Todd’s a long-haired snotty 16-year-old stoner who gets no respect from his stubborn tough-as-nails 3-star military father, BK. With a nose like a buzzard and a ram-rod straight backbone, BK, or Branford Klauzowitz to people who aren’t his friends, which is practically everyone, is focused 24/7 on his career. With a father and grandfather in the military, BK’s practically bred for it. He’s not just disciplined but so honest he’s relied on with the Pentagon’s top cyber-secrets. The only problem BK has is that while he may be stubborn, Todd’s even more so. Whatever gene or trait or mind- set BK’s developed to get where he is, Todd’s got it in spades. By the way, don’t remind BK that Todd likes to escape his unhappy adolescent life by reading PG Wodehouse. BK has other priorities and can’t be bothered reading British satires. He’s got enemies to fight and, in the little spare time he has, he’s got serious sports like baseball to watch. There’s no time for PGW nonsense. It’s a lonely life for Todd, and no surprise that he buries his nose in books.
To make a man of him, BK forces Todd go on camping trips, where he makes him learn ciphers and weapons and survival strategies (oh, my!). Todd just wants it to be over so he can get back to flexting (flirt texting) and playing video games and talking to girls (and, of course, reading PGW). Let’s just say they have a very testy relationship. But Todd’s friends envy him and wish they had such a cool Dad. Behind their back, BK calls all of Todd’s video-game playing friends “losers”. (“Why can’t they just join the JROTC or something?”) Face-to-face, Todd just wants to be left alone by BK but on the inside he wants his Dad’s acceptance and respect. It’s a rough assignment. Kids don’t get to choose their billet.
BK is way up there in the military pecking order of things and stationed in the White House. He’s in charge of network passwords and security schedules and travel arrangements for the President’s important upcoming peace conference. To make matters worst (for Todd), he insists Todd goes to work with him once in awhile. You know, to remind Todd what hot shit he is, as well as to keep Todd from playing video games with his loser buddies. Todd brings along PGW in paperback to keep him company.
The international arena itself is politically very unstable, North Korea playing no small part in this, a mirror of the tense relationship between BK and son. Wanna uess what happens now? Dad disappears. Not good news for the WH. Peace conference is threatened. Presidents travel schedule is changed. The DoD, DHS, FBI are on high alert to search for BK. Find. Him. Now. He’s got those damn passwords.
But it gets worst before it gets better. What’s next? Todd disappears, too. Not good news for Mom, who understandably goes fucking ape shit.
Bad guys from a mysterious rogue nation (rhyming with Forth Garia) wants BK’s damn DoD passwords. They’ve been watching him. They know he’s got them. And they’re using Todd as leverage. BK has withstood torture for days but all he repeats is his name, rank, and serial number. Hell, they’ve got all that, plus his credit rating and social security number – bought from the Chinese group that hacked OPM years ago. Now they have his son. They threaten to force BK to watch while they cut off Todd’s fingers, one at a time, if he doesn’t spill those passwords. BK is silent. They start cutting. Todd screams. Still nothing from BK. Then, shocker, Todd starts rattling off the first several characters of one of the passwords. It seems Todd is more observant than everyone thought when he's with his Dad at work.
BK orders Todd to stop, which he does. Todd and BK argue. BK tries to rationalize with Todd: “It’s only a finger.” Todd counters back: “My finger!” The bad guys stop cutting. They think this is pretty funny. For fun, they now go back to BK and threaten to cut off his fingers. Todd and BK are silent. As they cutting begins and BK screams in pain, Todd breaks down and gives the rest of the password. BK’s finger is spared. BK asks “Why son, why?” “It was only a password,” Todd says.
The bad guys separate BK and Todd into adjoining rooms in their basement hideout. The bad guys get to work hacking into the DoD network. Back in the WH, we see the DoD has people reprogramming on the computer network. They’ve were told by Todd, just before he was kidnapped, that he knows BK’s passwords, and they have already secured the rest of the network, but left passwords valid. The difference is that BK’s passwords open up a honeypot network. There’s more than one way to kill a pesky fly.
Todd and BK communicate using a “Tap Code” that BK taught Todd during one of those dreaded camping trips. Using it, they figure out how to short-circuit the electrical wiring, causing the fuse box to blow. In the dark, chaos and confusion, BK and Todd escape to the roof. They’ve been in a warehouse in east Baltimore.
Todd helps Dad down the rusty fire escape, who is in bad shape from his torture. They make it to a gas station where they tell FBI and DoD how to find the bad guys’ hideout. Todd gets hugged by crying hysterical mom. BK stays in hospital at Bethesda for a few days.
Long story short, peace conference goes on without interruption. The bad guys are arrested. In a big fancy ceremony, BK gets a Purple Heart. The world’s in a better place.
After recovering in a hospital, Todd asks Dad to go on another camping trip. Surprised, BK agrees. This time, Todd brings a copy of Wodehouse’s Blandings Castle with him. He’ll force good old Dad to read it. While BK got a Purple Heart, Todd’s got a heart of gold. Maybe old dogs can learn new tricks after all?
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