blue just made me in charge of laptop security."
"That information just is ... mind-boggling on so many levels."
"I know, right? Isn't it worth another kiss?" Dmitrii asks.
Tam grabs Dmitrii and kisses him. "Give me your laptop. If DORHq programmers get a copy, we can counter-act it with an anti-virus. I might be able to save the internet from total destruction," Tam says.
"It's right here. Right ... huh?" Dmitri reaches inside his backpack.
"What's wrong?" Tam asks.
"It's gone. My laptop's gone. Where's the waiter? It must've been the waiter."
``That's too bad. I was about to zero out that debt of yours,'' Tam says.
Tam and Dmitrii run out the back door, stopping under the rusty "Last Drop Coffee Shop" sign. They look around.
Tam sees Lan-Po's "Last Drop Coffee Shop" apron on the ground. She snatches it up. "He's gone. Dmitrii, I've got to go talk to Uncle Freeman about this. Maybe he has a plan. But first listen to me carefully, because it's very important."
"Yes, tell me," Dmitrii says.
Tam gives Dmitrii the apron. "When you go back in to pay the bill, do not leave a tip."
This is continued here: part 2.
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