Police have cordoned off a portion of the sideway outside the Charles Street Theater. Emergency response vehicles with flashing lights crowd the street. Police and an EMT crew work on something unseen on the sidewalk. Brenda Bragg, a confident looking TV news reporter stands across the street from the Charles Street Theater. She’s in makeup, smiling at the camera, lit by two beauty dishes in a blue and white knit wardrobe.
"Just hours ago, Bob Blowhard, a Baltimore city bassoon player, was found brutally murdered early this morning, strangled with a violin bow. Called the Balding Bassonist by his fans, he performed frequently in local bars and bistros. The police are still gathering clues. More on this story at 11. This is Brenda Bragg, with KRAP News.”
A large TV mounted on the wall shows Brenda Bragg signing off. None of the patrons of the Yummy Yellow Tavern watch TV, except Yasmine, a waitress in a yellow top and shorts, who only pretends not to be watching.
A bumper sticker on an SUV parked on a street in Fells Point says “Honk if you like The Jumping Jazz Flash Quartet.” There are four decals: one of a guitar, one of a trumpet, one of a violin, and one of a flute. Two young attractive couples, Ryan and Mary, Fred and Wilma, walk away from the SUV towards the tavern.
Once inside, they are seated right away by the bored hostess, Zoe, dressed in a black dress. “Your server Yasmine will be right with you,” Zoe says, placing four menus on the table before she walks off.
Yasmine arrives at their table. “Welcome to the Yummy Yellow. Have you been here before?”
“No, we need time to look at the menu,” Mary says.
“No problem. Can I get you folks something to drink to start out?” Yasmine asks.
Mary starts out. “Hi. Just get us one beer, one code, one milk, and a bottle of Perrier.”
“Be right back with those,” Yasmine says and heads off to the kitchen.
“Wilma, how’s grading those exams going?” Ryan asks.
“I have a few stacks to go. I’ll grade them after practice. Are you offering to help grade?” she says. Ryan laughs.
“I’d rather teach than be a doctor,” Fred says. "Aren't you afraid one of them will make you sick?"
“That’s why I drink beer,” Ryan says. “To help be forget the stethoscopes.” Everyone laughs.
“I don’t like beer,” Wilma says.
“Do you want me to teach you the trumpet?” Mary asks.
"Live on the wild side," Wilma teases in a sing-song voice.
“No, thank you,” says Fred.
“Wilma, how about you?” Mary asks.
“No, I’m good,” Wilma says.
Yasmine brings the drinks. “Thank you,” Fred says. Yasmine leaves, but stays within earshot.
“You can't drink milk can you Mary?” Wilma asks.
“No, allergies. Neither can our violinist” Mary says, looking at someone in particular. Looking at someone else, she adds, “Our photographer loves milk though.” That elicits a few chuckles in the group.
“Sherlock Holmes couldn’t have said it better,” Ryan says.
“Tell me Sherlock, why is it that every trumpet player I know likes coke best?” Wilma asks.
“Must be a weird coincidence. For example, why is it that every guitarist I know sticks to water? Just another strange statistic,” says Fred.
“Why is it that every zoologist I know doesn’t drink beer, can’t play the flute or play the guitar?” Ryan asks.
“You must not know many zoologists,” Wilma says.
“You better not,” Mary teases. Mary look around. Yasmine is wiping down a nearby table, pretending to ignore them. “Tell me Watson, why is it that every violinist I know sticks to beer, morning, noon, and night?” Mary jokes. Ryan laughs.
The large TV mounted on the wall shows Brenda Brag interrupting a local program. Zoe, still bored, and Yasmine watch.
“This is Brenda Brag, KRAP News, with an emergency update. Police now say that Bob Blowhard, the balding bassonist, was murdered by a member of the Jumping Jazz Flash Quartet. There is now a five thousand dollar award for information leading to the killer.”
Yasmine elbows Zoe awake. “Cha-ching,” Yasmine says. “Tell them to pay up.”
Zoe doesn’t believe her. “What?”
Yasmine says “The police will be here soon. Do it.”
“We’re a team. I’ll trust you on this.”
Zoe and Yasmine go over to the table of four.
“We were watching Brenda Brag. I'm going to have to insist you pay your bill now,” Zoe says.
“You don’t believe KRAP News do you?” Wilma asks, laughing at Zoe.
Yasmine says, “I do, and I know which of you killed the balding bassonist.”
A police car, lights flashing, is parked outside the Yummy Yellow on the curb.
Inside, Officer Octavia, wearing a Baltimore police uniform, talks to Yasmine. “You think you know who killed the bassoonist?” asks Officer Octavia. “Prove it.”
“One, the killer is a player in the Jumping Jazz Flash Quintet, and they are all seated at this table,” Yasmine says.
Officer Octavia looks at Frank, Mary, Fred, and Wilma. “Check.”
“Two, the killer plays the violin,” Yasmine says.
“Check.” Officer Octavia faces the table of musicians. “Which of you plays the violin?”
“I do,” they all say simultaneously.
“Not helpful,” says Zoe.
“Thank you, Zoe. Three, she,” Yasmine points to Mary, “asked ‘why is it that every violinist I know sticks to beer, morning, noon, and night?’ She thought I couldn't overhear her.”
“The violinist drinks beer. Who got the beer?” Officer Octavia asks.
“Good question. What I do know if that the beer drinker is a doctor, that the doctor is male, and that he,” Yasmine points to Fred, “said that he’s not a doctor.”
Officer Octavia points to Ryan. “That means you are under arrest.”
“You’re a female Sherlock Holmes,” Zoe says.
Yasmine smiles proudly. "Thanks,” Yasmine says.
“Will you split the award with me?” Zoe asks.
Yasmine nods, “Sure. We're a team, right?.”
Zoe smiles for the first time.
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