2020-08-14

Zander and Zoe get a "C" (short story 24)

 Over a year ago, as an exercise, I started writing one short story a week. This was something Harlan Ellison (I think) suggested to one of his fans, his reasoning being "You can't write 52 bad short stories in a row." I'm not sure about that, but here's one of those stories.


*

One fine fall day at Pinewood University, mad Professor Mu hands out his midterm test to his class. One question is

Kappa the kitty cries more loudly the higher she climbs in her favorite tree. Her volume changes at a rate of f (h) = h + hdecibels per meter, where h is Kappa’s height above ground measured in meters. Find the integral of f(h) from h=1 to h=5 and explain what it represents in the context of this problem. 

Another question is

Adam the Ant stands at the origin. He begins walking 1 unit in the +x-direction and then turns 45counterclockwise counterclockwise and walks 1/2 units in that direction. Adam Ant then turns another 45counterclockwise and walks 1/3 units in that direction. The ant keeps doing this endlessly. How far is the ant’s final position from its initial position?

He hands out one test to each of his 23 students, included the worst of them, Zander and Zoe. Zander has a scratches and insect bites on his face and neck. Zoe has cat scratches on her arms and insect bites on her face and neck. What are those from?

*

The previous week, Zander and Zoe separately roamed through the stacks in one of the upper floors of the school library. Each wears a book-bag slung over their shoulder, and neither has yet earned the scratches they wore to the midterm. Zander listens to music through earbuds attached to his cell-phone. Lots of students are studying in small cubicals, but a few cubicals, full of books, have been abandoned. Presumably the student studying there went to the bathroom or to go get a coffee from the kiosk on the first floor. Zander and Zoe make a round and meet by the stairs.

“There’s one near the zoology section,” Zoe says. “Looks like a calculus book. New.”

“I saw a chemistry textbook by the oversized books,” Zander says. “I’ll take the zoology desk.”

“I’ll take the oversized,” Zoe says.

The next morning, they go to the textbook store and trade in the chemistry, calculus, and several other textbooks for cash. 

They go straight to Yuri’s room in the international dorm. His door is open and his girlfriend Yancy is doing yoga. Zander knocks on the door frame.

“Que pasa?” Zoe asks.

“Buenos dias. Come in,” Yuri says.

Zander and Zoe enter, and shut the door behind them. “How’s molly?” Zander asks, using their codeword for MDMA.

Yancy smiles. “She just arrived from Barcelona,” Yuri says, as he pulls a baggie of pills from Yancy's purse. 

Minutes later and now high, Zander and Zoe walk through the nearby suburban neighborhood along a street lines with elm trees and brick single family homes. Soon they hear a “meow” and look up. A cat is stuck in the tree.

“Poor thing,” Zoe says.

“I gotta help it get down,” Zander says. Zander climbs the tree, grabs the cat, who scratches him in the face and neck. Zander yells and drops the cat.

Zoe thinks Zander is yelling at her to catch the falling cat. “Here kitty,” she says, arms raised to the falling animal. She catches the cat, who scratches her arms. “Ahhhh! Dammit, cat!”

The cat runs off. Zander loses his footing and falls, out of the tree. THUD! He lands on the grass with a groan. 

Unfazed, Zander and Zoe wander over to a wooded park a few blocks away. Students often use it to hook up for sex at night, but this is the daytime.

“Feeling frisky?” Zander asks Zoe.

“Let’s go behind that big tree over there,” Zoe says as she heads deeper into the woods.

Behind the big tree, an elm by the looks of it, Zoe and Zander settle into some very passionate kissing.

Zoe scratches her legs, takes a breath, and returns to kissing. Zander scratches his back, then gets back to business. Soon, Zoe and Zander scratch a lot more. They both break away from each other at the same time.

“What the fuck?” Zander says, seeing a ton of ants swarming all over both or them.

“Ahhh!” Zoe yells. They both stand up and try to shake, slap and stamp all the ants. “Dammit, ants!” 

So that's how they got the scratches.

*

Back in the classroom taking the midterm, Zoe and Zander have no idea how to answer the test questions. They look at each other with panicked eyes. Zander shrugs and starts writing a but of bullshit. In response to the Kappa the Kitty question, he tells the story of the cat in the tree. Zoe shrugs back and, in response to the Adam Ant question, tells about the aborted sexcapade in the woods. She even scratches her legs, the memory being so vivid.

*

That night, after a marathon grading session in which he, of course, gave both Zoe and Zander an F, Professor Mu had a dream about his crazy mom and dad. 

We need a little background on his poor old parents. Mu would visit them every week in the mental institution they were confined to. Usually Dad thought he was god or George Washington or Humphrey Bogart. Usually Mom thought she was god or Florence Nightingale or Lauren Bacall. The days he visited when they both thought they were god were bad days. But one day he visited when his dad thought he was Humphrey Bogart and his mom thought she was Lauren Bacall. That was a good day. That's the background.

Professor Mu wakes up from his dream because, for some reason he can't fathom, Zoe and Zander reminded him of his mom and dad. He gets up, erases their Fs, replaces them by Cs, then goes back to sleep. He dreams of his mom and his dad - he's Humphrey Bogart and she's Lauren Bacall.




2020-08-11

Script breakdown and film review of "Happy Death Day"

Happy Death Day is directed by Christopher Landon, script written by Scott Lobdell and Christopher Landon (but only Lobell got credit for the writing). Originally titled "Half to Death", this is a 2017 American black comedy slasher film from Blumhouse Productions. 


 The protagonist Theresa ("Tree") is a sorority sister at Potsdam University (in the film, the name was changed). Engagingly portrayed by Jessica Rothe, we follow her on her daily adventures throughout. Based on her snarky interactions, she doesn't have any close emotional relationships at school. The story has similarities with Groundhog Day: the day start over again (on her birthday) as soon as Tree is murdered. Everything in her world is reset, except for her memories. The story also has similarities with the comedy slasher Scream, as Tree is generally stabbed to death with a big knife to some black comedy effect.

I'll describe the script (spoilers ahead) with some indication of how the film changed from the script.

Script synopsis:

In the opening scene, Tree wakes up in Carter's dorm room wearing his t-shirt. He's a guy she met for the first time at a drunken frat party the night before. He's already awake, busy puttering around his room, and treats her politely. (You are presuming he and she were both extremely drunk and she had sex without being sober enough to consent. This is an intentional set-up, to pay off on page 75. Wait for it.)
* She sees her dad has left a voicemail, gets dressed, leaves his room, forgetting her bracelet, and walks across the quad (a large area of paved walkways and open grassy spaces) to her sorority, Kappa Delta. She passes a number of people (e.g., Keith, who we will meet later in the script) in each of these walks across the quad.
* In the house foyer, Tree has a conversation with a housemate Danielle about a sorority meeting at noon. Danielle has a bossy/snarky personality but doesn't seem mad at Tree.
* Tree goes to her room and talks with her roommate Lori about the frat party that night. Lori tells her she was very drunk, vomited, and French-kissed Nick, Danielle's BF, right in front of her. Lori gives her a cupcake with a candle on it. 
* Tree cruelly tosses it in the trash ("too many carbs"), finds her textbook and heads off to class. She's having an affair with her "Science professor," Gregory Butler, who also works at the campus hospital. She has no emotional stakes in the hookup.
* After class she goes to the lunchtime sorority meeting. Carter drops off her bracelet. The sisters look down on him since he isn't a fraternity brother. Tree pretends not to know her. He's not insulted.
* After the meeting, Tree works in the stockroom in the campus bookstore. A co-worker Keith asks her out. She says no. Using visual cues, Keith is set up to be vaguely creepy.  (In the film, all the bookstore scenes were cut and Keith is a closeted gay.)
* Tree gets over to the hospital to see Butler. She gets a call from her dad but doesn't answer it.
* She runs into Lori by surprise, who is working a shift at the hospital for a friend. Lori knows of her affair with Butler. Tree says to her "none of your business".
* Tree meets up with Butler in his office. Butler puts his car keys in his desk drawer (remember this for later...). They kiss and talk. The door suddenly opens and they almost get caught by his wife Stephanie.
* At night, she gets ready for the frat party. Danielle enters. They talk about the party. There's a blackout. It's 9:23pm. Danielle leaves. On her desk, Tree notices a framed photograph of her between her proud mom and dad. She hides it in a drawer. (according to the script, it so she doesn't have to have feelings for them.)
There is a black envelope in her unopened mail, which she ignores.
* Tree heads off by herself to the frat party. She listens to a voicemail form her dad. He waited for an hour. Tree missed a birthday dinner with her dad but she doesn't make the frat party either. A mysterious character in a school mascot mask stabs her to death on her walk there.

We are on page 17. 

As in the opening scene, Tree wakes up in Carter's dorm room wearing his t-shirt. Again, he's awake and treats her politely. She thinks (according to the script) the previous events were all a nightmare, but doesn't share this with Carter.
* She sees her dad has left a voicemail, gets dressed, leaves his room, forgetting her bracelet. She remembers a few things, like Carter's name and where he keeps the Tylenol, but forgets her bracelet.
* She walks across the quad to her sorority, where she sees many things repeated. One difference is she talks to Keith along the way. She asks and tells her the date (Tuesday the 18th). Keith was there the first time she walked thru the quad but she ignored him.
* In the house foyer, Tree has basically the same conversation with Danielle, but Tree (according to the script) has a sense of deja vu.
* Tree goes to her room and talks with her roommate Lori about the frat party that night. This time, Tree tells Lori what happened. Lori gives her a cupcake with a candle on it. This time, Tree leaves it there but doesn't toss it in the trash.
* Tree joins the other sorority sisters at the lunchtime meeting. Carter shows up but forgets to give her the bracelet until she reminds him.
* After the meeting, Tree works in the campus bookstore. She spots a mask display and picks up a mask just like her killer wore. She's freaked, drops it, and runs out. (In the script) Keith picks up the mask and puts it on.
* Tree gets over to the hospital to see Butler. She gets a call from her dad but doesn't answer it, same as before.
* She runs into Lori, who knows of her affair with Butler. They have almost the same conversation, but this time Tree says to her "I can't talk now".
* Tree meets up with Butler in his office. Tree locks the door before they kiss and talk. (Tree is more resistant to kissing and just wants to talk.) Stephanie almost catches them again but this time the door is locked.
* At night, she gets ready for the frat party. On her desk, Tree notices a framed photograph of her between her proud mom and dad. She hides it in a drawer. Danielle enters. (BTW, the first time, Tree hid the photo after Danielle left.) They talk about the party. There's a blackout (again). Danielle leaves. 
* Tree heads off by herself to the frat party. She listens to a voicemail from her dad telling her Tree missed a birthday dinner with him. On the way there she's afraid of the part of the path where she was killed. She runs a different way and knocks on the frat house door. A masked individual opens the door and she punches him. It's Nick. Behind him is a "Happy Birthday" banner. She basically apologizes and the party gets going. Nick says Tree can "make it up to me later". Danielle is furious and storms off. Nick goes upstairs. Tree follows and finds him in a bedroom (presumably Nick's room). She enters and sees the mysterious character in the school mascot mask. She thinks he's Nick but then after he grabs her, she sees Nick dead in his closet. She screams but the music is too loud. They fight and Tree is killed by having her throat cut on window pane glass. (This scene was rewritten for the film. She is stabbed by a broken large glass bong.)

We are on page 36.

As in the opening scene, Tree wakes up in Carter's dorm room wearing his t-shirt. This time she says "This is a nightmare." Carter says she was the one who wanted to come here. She's starting to panic more.
* She sees her dad has left a voicemail, gets dressed, leaves his room, forgetting her bracelet and not getting any Tylenol. 
* She hurries across the quad to her sorority, ignoring Keith.
* In the house foyer, Tree ignores Danielle, even though she tries starting a conversation.
* Tree goes to her room and talks with her roommate Lori, confessing to her that she's lived this day twice. Lori doesn't believe her. Tree tells Lori she's about to give her a cupcake and there's a surprise birthday party at the frat house. Lori tells Tree she should take the day off, talk to someone.
* Tree talks to Mary, a counselor at the campus health center. It's comical because the counselor mis-interprets Tree's descriptions, but ultimately gets Tree nowhere. She leaves frustrated.
* That night, Tree stays locked in her room. Danielle tries to talk but Tree won't open the door. Sure enough, at 9:23pm there's a blackout. She blocks the door with something (the script isn't specific; in the film it's a dresser).
* Tree disassembles her night stand and nails the wood panels over her windows. 
* Tree finds the cupcake Lori left for her and is about to eat it when she decides to find the TV remote so she can change the channel away from MTV. She digs through stuff on her desk, not seeing the remote but finding the black envelope. It's a birthday card with the message "Hope it's your last one" scrawled inside.
* The TV turns itself off. She turns it back on. Now it's a rerun of The Twilight Zone. Then it turns itself off again.
* Tree hears a scraping noise from the closet. (According to the script, it dawns on Tree that she never checked the room before nailing the windows shut. How do we know this?) She grabs the hammer as a weapon and opens the closet. Nothing.
* She goes to the bathroom. Is someone hiding in the shower? Suddenly the TV blares loudly. She turns to the TV, seeing a boot sticking out from under the bed.
* She goes to the boot and sees it's not attached to anybody.
* The masked killer emerges from the shower and stabs her to death as she screams for help.

We are on page 49.

* Tree awakes in Carter's room screaming. She dresses in a panic, leaving quickly.
* The rush across the quad stresses out Tree so much that she has a panic attack and faints.
(In the film, Carter shows up in the quad and helps her, just as she's going to faint. They talk strategy in the cafeteria. This starts about on minute 40 of the film. In a sense, this scene is not in the script, but many scenes below were folded into it.)
* She wakes up in the hospital. The doctor wants her dad's phone number (the contact info she provided the university is old). He wants to know about her previous hospital stays. Tree tells him she's never been admitted to any hospital in her life. He says that's impossible, give the stab wounds she has on her body. Tree panics and tries to leave. He tells her they need to keep her there for observation.
They drug her, putting her to sleep.
* That night, she awakes as Butler shows up to visit her. She asks what day it is. He says Tuesday the 18th. He leaves to get her a coke from a machine down the hall.
* Tree escapes, rushing to Butler's office, stealing his car keys. She rushes for the stairwell. Butler spots her. Panicked, she runs from him, until she sees the killer has stabbed Butler to death.
* Tree races down the stairs to the parking garage. She screams for help but the garage is deserted, except for her and the killer.
* Tree gets to Butler's car before the killer and she escapes, speeding down the road out of the campus.
* She's pulled over by a policeman. She's happy to be jailed, because she knows she'll be save. She tells the police she's high and drunk. The policeman arrests her, cuffing her and is placing her in the back seat of his squad car when he and the back door are smashed into by a speeding car. 
The script now has two death scenes. In the first: The killer chases her into the woods but, in the dark, Tree runs off a 200 foot cliff and dies on the rocks
below. In the second death scene in the script, the one that is filmed, she's burned to death in the squad car after the cop is killed.

We are on page 65.

* The opening scene is not repeated. Instead, the first scene in Tree's new day is in her Kappa Delta sorority house. She writes down a list of suspects in a notepad. These include Keith, Danielle, Stephanie.
* Tree spies on Keith through his bedroom window. (He lives in a dorm on the first floor.) She sees him asleep in Sponge Bob Squarepants PJs. (In the film, he'd watching a gay romance movie.) She crosses his name off her list. 
* As she turns to leave, the masked killer stabs her to death.

We are on page 66. 

Series of shots:

* Tree wakes up in Carter's room (the film is different here...)
* Tree in her bedroom dying her hair pink and cutting huge chunks off.
* Tree acts crazy at the lunchtime sorority meeting, eating - horror! - french fries.
* At night, Tree spies on Butler and wife Stephanie leaving their house. She crosses Stephanie's name off her list. They get into their car and drive away. The masked killer springs out and tackles Tree into a fishpond. She drowns.

Still on page 66.

* Tree wakes up (the script doesn't say if she's with her old hair or the pink hair) in Carter's room, vomiting fishpond water.
* Tree walks across the quad completely naked. She sees Keith and winks.
* That afternoon, Tree and Danielle are walking together when a black card falls out of Danielle's bag. Tree attacks Danielle, the fight spilling into the road. A bus runs over them both, killing them.
* Insert: Tree crosses Danielle off her list. (Of course, this makes no sense, since Tree's dead...)

We are on page 67.

* At night, Tree wears Army fatigues and face paint. She hides behind a tree on the quad with a baseball bat. Tree swings at a mysterious figure, knocking them out. It turns out to be a sorority sister Becky, sneaking donuts into the Kappa Delta house.
* Tree drops the bat and rushes to help her.
* The masked killer picks up the bat and kills Tree.

We are on page 68.

* Tree wakes up in Carter's room yet again. This time it's completely
different for two reasons. (1) She tells Carter how she's feeling
and what she thinks is happening to her, (2) Carter accepts her "crazy"
theory and follows her across campus trying to rationally think
through the clues together.
* They reason it must be someone who knows it's her birthday.
* Tree tells Carter about Butler. Carter tells her they never had sex.
He slept on the couch. (In the film, they eat at a diner and there
they 

* They reach Tree's house. Carter says he got a credit card from his parents for emergencies. He'd use it to send her on a plane trip somewhere the killer wasn't then fly her back tomorrow. She's shocked at his generosity. (Skipped in film.)
* They head to the airport in Carter's VW. Tree tells Carter about her mom. Her birthday is on the same day as hers but she died of cancer three years earlier. (Skipped in film, but some of this dialogue was moved to another scene.)
* They are in a traffic jam and Tree sees on the side of the road the same cop that pulled her over earlier and was killed by the masked killer. She's afraid someone will die if she leaves and changes her mind. (This was skipped in the film.)
* They turn around and head back to campus. Tree tells Carter, "No more running." (Skipped in film. BTW, such a traffic jam scene could be way too expensive and complicated to shoot...)
* Tree runs into Danielle in the Kappa Delta foyer. They get into an argument. Tree agrees to leave the sorority. (Skipped in film.)
* Tree goes to her room and talks to Lori. She tells Tree Butler called and asked about her, since she didn't show for class. Lori leaves. (Skipped in film.)
* Tree is about to eat the cupcake Lori left for her when the power goes out. It's 9:23pm. When it comes back on she turns on the TV to watch the local news. (Yes, in this script the Local News runs at prime time.) It's a report of a murderer Joseph Tombs who's killed at least 6 women and been the subject of a nationwide manhunt for 5 months.
(In the film, Tree gets the information from the local news report in another scene, while eating with Carter.)
* Tree rushes to the hospital. She warns the nurses that Tombs will escape. Tree rushes to Tombs room, grabbing a fire axe on the way. She sees the police officer guarding Tombs enter his room. She runs down the hall and enters his room. The officer is dead. Tombs is holding the officer's gun. He shoots twice at Tree but the bullets ricochet off the axe blade, causing Tree to drop it.
* Tree bolts for the room and escapes the room. (Why didn't Tombs shoot her again?) Tree runs into a nurse who insists on looking into the room (where she heard gunshots, oh brother). Tombs of course shoots the nurse three times, dead. Tree runs. The killer chases her to a reception area, as he's about to shoot her, Carter tackles the killer from behind, causing the gun to be fired twice more before he drops it. Tree grabs the gun and shoots at the killer. Click.
* Tombs pulls out a hunting knife. (This too is a set-up and we learn later he got the knife from Lori. Stay tuned.) Tombs stabs and kills Carter to death with it.
* Tree turns and runs to the stairwell. These stairs only go up, to the bell tower. Tombs chases her up the stairs. Tree kicks him in the face, smashing part of his mask. (Before this, the script made no indication that a mask was worn. BTW, we learn later Tombs got the mask from Lori too)
* Tree makes it to the bell tower. By the time Tombs makes it up, he sees Tree on the railing, the bell rope tied around her neck. She tells Tombs, "See you tomorrow, asshole," and jumps to her death.

We are on page 87.

* She awakes in Carter's room again but this time she's go purpose, and she nice and thoughtful to everyone she meets.
* She shows up to her room and says nice things to Lori, promising to be a better roommate.
* She goes to class, but instead of going in, she asks Butler to speak with her outside in the hall. He does. She breaks up with him and tells he she's dropped the class.
* During the lunchtime sorority meeting, Tree is nice to everyone. Carter shows up. She asks him to take her out for dinner for her birthday.
* That afternoon, Tree's dad David waits for her alone. He's about to leave when Tree arrives. She confesses she wanted to avoid talking to him because it reminds him so much of her mom, who she misses terribly.
* In her room, she puts a long knife in her jeans and hides the handle with her shirt.
* She walks out of the hospital elevator on the same floor as Tombs. She goes up to the policeman guarding Tomb and tells him Tombs will escape tonight. The officer tells her to leave.
* She puts a knife to the officers throat and orders him to check on Tombs. He opens the door. Tombs looks asleep. Tree orders the officer to shoot Tombs in the head. Tombs opens his eyes. He's already escaped from his restraints. He stabs the officer with a knife, killing him, then grabs the mask he has at his bedside. Tree grabs the officer's gun and tries to shoot Tombs. "The safety's on little girl" Tombs says. He throws himself on Tree and starts to strangle her. She punches him in the nose with her palm, she squirms away but he simply throws her against the wall. Tombs gets his knife and smirks as he walks over to kill her. Tree smirks back. It's 9:23pm. Blackout. When the lights come back on, she's got the gun in her hand, safety off. She empties the clip into Tombs' chest.
* It's almost midnight. Carter and Tree are outside her house. They kiss goodnight.
* She goes to her room. Sees the cupcake from Lori, lights the candle on it. She blows it out and ... darkness.

This is page 101.

* Tree wakes up in Carter's room again.
* Tree rushes to her room, now realizing it was Lori all along. She would collude with Tombs most of the time but the last time Tree died it was because Lori poisoned the cupcake.
* They fight a brutal fight but Tree wins by kicking Lori out their 2nd story window.
(The film essentially ends here. There are two scene between Tree
and Carter showing they'll live happily ever after.)
* Tree took quite a beating and ends up in the hospital. Both Carter and her dad are there. The doctor orders her to complete rest, telling them to leave Tree alone.
* They all leave but Stephanie enters, in a nurses uniform. She poison's Tree's IV.

We are on page 110.

* Tree awakes in Carter's room. She realizes she's in love with him. They kiss. She says "What of I get stuck in this day forever?" Carter kisses her. She says "I guess I could live with that."


Review:

The script has one great thing going for it - concept. It's a wonderful story idea centered around a compelling character. The protagonist's problem is that she keeps dying every day, at the hands of some unknown killer, and her world is reset each morning.  The execution of the script is well-done. One draw-back is that its action lines contain a lot of un-filmable moments, such as describing what Tree is thinking. With one exception (described later), the script stays within the main story rule (i.e., after each death, everything is reset, except for Tree's memories).

The film has two great things going for it. A great concept for a story and a terrific, engaging actor (Jessica Rothe) playing the lead. The central theme seems to be to connect with family and friends on an emotional level, not to try to solve your emotional problems by yourself. The direction (Chistopher Landon) is also strong, having added some details and made some tweeks to the dialog which helped the story and also improved the character development. Some minor scenes were cut, others re-arranged or even inserted (such as a few extra scenes with the excellent Israel Broussard as Carter). Camera work (and lighting) is also top-notch.

A feature common to such horror films is that the victim (the protagonist Tree in this case) often has a character flaw or sin that we attribute the origin of the "monster" (the masked killer - either Lori or Tombs). In this case, Tree's character flaw is two-fold (a) she's emotionally distant, even mean, to everyone, caused by burying her sadness over her mom's death (who shares the same birthday with Tree), (b) she's having an affair with a married man. When Tree realized the issue with processing her mom's passing she breaks up with her lover, re-connects with her widowed father, and tries to be nicer to people, even to her roommate Lori. It's when she's trying to apologize to Lori that she realized what turns out to be the key
fact that will solve her problem: that Lori's to blame. When Tree kills Lori, and we get a feeling that Tree has overcome her character weaknesses in the process of solving her problem.

Two things take me out of the story. One is my fault, the other is the script and director's.
(1) My first confusion is the confluence of the scene starting in the film on minute 41 with that starting on minute 59. In the first scene, Tree and Carter are eliminating suspects who are killing Tree time after time, and in the second scene Carter is talking like it's just a nightmare that Tree is having. The first scene has effectively established that it's not a nightmare, so they don't seem to make sense together. However, they really do. They are from different days. Remember Tree's world: every new day, everything resets (memories and so on) except for her. So this is actually quite logical. Carter has reset, so can't connect the two seemingly inconsistent scenes.
(2) My second point of confusion is when the script and film both violate this rule (in Tree's world, each new day, everything resets, except for Tree's memories). When Tree fights Lori at the end of the film, Tree says

TREE
... It was poisoned. But I never ate it before.
...
So you had to find another way.

So Lori is not reseting like the others!

TREE
Then Tombs fell right into your lap...
You knew he’d wake up and escape.
Then they’d just assume he killed me.
... You’ve killed me before.
LORI
Then I guess I’ll just have to do it again.

What's the old saying, "Hind-sight is always 20-20"? This flub aside, the film (and script) are great fun and highly recommended examples of the comedy-horror genre. Studying them both and also making note of all the changes made in filming really helped me understand the process of bringing this story more effectively to the big screen.

2020-08-08

Even Steven for Steve (short story 23)

Over a year ago, as an exercise, I started writing one short story a week. This was something Harlan Ellison (I think) suggested to one of his fans, his reasoning being "You can't write 52 bad short stories in a row." I'm not sure about that, but here's one of those stories.



*

Steve doesn’t like his neighbor Rudy. There were lots of reasons. Some- times Rudy would go into his garage while Steve was at work and “borrow” something. If it was gone, Steve knew where to go. And it doesn’t matter if Steve tells Rudy to ask first. Rudy does what he wants when he wants to. Sometimes Rudy would dump his yard waste behind Steve’s bushes in the back of his yard. Is there any point in listing all the reasons? Not really. The point is, Steve doesn’t like Rudy.
Don’t think Steve was an anti-social type, nor that he’s just a stingy miser. His friend Leon comes over frequently, and when he’s over he eats from the friedge like it’s his food. The point here is that Steve also goes over to Leon’s and acts the same way. Even Steven, as the cliche goes (yes folks that pun was intended).

In fact, just the other day, Steve made a big pot of turkey soup and vegatables and invited Leon over for a meal. “Good, but a little plain,” Leon says.
“Add what you want,” Steve says, pushing salt, pepper, spices across the table.
Leon adds a lot of pepper, “That’s it,” Leon slurps with a satisfied smile. Steve looks at the amount of pepper Leon added with disapproval.
“Say, can I borrow a tupperware bowl and take some home with me?” Leon asks.
“Why not just come over? I love sitting down with someone else over soup,” Steve says. “Or, just come over can grab some yourself, if I’m working in the yard or something.”
“Hey, thanks Steve. You’re cool,” Leon says. Leon lives in the house behind him, and can just cut through their backyard.

So when Rudy “borrows” something from Steve without asking, or has his pets take a crap in his yard, Steve takes offense. It’s rude. So, to teach Rudy a lesson, Steve’s has taken to devising an appropriate response. An eye-for-an-eye sort of thing.
When Rudy took a hammer for the third time without asking, Steve pounded a nail into one of his tires. Then, Steve’s the first to tell Rudy about the “vandal attack.” Steve walks over to Rudy’s house, and knocks on the door politely.
Rudy opens, “Hi Steve, what’s up?” Rudy asks.
“Did you see what some asshole did to your car?” Steve asks. “Come here.” Steve leads Rudy to the back left tire of Rudy’s car. There’s a flat tire with a nail in it, and a hammer lying nearby.
“Holy shit!” Rudy says.
“I know. Hey, is that my hammer?” Steve asks, picking it up. “I thought it was lost.”
“Oh, I might have borrowed it from your garage and forgot to return it.”
“No, problem,” Steve says. “Sorry about your tire.” Steve walks back to his home with his hammer.
You get the idea?
Later that day, Steve has some soup. Leon wasn’t around, so he ate alone. Then he got a tummy ache. 
Was it a guilty conscience related to his vandalism, he wondered? He'd hear of these psychosomatic illnesses. He's a little worried.
But the Rudy’s car vandalism also gave Steve a sense of calm, as though the balance of the scales of justice has been restored. Steve says to himself “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.” He thinks of himself as the arc. So when Steve got a stomach ache after the latest action of his moral arc, he figured maybe that's the price he has to pay to balance moral order in world.
The next day, after Rudy took a power drill for the second time without asking, Steve drilled several holes in each of Rudy’s Bonsai trees decorating his back porch. Steve walks over to Rudy’s house, and knocks on the door politely. Rudy opens, “Hi Steve, what is it this time?” Rudy asks.
“Did you see what that damn woodpecker did to your Bonsai garden in your back yard?” Steve asks. Steve leads Rudy to Rudy’s back yard.
“They’re all going to die now,” Rudy says. “They took years to grow and cultivate.”
“Bummer, dude. Hey, it that my power drill?” Steve asks, pointing to Rudy’s picnic table.
“Oh, maybe I borrowed it from your garage and forgot to return it.”
"Why is it wet?"
"It rained last night. Maybe I forgot to bring it in."
“Water under the bridge,” Steve says. “Sorry about your tree.” Steve walks back to his home with his drill. Later that day, Steve has some more soup. Leon wasn’t around, so he ate alone. Then, as before, he got a tummy ache.

Again, the nagging question, does he deep down feel sorry for killing the bonsai trees? He's a lot worried now. He calls up Leon. Leon would know. “Hey Leon, I have a question for you,” Steve says into the phone.
“I’m glad you called, I wanted to thank you for the soup,” Leon says. “You already did, the other day.”
“No, for lunch. You were over in Rudy’s back yard, so I helped myself. I love it with lots of pepper.”
“You added pepper to my soup?”
“Yeah, it’s too plain, don’t you think?”
“No, pepper gives me a tummy ache.”
“I’m sorry dude. Did I put in too much?”
Now Steve knows, it’s not a guilty conscience, it’s just pepper. Steve realizes where his tummy ache is coming from and is happy it isn’t from guilt at all. “Thank God for the pepper,” Steve says.
“What? You like pepper or you don’t?” Leon asks.
“Don’t woory, man. I’ll make a new pot of soup tomorrow. Come on over,” Steve says, hanging up the phone and smiling. He goes to his window and looks at Rudy’s house. “The moral arc of the universe is long and it bends towards fucking you up some more, Rudy you asshole.”

2020-08-05

Breakdown and review of the script for "Annabelle" (2014)

Breakdown and review of Annabelle
directed by John Leonetti
written by Gary Dauberman

This 2014 movie was released right after the success of The Conjuring in 2013. I love Dauberman's script for Annabelle. Lots of dark humor in the action lines. In fact, I enjoyed the script more than the movie. However, I do think the movie fixes a lot of the problems with the script. The script is online (just google for it) and is well worth reading if you are studying the craft of screenwriting.

I'm mainly going to discuss the script in this post. The movie has the following principal differences with the script:
  1. scattered small improvements on the dialogue, and lots of extra inserts which add to the scariness of the story (for example, Mia imagining things that are consistent with the feeling in the script but not explicitly written in),
  2. the cat scenes are all gone,
  3. the scenes with Fuller (the landlord) are all gone,
  4. the used bookstore owner (Carl) is replaced by Evelyn (played with her usual expertise by Alfre Woodard) and all her scenes were rewritten and greatly expanded,
  5. the death of Father Perez was rewritten and drawn out into several scenes,
  6. there is a different ending, with Evelyn dying in place of Mia.
While the description below follows Mia and John, Mia is the protagonist.

The first scene is a sweet scene of John and Mia Form, sitting in a pew of a catholic church playing a game of thumb wrestling. On screen text: "Los Angeles, 1970." At the pulpit, Father Perez repeats the biblical lines "Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his loved ones." Soon the sermon is over and they go outside with their friends and neighbors Pete and Sharon Higgins. They carpool home together. During the drive they discuss Mia's pregnancy, baby names, ...

When they get home, we learn they don't lock their front door. Not smart, suggests Mia (we will see she's right). John is a doctor who has about to start his residency. John has bought a surprise gift for Mia - a doll. Annabelle. She's wanted one and loves the present. The perfect addition to their nursery. Not.

That night, the creepiness starts. Curtains billow, we see the lights on at the Higgn's house next door. Pete is up. The curtains fall. Sharon screams. There's blood on the wall of their bedroom. Then their lights go out.

Mia tells John to get up. She heard the scream, he didn't. They get up,walk down the hall to their front door. Here's the script:

He starts to turn the doorknob.
No...
Don't do that.

MIA
Just be careful.

JOHN
I will...
He pulls open the Front Door to reveal -- gasp -- Oh.

My sense was wrong. It's nothing.

Great stuff:-) I loved that. Anyway, they go next door and John discovers Pete and Sharon have been savagely butchered. Mia runs home to call the police. She doesn't notice a thin, bald woman in white clothes stained with blood in her nursery. The woman holds Annabelle. Mia hears her. A man with a sharp knife has also managed to sneak into the closet of the master bedroom (remember the unlocked doors? - set-up and pay off). They fight, Mia screaming. He has cut her in the stomach. John bursts through the bedroom door and beats the crap out of the man. He drops the knife. The woman runs in screaming and jumps on John's back. Mia picks up the knife and stabs the man. The woman jumps on Mia, pulls the knife away from her and is about to stab her when John throws the woman into the hallway. Just them police charge through the front door. The woman runs into the nursery with the knife and locks the door. EMTs enter to treat Mia while the police kick open the door to the nursery. The woman sits on the floor holding Annabelle to her stomach. She's slashed her throat and we see blood drip down into the eye of Annabelle.

That's the opening. We're now on page 17.

Mia is given an ultrasound at the hospital. Their doctor orders her to bed rest for the remainder (3 months) of the pregnancy. She can get up to go to the bathroom, that's it. By the time Mia can go home, John has cleaned the house. The script is really good with the sounds effects. That night, they fall asleep to the "sound is the tickticktick of the clock on the mantle." Later, Mia is awakened by the
"TchnkTchnkTchnkTchnkTchnkTchnkTchnkTchnkTchnk ... the sewing machine needle going at top speed."
John runs to the living room and pulls the plug. As he passes the nursery he sees Annabelle.

Days (weeks?) later, Mia is watches TV when the screen goes to static. She gets up, sees Annabelle in the hallway, goes to the bathroom to change bandages on her stomach. John comes home and they discuss a possible residency in Pasadena (California). John notices Annabelle, but the doll has mysteriously moved. Mia tells John to get rid of that doll. He throws it into the garbage can at the curb. The police detective from the Higgins' murder stops by. He tells them the man and woman were in a cult. They were the Higgins' daughter and her BF. Mia asks "Were they satanic?" The detective says he will look into it more.

The next day (or week?), John puts on a suit and tie. He's off to interview for the Pasadena residency. (He gets it.) Later that day Mia is sewing something. The stove turns on by itself and starts a kitchen fire, the sewing machine stabs her in the finger with the sewing needle, the flames cause a ceiling fan to fall on Mia. A neighbor rushes in to help her.

John runs through the halls of the hospital into her room. Mia is very weak. She just delivered. It's a girl. Leah. Mia refuses to return to their apartment. No problem, John has already got an apartment closer to the Pasadena hospital he'll be working at.

They are seven floors up in a 1940-era apartment building, complete with a creaky old elevator with a sliding grating door. Boxes all over their new apartment. They meet their "landlord", a 30-year old named Joe Fuller. "Tall, scruffy. He could use a shower. Maybe two of them. Definitely went to Woodstock."

That Sunday they are back in church listening to Father Perez. John wants to play thumb wrestling with Mia but Mia says she has to change Leah and leaves. After the sermon, Father Perez takes a picture of them, with Leah, with his camera.

The next day (week?) Mia lets Fuller in to fix the kitchen faucet while John is at work. Fuller leaves and Mia takes Leah for a stroller ride outside. She passes some unfriendly kids sitting on the stoop
making crayon on paper drawings then, once outside, she passes a used bookstore, sees a book on the occult in the window. She returns to the apartment building and the unfriendly kids are gone. However,
a drawing remains and Mia picks it up. As she goes up the stairs she sees another drawing. She picks it up. Nest to her apartment door, she sees another drawing and picks that up too. Goes inside. The drawings are creepy, telling a cartoon-strip story of a bus hitting Mia and Leah's stroller in the street outside. When John comes home, she shows him the drawings. He says he will talk to them.

More creepy stuff:
* Lights go out in a thunder storm while she's alone in the basement.
* Strange sounds them Fuller instantly appears shining a flashlight in her eyes.
* Stray cat hisses.
* She thinks she hears the woman who attacked them at the old house, followed by loud stomping noises.
* She turns the record player off then it turns on by itself.
* The nursery door slams shut on her by itself.

Mia is stressed out and John is spending all his time at work. They agree to get counseling with Father Perez. He comforts them and asks
"...after slaying the monsters you have, what is there left to be scared of?"

We are on page 51 of the script.

The next day (week?), in the nursery, John and Mia continue to unpack boxes. They are down to the last box. Mia says "Someone pop the champagne." John tells Mia that he met the kids who Mia saw. He says they denied making the drawings. "Liars" she says. Finally, Mia opens the last box.

In the last box she finds ... you guessed it ... Annabelle. John wants to throw it out again but Mia decides to put it on the shelf in the nursery.

Creepy stuff starts to happen again.

Creepy 1:
* Mia puts a baby tub in the kitchen sink and starts water. She leaves to the nursery to get Leah. The water turns scalding hot all by itself.
* Mia almost puts Leah in the boiling water but tests it first. She sees how hot it is, runs back to put Leah in the nursery and stumbles over (you guessed it) Annabelle. The script:

"Wait.
Was she there when -- ?
Never mind."

They call Fuller to fix the kitchen faucet again. He says "It's plumbed correctly. You just can't get hot water out of the cold water tap. Hell, in this building, you can barely get hot water out of the hot water tap..."

Creepy 2:
Stray cat "leaps onto the window ledge" outside their nursery window. (Seven floors up.) The script:

"Mia enters the room carrying folded baby clothes.
Sees the Cat.
Taps her finger on the glass.
Stray Cat leaps away."

Creepy 3:
Later, the stray cat scratches at the front door. She opens it and it runs into the nursery, joining "a DOZEN OTHER STRAY CATS in the room." The nursery window is closed, Annabelle on the shelf. Mia picks up Leah, opens the front door and shoos all the cats run out. She slams the door, goes inside and sees
Annabelle now sitting on the bed in the master bedroom.

The next day (week?), the police detective visits. The Higgins' daughter was named Annabelle. She and her BF were in a cult that called themselves the "Order of the Ram."

Mia takes Leah in the stroller to the local used bookstore. She meets the owner Carl. He helps her research the cult. Carl reads from one of the books on the occult: "The Order of the Ram -- based on what you told me -- this ceremony they were attempting required them to take their own blood and the life of an innocent to take the soul..." Carl goes on to tell Mia that the cult wants to summon an inhuman spirit. The script:

CARL
And they don't attach themselves to locations.
They attach themselves to objects. Using them as
conduits to ultimately get what they want...

MIA
The soul of an innocent...

Mia buys a bunch of the books on the occult. (Later we learn she puts the books in the stroller and carries Leah.) On the way home, the stroller gets slips away from her and goes into the street. A bus hits it. Books fly and the stroller is crushed under the bus. [Here we learn she's been carrying Leah the whole time.] Fuller sees the crash and runs out to help her.

Once Mia gets to her apartment she tears the place apart trying to find Annabelle. Annabelle's disappeared. However, the books fall off the bookshelf, very nearly hitting Leah. Mia saves Leah in the nick of time.

One night, Father Perez comes over for dinner. He brings them the photo he took of them, framed and gift wrapped. Mia tells Perez about the cult and Perez says
"I do know that demons just can't take souls. A person has to die before their soul is released..."
He tells them he will put them in touch with churches who have people who can help them better than he can. Perez leaves and as he drives away, he hears something in his back seat. As he turns to look, he sees Annabelle. Then he collides head-first into another car and dies.

John gets ready to go to work. He promises Mia he will be home early tonight. She's feeding Leah in the nursery and reading one of her books on the occult. On the way down he runs into Fuller and asks him to look on Mia while he's gone. After feeding Leah, Mia unplugs the TV, record player, checks the knobs on the stove, locks the door and windows. She curls up with Leah on the bed.

Creepy stuff:
* Books fall off the shelf. Loud thumps as they land.
* TV turns on by itself, cycles through all the channels.
* Record player turns on full blast by itself.

Mia runs out to the living room. Hears Leah cry. Runs back to the bedroom. Leah's gone. Annabelle's back. Mia runs to the nursery. Still no Leah in sight. screams "What do you want?" Annabelle writes on the nursery wall in red crayon:
"Her soul. Her soul. Her soul. ..."
Mia grabs Annabelle and tries to through her out the nursery window but it's locked. She sees Fuller down on the ground outside. (It's early evening.) She yells "Fuller, please help!" Fuller rushes inside, punches the evevator button, it takes him to the top floor (past 7), then it drops him down to the basement, killing him. The script: "Crucified by a piece of rebar. As if the fall wasn't enough to kill him."

Residents gather outside, talking to police.

Inside, Mia sees the framed photo taken by Father Perez. She says: "You want the soul of an innocent? But a mother is closer to God than any other creature..." (harking back to the lines from Perez in the opening scene.) Just then, John pulls up outside, rushes up the steps. Mia sees the window to the nursery is now open. Annabelle sits below it. Leah is in the crib. Mia kisses Leah, says
"I love you more than anything. I have to do this. I'd do anything for you..."
Mia picks up Annabelle. John huffs and puffs up the stairs, taking 2 at a time. He finally reaches the 7th floor. Mia climbs out the nursery window holding Annabelle. John finally opens their front door and runs in searching for Mia. "Mia! Where are you?" Mia's on the ledge, and can't hear him. The nursery door is locked. As John busts the door open, Mia steps off the ledge with Annabelle. He doesn't know. He picks up Leah. "Where's Mommy?"
He looks out the window. The script:
"Looks down and sees --
Oh God.
His wife.
Face up on the concrete.
A dark red pool of blood surrounds her.
JOHN
NO!
He looks away. Can't stand to see her like that.
But we PUSH IN on Mia.
Staring up at us with dead eyes.
Keep pushing in...
Getting closer...
Closer...
Until our focal point changes and we shift over to -- Annabelle.
In Mia's lifeless hands.
We continue to PUSH IN until --
Annabelle's entire face takes up our frame."

The script ends with a woman in a thrift store who picks out Annabelle as a present for her daughter. (This is the same woman who appears in The Conjuring, indicating this film being a prequel.) In the movie, this ending is rewritten and put at the beginning, so all this is a flashback.

*****

Review:

This script is a lot of fun to read. It has lots of good set-up and pay-offs. A typical "monster in the house" movie starts with the victim having some character flaw or sin (greed is a common one) and them the monster (the doll Annabelle in this case) appears and does what it does to the victim. Like a fable, the audience gets a feeling of catharsis that the sin has been punished. In this story, I don't see the sin or character flaw. I'm not making a value judgement since I'm not sure it would make a difference. I'm just saying that this film has less of a fable-feel to it, if that's a word.

A with all such horror films, one has to suspend belief to get into this world of supernatural spirits who occupy a doll so it can take the soul of someone recently dead. Once you accept that leap, the events that don't quite make sense become more reasonable. (Police arriving so quickly after an event; cats on the 7th floor; that a doctor would not get someone - a family member or a nurse, someone - to care for his bed-ridden pregnant wife...) The tension and creepiness slowly builds as the story progresses. The ending (in the script) is a bummer for audiences - who wants to see the protagonist die? - but nicely pays off the set-up in the opening scene.

It's structured well, the second act starting when they have moved an Mia accepts Annabelle back in her home (after John has thrown it out). This is when their problems really start and when things get worst, despite their efforts to figure out why the creepy events keep happening to them. With the death of Father Perez (especially in the script), it seems as though there is nothing Mia can do to save Leah. In the film, Evelyn sacrifices herself to save the family and be "reunited" with her (dead) daughter but the script has Mia sacrificing herself for her daughter.

If you are a horror fan and want to read a well-written script, I recommend reading Dauberman's Annabelle script!

2020-08-03

Mad Professor Mu (short story 22)

Over a year ago, as an exercise, I started writing one short story a week. This was something Harlan Ellison (I think) suggested to one of his fans, his reasoning being "You can't write 52 bad short stories in a row." I'm not sure about that, but here's one of those stories.



*

One cold winter day, Mad Professor Mu sits back in his chair in his comfy den and looks at his desk covered with exam papers. ACHOO! He just manages to cover his mouth. He's alone, but he likes to be polite even at home alone. He gets a kleenex from the third drawer on the left of his desk and blows his nose. All this dusk affects his allergies. From outward appearances, it’s a disorganized desk. But to Professor Mu, every kleenex box, every paper, book, pen, pencil, and even eraser dust is where it should be. It is a microcosym of the world. Everything should be be as a result of logical cause-and-effect. He daydreams of his perfect world, where everyone’s rational, we all think about our actions and their consequences like a chess master. We all understand and respect each other, because it’s only logical - disrespect leads to unbalance and disharmony. Everyone knows what they know and what they don’t know. What they don’t know, they admit. Professor Mu would certainly admit it if there was anything he didn’t know. But, of course, in his mind, a perfect brain if there ever was one, there wasn’t. As much as he knew his humongous talents, he also knew that bragging was a form of disrespect, so to be avoided.

In his 10th year at a small liberal arts college, Mad Professor Mu finishes grading his last calculus exam.

He sets his red pen down, adds the last exam to the stack of finished ones on his desk, and sighs. But it’s not a sigh of relief as much as it’s a sigh of disgust. To avoid giving everyone an F, he lowered his standards so far below what he thinks is reasonable, that he wonders if he has any standards left at all. What is he doing to the world by passing all these students, ones he considers the weakest of any class he’s ever taught? Of course, he says this about students each class at the end of each semester, and he knows that he does, but he shudders anyway. Zoe and Zander come to mind, the morons. And they've selected electrical engineering as their majors! What audacity. The won't get admitted, not with their weak math skills they won't be, not if he has anything to do with it.

That is his world and that is when his momentary peace of mind was interrupted. RING! It’s a call from his best student, Ariel. She and Aaron were the only students who got an A. She flatters Professor Mu with news of how much the class loved him and hated the semester to end. Of course, he didn’t tell her the feeling wasn’t mutual, because, like the chess master he was, he calculated that would put and end to more flattery. “Isn’t that nice,” he says. With Professor Mu, flattery will get you brownie points. Ariel has an idea: an end of the semester party, a week after the final exam, and the party is to be held at his house. Earlier in the semester, he let it slip to Ariel that he rented a house for the semester near campus. Now he regrets that, but he has to admit that, of course, his house is the logical location. Anyone with a basic understanding of two-dimensional geometry and constrained minimization problems could see it was the optimal off-campus location for a large end-of-semester party. He had to say yes, it was the only rational decision.

The final was earlier that day. He had just a week to prepare. As if he was starting a new class, a new semester, and a new topic, Professor Mu prepared like, well you know, mad. What would they do at the party? Well, eat of course. He computed the amount of food and drink and ordered it all online. These grocery delivery apps are great, he thought. Then he thought of the entertainment. Hangman? No, he’s done that so many times before. Hide and Seek? No, too time consuming. Wink Murder? Yes!

Wink Murder is a game in which a secretly selected player, called the Killer, is able to “kill” others by winking at them, while the surviving players try to identify the killer. There is a variant with a publicly selected player, called the Detective, whose job it is to guess who the murderer is. The detective gets only three guesses. He plans to have the students select the Killer by drawing straws. However, Professor Mu will arrange the short straw to be picked by Aaron, so he’ll be the Killer. Professor Mu will select Ariel to be the Detective. He definitely didn’t want Zander or Zoe to be the Killer or the Detective. They were his worst students. Probably cheaters as well, he worried (without any evidence). Otherwise, how could they possibly qualify to be allowed into his class, the great Professor Mu?

It's the week after the final exam. Prof Mu gave a test question on diffusion equations and absorption rates on his final exam. A simple equation, which he explained over and over again. The solution is the simplest of functions, an exponential function. That test question was a “gimme,” a question so easy that it was a gift to the student. Unfortunately, that generosity was lost on every student but Aaron and Ariel, and everyone but those two got it wrong. Professor Mu knew one thing: those students must pay for not understanding diffusion rates. He has a special chemical in mind to dissolve into their bloodstream. It’s of his own invention - he calls it EverSleep. It will put them to sleep, but without the antidote, they will continue to sleep forever! Especially Zander and Zoe. He’ll bake his EverSleep doses into a cake. That will teach them to understand diffusion equations and absorption rates, the morons.

Mad Professor Mu also gave a test question on the electric force on his final exam. He bent over backwards to try to give Zoe and Zander a chance. And it had a simple solution, if you were paying attention. Again, all but Aaron and Ariel got it wrong. Professor Mu has a shocking surprise for some of those poor students who can't understand the differential equations governing electricity. While wearing a special glove of his own invention, he can deliver a deadly shock to his students, yet he feels nothing since the inside of the glove is insulated. The glove is attached to a small high-capacity battery, also of his own invention. It’s really rather ingenious, as it gathers it’s electrical charge via Wi-Fi. He'll patent it one day and make millions. Professor Mu can’t wait to see the look on Zander’s face when he shakes his hand and gives him the shock of his life! That will be the test of the battery's effectiveness. Of course, he’s only do it after Zander has his fair share of EverSleep cake.

Hours before the party is to start, Professor Mu pulls out his special glove, and charges it's Wi-Fi battery. Then he goes to the kitchen and starts to bake the cake with the special EverSleep doses. He's about to put it in the oven, his hands covered with EverSleep powder when -- ACHOO! He turns away from the cake and covers his face with his hands to catch the sneeze in his palm. He wanders to his den to get a kleenex from the third drawer on the left side of his desk when he suddenly feels drowsy. He realizes too late that he's accidentally dosed himself with his own EverSleep. He collapses in his chair.

Ariel and Aaron, accompanied by Zoe and Zander, arrive at the party early, with beer and wine. They knocked and knocked, no answer. Zander walks around to the back yard and sees Prof Mu unresponsive in his den. He tells the others then, being the most athletic of them, climbs in through a window. He discovers Professor Mu is merely asleep. But he notices the Wi-Fi battery and Professor Mu’s notebook on his experiments. He may not know a lot of mathematics but he knows a Wi-Fi battery has never been invented that small. He stuffs the battery and notebook in his jacket, then climbs back out the window.

“Professor Mu is sleeping. I think he’s tired from all the grading. Let’s party at Aaron’s,” Zander says.

“Sounds good, Zander” Aaron says. Ariel and Zoe nod.

“Zoe and I will meet over there. Ariel, can you ride with Aaron?” Zander asks.

“No problem,” Ariel says. Ariel and Aaron get in their car and take off.

Zander and Zoe get in theirs. Zander turns to Zoe. “Zoe, we are going to be very, very rich.”

2020-08-02

Christopher MacQuarrie's "Zen and the Art of Filmmaking" (part 4)

First, there is no such thing as Christopher McQuarrie's "Zen and the Art of Filmmaking". I made that up. But if you've ever read Robert Pirsig's Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, there are parallels. Pirsig compares the romantic view of motorcycle maintenance -- thinking of a motorcycle as an ideal machine, getting frustrated when it has to be taken into the shop -- with the rational view -- where one uses problem-solving skills to diagnose and repair the bike yourself. (For those who haven't read it, it's a cool title but doesn't have that much to do with Zen Buddhism.) After watching/reading all of McQuarrie's interview, I think you will agree he is very much a highly-skilled problem-solver.

What this post is is an attempt to present (an edited) version of the transcript of Chris Lockhart's interview with Christopher McQuarrie on his podcast, The Inside Pitch. That is one heck of a remarkably candid (and generous) discussion of McQuarrie's philosophy of filmmaking, spanning over 2 hours. Among other great advice, McQuarrie discusses his experience and lessons learned in making The Usual Suspects, The Way of the Gun, Jack Reacher, and his Mission Impossible movies such as Rogue Nation. If you have searched the internet for McQuarrie's approach to screenwriting (I have) you will find this interview to be a diamond in the rough.

Now, if you are a normal person, just stop reading and go check out the 2-hour interview here. This series of posts is merely provided for those few (like me) who prefer to read things slowly. I warn you that I got this from editing the Youtube transcript, which recorded every "um"s and other speech imperfections (besides having no punctuation or upper/lower cases). Editing it has probably created a large number of errors. A minefield of my grammatical errors ahead: the reader is warned.


This (very long) blog post is the final one of this series and is a continuation of part 3, which is here.

***

CL: Can we go back in time a little bit, maybe to your early days? A lot of our members are just getting started, maybe they have no films under their belt or maybe one, or they've just had a screenplay optioned. One of our members has just written here that on your Twitter feed, of which many of our members are following, that you have recommended that young filmmakers go out and make movies.

CM: Yes.

CL: Can you talk a little bit about that? And can you address that in the Covid- era as well?

CM: Going back to what I was talking about earlier, there are no rules until you write them. Covid is just another rule. Covid is telling you "okay you can't make movies in a conventional sense." It's creating a limitation for you. that's not going to stop you from making narrative. If you're saying I can't make a movie because of Covid, what you're adhering to is the story you want to tell versus the environment in which you want to tell it. I don't make movies. my movies made me. anytime I try to make a movie I don't get it made. It's all when I when I work at creating, when I work at finding an emotion, when I work at doing something, and collaborating and creating, I end up making movies. Your intro left out a seven year period where I didn't make any films at all. Your intro left out a 12 year period between my first and second film as a director. I could not get arrested. I was ready to quit the film business, and I did that because I was trying to control the process. I was trying to make a kind of movie and I was trying to determine what my future was, rather than just going to work and creating my future. When Covid struck and when the movie shut down, what Tom said in terms of bringing together all the crew, and having these calls every day, he said we are creating a future for this business. That's that's the job that we're doing right now. We're not sitting here making mission impossible. We're keeping people working, and we're giving people a future. The movie will happen or the movie won't. If it doesn't happen it's not because we weren't ready. That philosophy applies to Mission Impossible, Public Access, The Way of the Gun, every movie I've ever worked on. You produce and you create. You're focused on execution and not on result. What a lot of the people out there listening to my voice are doing right now, you have a screenplay and you're trying to figure out how to get that screenplay made. That's great. That should not be taking up 100 % of your bandwidth. You've written it. Put it aside, get to work on something else. Create a little film. create a 30-second film. Create a TikTok. Whatever it is, find people to work with. Find people to create with. By creating you will find who those people are. You will create a creative catalyst and that's where the ignition is going to come from. Everybody that I know that made it in the business came from some beginning like that. Yes some of them had a script they submitted and the script got picked up and the next thing you know, Bob's your uncle and they're making movies. That happens. It doesn't happen as often as the people who create. Now if you're a writer and you don't want to do those things, you don't want to direct, and you don't want to produce, you don't want to edit, do it anyway. Because the truth of the matter is, if you don't understand people love to say - and this has become kind of a mantra of mine - writers love to say all the time that “writing is where the process of filmmaking begins.” And they're very proud of that fact. And I hate to break it to you, it's not true. It's where the process of filmmaking ends. You will be writing the screenplay all the way until the last day of ADR. And you probably won't be paid to do it. Understanding the process of filmmaking is where writing begins. The more you know about how movies are made the more rock solid the writing you are going to be delivering. More importantly, the more people will want you on their movies doing their work, getting their movies made and helping to realize what it is they want to do, you have to determine early on that being a screenwriter is different than screenwriting. Getting your movie made is different than making movies. You can do all of those things at the same time. What we tend to do is we tend to choose one path and focus obsessively on that path, and then we find ourselves very frustrated when path doesn't take us anywhere. Well that's because you're actually not moving, you're waiting, and you're waiting for somebody to come along and give you that opportunity. It's not to say that can't happen but get busy living or get busy done.

CL: This is a philosophy that a lot of people are not are not accustomed to hearing. I think it's very refreshing.

CM: You don't have to listen to a word of it. Filmmaking is a process. It's a process of acceptance. Editing is a process of acceptance. Writing is a process of acceptance. You can fight these ideas and many of you will. We tend to look at the executive is my obstacle, and the director who won't read my screenplay is my obstacle. Well, they're not active obstacles. They're not people who are out to stop you from doing your career. You're the obstacle. I was the biggest obstacle in my career, hands down. Because I believed in dogma. I believed in things that I was told. I had gone around for those seven years with screenplays asking for permission to make movies, or asking someone to make my movie. Which is not even asking permission to make a movie, it's asking someone if they would kindly take my dream away from me and make it into their dream. what I started to do is put all those scripts in a drawer. I went into a pitch meeting after Valkyrie. I went into a pitch meeting in a studio with some executive who I never saw again and I sat in his office and he said “so, what do you got for me?” I had been through the process now to the point where I didn't really care about making movies if it meant having to have these meetings. Because those pitch meetings are submitting your scripts to studios. I sat down with this guy and he said “what do you got for me?” and I said “nothing.” He said “what are you talking about?” I said I've got nothing I don't have anything to sell you. “What have you got? How can I help you? I know how to make movies. How can I help you make yours?” He started pitching me his slate of movies. He pitched me the first movie and it was a terrible idea and I went "yeah no, I'm not interested in that. What else have you got?" I'll remind you I needed a job. I needed work. I was like "no, not that one either". He started sweating and getting really nervous. He was really terrible at pitching his own ideas. He didn't know how to do it. I suddenly realized I've been in the wrong chair for 15 years at this point. It's so much easier to go to them and say what do you got. First of all they're motivated to make a movie. I don't have to convince them of making a film, they have films they want to make. I may not agree with the ideas that they're interested in making. I may not be totally excited about them, but I can find a way into those movies. So what happened when I couldn't get arrested, all those years when I couldn't get my own movies made, I started working on other people's movies. I'd heard nightmare stories about Doug Lyman. I didn't want to work with Doug Lyman, based on the myths and legends that I'd heard about Doug. but Tom Cruise called me and he said hey there's this script. It's called "All You Need is Kill." I said yeah I read it it's not a good screenplay. He goes “no, it's really funny.” I said I read the script you did and it's not funny. He said “no, but it's going to be funny. This is a very funny situation and I want you to think of that movie in terms of making it funny.” I said oh okay, all right. Those are my marching orders and that's how we made Edge of Tomorrow. Not because I went and begged to be on that movie but because I looked at a project that terrified me, that I didn't want to do, a genre I didn't want to be a part of, a director who really scared the crap out of me. Because his process is completely very difficult for writers, until you figure him out. And I embraced it. I leaned into it and said "you know, my movie can wait, my future can wait." By the way I took that job the day I finished color timing Jack Reacher. I had just fought my way back to being a director. I delivered my movie and at a point when any other filmmaker would say "what's my directing gig now?" What how do I parlay this into my next directing gig? I turned around and went right back to being a screenwriter for somebody else, because that was where the creativity was. I was not going to go back to handing my script to people and begging for permission to do it. I just won't do it. You know it's fine to make that a part of your day. It's fine to dedicate an hour of your day to to pushing your dream and it's important that you do that. Most importantly, just check yourself. What am I doing to create value in myself so that other people want me working on their movies? I never set out to make Mission Impossible. I never set out to make two of them let alone four of them. but by the time we got to the third and fourth Mission Impossible, I was in a position to say to the studio: "yeah i'll make these movies but I have to start scouting tomorrow and I don't know when you're going to see a screenplay". And the studio said okay on Fallout. I was standing in a desert waiting for the right three minutes of sunlight and thinking about how David Lean when he was making Lawrence of Arabia used to go out to the desert. He had the luxury of standing around waiting until the light changed so that he could shoot Lawrence of Arabia. I never set out to do those things. Had I set out to do them I never would have gotten there. And when Tom Cruise comes to me with an idea, now any idea that he's passionate about, and says I want this in Mission Impossible, I say great, write it on a post-it note stick it on my bulletin board and go away. Because that will find its way into the movie and the harder we try to put it in the movie. The more likely it will never ever work. But every idea that we just think of, and let go of it, finds its way into the process. Because it's who we are. It's part of our subconscious that is percolating and trying to get out. Your movie is in you. Your movie is working to get out. When you're forcing that, that's what you're feeling: the obstacle. You're trying to make your movie happen, instead of letting your movie happen. You're trying to make yourself a filmmaker, instead of letting your film make you a filmmaker.

CL: There's a lot of self-actualization here. I want to know about that desert that you spoke about, that seven years, what was all that about? How did that help to sort of shape this whole philosophy of yours?

CM: It was it was a couple of things. I made The Way of the Gun believing that if you made a film that film would parlay you into other directing jobs. I was determined to make a film my way and break a lot of molds. lo and behold, I did that I also made a movie that nobody came to see. that critics hated. It took 20 years to find its audience. How you can do that, but do that on purpose. Don't do that when you're doing something else. What I define success as now versus then. If we're going to talk about success, let's all talk about a workable definition of what success is. Is it box office success? Critical success is not in our control. Rewards are not in our control. What's in our control is honoring our commitments. That to me is the definition of success. That's not saying I am successful. That's my objective. that's what I look at, as a definition of success. I make a commitment to my audience to tell a kind of story. when I do that I immediately determine the size of my film by determining the size of my audience. I determine what size my movie can be. You can't make The Usual Suspects for 140 million dollars any more than you can make Mission Impossible for five million dollars. You think first in terms of who your audience is and you make your movie appropriately for that audience. It could be an audience of one. I'm not sitting here telling you to be a big mass-market filmmaker. I'm not telling you to make Tom Cruise movies. You want to make David Lynch movies, make them. Don't try to make your David Lynch movie for 240 million dollars out of the gate. Just think about who's really going to show up to a David Lynch movie. You work and you make your movies proportionate to that. I didn't do that with The Way of the Gun. With The Way of the Gun I had an objective that was completely dis-aligned with what i was doing. While I was doing it I wanted to get to a place where I could make big historical epics. I didn't start out by trying to make a movie that made people confident enough in me that they would give me more money. I actually made a movie that was an intent that was antagonistic not only to the studio but to the audience. Then I was surprised when I got exactly the reaction that the movie was designed to do. that put me in the desert for seven years, along with a lot of other choices. I was deliberately antagonistic, headstrong, prideful, responding emotionally to all kinds of horrible insulting behavior that you're going to suffer as writers. I took a lot of things personally had a big chip on my shoulder. There was absolutely no value in me except the fact that I had written The Usual Suspects. It's the only thing that kept me in the game. Throughout that time I kept writing screenplays, believing another myth. I was believing that if you write a screenplay, I was told by my agent at the time, if you write a good screenplay you'll be delivered well. Those screenplays never got made. It doesn't matter that it's good. It's not commercial. it's not it's not commercial in proportion to its cost. If it was a little three million dollar movie about the same subject I could probably get it made, but it's not it's a 90 million movie about that subject so it's not a good plan. It's a great dream and I'll never give up that dream and I will keep trying to get it made. I'll keep making Mission Impossibles until somebody says "what do you want to do?" I'm here to tell you I made Fallout. Fallout made a lot of money. It made the most money of any of the Mission Impossible movies. It was the most successful movie of Tom Cruise's career, dollar for dollar. They still don't come to me and say "what do you want to do?" They come to me and say we'd like you to do something for us. We'll pay a little bit more money to do it. That's because I'm on a trajectory that didn't start with wisdom. It started from a place of antagonism. I've heard many myths, and I'm going to be one of those stories that you can get where I am by doing that. It's just going to take you as long as it took me to get here. Don't be surprised when you're seven years in the desert like I was. In that time I was rewriting studio movies that never got made. I was using the money out that I was being paid to do that to finance the writing of screenplays that no one has ever made. Except one, and that script was Valkyrie. And in that seven years I was shopping that script all over town. Nobody would read it let alone show any interest in making it. It wasn't until Bryan Singer came to me having read the script. He and I had many ups and downs, many falling outs, and we were in the middle of one of those. I hadn't heard from him in a couple years and he found the script he called me up. He said "I want to make a movie that doesn't have the pressure of a big opening weekend, I don't want to make another Superman. I want to make a movie that is supposed to fail and this is a perfect move for that.” That was the ambition going into Valkyrie. There were no illusions about this was going to be a giant moneymaker movie. This was going to be a movie that people took at face value. It's not a commercial film and it didn't become a commercial film until tom cruise got involved. The whole reason Tom Cruise got involved is because I was in a restaurant, listening to people at the next table talking about Tom Cruise, who had just left Paramount Pictures. And they were talking about Tom like his career was over. I thought I think this guy's got a couple more movies in him and I did something that I'd never done in my entire career. I called my manager and I said is there any way you can get me a meeting with Tom Cruise? I'd never asked for a general meeting in my career. He got me a meeting at Tom's company and I had to go through several several layers of meetings. One with Don Granger, who was then an executive of the company, that turned into a meeting with Paula Wagner, and that turned into a meeting with Tom. That conversation ultimately turned into Valkyrie. If I'd had that conversation even a year before I wouldn't have been ready. By the time I had the conversation with Tom I was ready to quit the movie business. I was ready to let everything go. I wasn't trying to make a movie happen the way I wanted it to happen. What I was trying to do was unload my screenplay so that I could pay off my debts and get out of the movie business. In doing everything I could to get out of the movie business, I got sucked in and I took a producing credit on that movie. I took a producing credit on that movie only so that I would be paid more money. I didn't know how to produce a film. I just figured I put the movie together I deserve a producing credit. Well, Paula Wagner sat me down and she said I understand you're a producer on the film. Of course my answer was "well yes in name only" but a little voice in my head said how you answer this question will determine the rest of your life and choose carefully. Instead of saying "no well yes I'm just a producer but I'm gonna cash a check and get out of here", I decided to say "I am now". She said good because I've been working with Tom Cruise for 25 years, I've been on set with him every day for every movie in those 25 years, and now that I'm running united artists I can't be there. I need somebody to be Tom's onset guy and I want that to be you. Every day I went to work waiting for Tom Cruise to figure out that I didn't know what I was doing. I went to work every day expecting to be fired. All I did was was deliver on everything I said I would deliver on, day by day by day, until one day they gave me a job I couldn't do and when that day came I was going to be fired. Now, suddenly, I'm in Germany and I'm making a World War II movie. I had to let somebody else direct it, somebody I didn't want to let direct it, but now suddenly there I was making this movie. I was learning more about film from a guy who'd worked with every living filmmaker that you could ever possibly want to work with. Every day my wife and I went to bed after having a wonderful day. My head would hit the pillow and I would look at my wife and say “this all ends tomorrow. Tomorrow they're going to figure out I don't know what I'm doing and we're going home.” This is a business. This is not a friendship. they owe us nothing. I have kept that attitude to this day. I don't go to work thinking I've been working with Tom Cruise for 12, 13 years and I'm entitled to my position on the movie. I go to work every day saying if i'm not the right guy to make this movie they should have fired me. They should send me home today. If I can't do this i'm a liability and I'm in the way and I'm leaving. That has kept me moving forward every single day. I'm not trying to hit a target. I'm not working towards a specific movie or a start date or anything else like that. I'm working towards production, creating. I'm not worried about “what am I getting from it? When am I getting it? What is my credit?” All those things come in their own way, and the harder you try to make those things happen the more people want to stop you from getting it. The more you produce and the harder you try to get out of the room, the more people throw enticements at you to stay.

CL: What is it about this that you love? What is it about filmmaking that you love?

CM: Without question writing, which I think is infinitely harder than directing. Writing is a lot harder. With writing, it's the it's the moment of ignition. There's a part of the writing process where you're doing everything you can to get the story started and you can't do it. You don't want to do it. You want to walk away from it. And something clicks and suddenly the story is telling itself. The story is in the back of your head and it won't let you go. I'm not having to think about the movie. The movie won't let me stop thinking about it. That to me is the greatest part of writing. It's the most exciting part of writing. With directing, it's the creativity that comes from finding the emotion within a set of inert tools -- a screenplay, a lens, a light, a location, an actor, … Everything has become for me going all the way back to Usual Suspects. The Way of the Gun is a film that is doing everything it can to provide information to the audience and asking the audience to turn that information into emotion. It's asking the actors to turn that information into emotion. What I've learned is it is the director's job to create the emotional environment so that the script doesn't need to be emotional. The actors don't need to emote, the composer doesn't need to do that. All of those things become accents to what was already there when you selected the right lens, the right location, the right light, and created an emotional feeling. Finding those emotions. And the fact that you can. When you guys see Top Gun [part II], I can't wait for the world to see this movie, when you see what all of those things converging, when they really harmonize and really work, creating an emotional experience, that's to me is … Since the time I was a little child I told stories. I told stories for no other reason than to move the person I was telling it to. I'm not an auteur, I am not a visionary. I don't care if you know that I directed my movies. I don't care if you ever know my name. I care that I move you. I care that I move you, not just now, but a hundred years from now long after I'm gone. It's the only thing that interests me. Moving, engaging an audience. Ideally, the biggest audience possible.

CL: You said earlier that you had considered walking away. If you had actually put your career behind you what would you be doing now?

CM: I'd inevitably have ended up writing. I would have ended up writing books. I can't not tell stories. or, I would have become a film teacher. I would have parlayed my award for Suspects into a teaching job somewhere. Frankly, as you have noticed from my hour-long answers to questions, my filmmaking curriculum would have been a bunch of poor kids having to listen to me tell stories all day. I would have found a way to tell stories to make a living. I was just very fortunate in that I met someone who cared as much about stories as I did, at what would have been the end of my career.

CL: That's Tom Cruise?

CM: That's Tom, yes.

CL: In the beginning of your career, how did you fall into screenwriting?

CL: By accident. I never set out to be a screenwriter. I was in sixth grade. I remember very distinctly. I was 12 years old. I was sitting at my desk, writing a short story. I have no memory of ever having written a short story before that. I don't know what the story I was. I know that my teacher, we had a substitute teacher named Mrs Huber. Mrs Huber saw what I was doing and said "what are you writing?" I said "I'm writing a story" and she said "is that what you want to do when you grow up?". It never occurred to me that that was even an option, That writing was a career. I was immediately struck with the realization that yes that was what I wanted to do. I told her so and from that minute on I knew what I wanted to do with my life. I knew that I wanted to be a writer. This was a blessing and a curse. It gave me a great deal of security and certainty that not only was that something they knew what I wanted to do, but I also knew I could do it. I didn't need to run faster than people to do it. I didn't need to be able to lift great weights. I didn't have to have great aim. I didn't have to have any kind of special physical skills. I just all I needed was my brain and my hand and a pencil. At the same time, I knew from that moment on the school didn't have a thing to teach me. I knew how to read, write add subtract and multiply. I didn't need anything else that school had for me. I knew from third grade. I hated school. I knew from third grade that you didn't have to go to college, that college was optional. As soon as I discovered it was optional, that was like having four years taking off my prison sentence. I said I'm never going to college. I'm just never going to do it. I was granted a certain amount of certainty at a very young age, with absolutely no guarantees and nothing to back it up. Mrs Huber was the substitute, the actual teacher was a woman named Ms Denlinger, her name is now is Hensley, she recognized that there was something there. I was a weird kid. I was being picked on by other kids one day in class. Every kid in the class was picking on me. She said you all need to pay attention to Chris, you need to be nicer to him. He's going to be on television one day. I was so stunned when she said that. Somebody saw in me some ability that I wished for but did not know that I had. When I won my academy award she was the first person I thanked. I've never forgotten. I'm still in touch with her. I was just emailing with her yesterday. I was off as a writer and I wanted to write books. I loved writing short stories. I loved Roland Dahl and Stephen King and Ray Bradbury. I wanted to write stories like that. I went to grade school with Bryan (Singer) and Ethan Hawk and [musician] James Murphy from the LCD Soundsystem. All of us went to school together. Brandon Boyce was another one who was there. We all we had kind of a filmmaking storytelling creative. I don't even want to call us a “collective” because that sounds too organized. We just believed in each other. It just was a thing that was that was accessible to us. No one ever told us we couldn't have it. Nobody ever said you can't be a filmmaker. My parents who desperately wanted me to get some kind of decent grades and get a college education. My father was a teacher. My parents, as much as they understood that what I was wishing for was one in a trillion chance, they never discouraged me. they never said I couldn't. While they desperately did everything they could to get me to focus on school, they also never ever ever said you can't do that. You need to find some other line of work, in case that doesn't work out. That was never introduced to me as a concept. I just knew. It wasn't until years later ... Bryan and I knew each other in school. I had been in a Bryan Singer short film, Ethan had been in a Bryan Singer short film. We ran in the same circle until really my senior year in high school. After he had graduated, he was two years ahead, he came to me to develop his first couple of screenplays because he remembered the short stories that I had written in school. He remembered the acting that I did in school. I was always in the school theater, because there were lots of girls and there was no homework. Ultimately, I graduated high school. I went to Australia for a year. I worked at a boarding school which essentially meant I worked about 11 hours a week and drank a lot of beer. When I came back I went to work for a detective agency in new jersey that belonged to my uncle. I got very interested in law enforcement. Throughout that I was reconnecting with Bryan we wrote a screenplay over the phone together. I applied to the New York Police Department with a friend of mine who I'd grown up with. I had been accepted into the Academy and was about to go. Bryan called me. He had made a short film with Ethan, and Ethan had then suddenly been in Dead Poets Society. The short film got a lot of attention. Bryan called and said I have an opportunity to make a feature film for 250 [thousand] dollars and would you write the screenplay? I said sure, and he said great, I need it in two weeks. I learned how to type. That was the first time I actually ever typed a screenplay. It was only the second screenplay I wrote. I put it in the mail shipped it to California, Got my car and drove to California after it. Three months after I arrived in Los Angeles we were we were in pre-production on on our first feature film [Public Access]. That's how I got into screenwriting. You'll notice there's a theme running throughout this -- it was just kind of like I have this aspiration, I'm going to follow other interests and keep my hand in it at all times.

CL: There is a common sort of edict that you often hear, that you must you must have at least ten screenplays under your belt before you can be a screenwriter. But that doesn't seem to be true.

CM: Here's how you become a screenwriter. Get yourself a pencil and a piece of paper. You don't need a computer, you don't need final draft. Write interior [INT.], then choose any location you want, and then decide whether it's night or day. You're a screenwriter. There's no such thing as an aspiring screenwriter or an aspiring filmmaker. You're either creating or you're not creating. I'm making two Mission Impossible movies and I'm producing Top Gun [part II]. I haven't made it, I'm making it. I'm in the process of of getting where I still dream of being. You will be too. Everybody thinks there is a destination. There's not. There's a journey and you start the journey. I hate to say it the beginning of that journey is steeped in failure. If you think that you're a failure as a writer because you're failing, You're doing it wrong. The whole idea is you're supposed to be failing. You're supposed to be learning from your mistakes. You're supposed to be going through a process of trial and error. Trial by fire – the strongest steel goes through the hottest fire. Everybody is so consumed with getting to a place of success. As we talked about earlier, if you think money is success, let me tell you money can turn into failure faster than anything. If you think a hit movie is a success, I had as good an experience you can on my second feature film. My first sole writing credit and won an Academy Award. It didn't solve any problems for me. It created a lot more problems than it solved. The night I won that award was not a happy evening. Bryan and I weren't speaking to each other. I was in a miserable relationship. And more importantly, I didn't know what my next job was. That's not the case when I came up with The Usual Suspects. I was working in a copy room in a law firm in downtown Los Angeles. I was making a couple of bucks an hour, I was broke. I was miserable but I had an idea that I knew was a great idea. I had to compare the two experiences. The experience of winning an Academy Award for The Usual Suspects or coming up with the idea. I'll trade coming up with the idea every time. That's where you are now and you and it doesn't look like that because you're in it. You're not looking back on it. Just keep going, just keep doing what you're doing. Not everybody's gonna make it. Not everybody has the many, many, many components that come together. Not everybody learns. That's really the thing. It's not about whether or not you have talent. It's whether or not you learn. I'm here to tell you, I work with some very highly successful people in the business. They don't learn either. They don't learn no matter how many times you teach them. That's what this process is. It is a process of learning. It's a process of growing. It's a process wherein you you cannot grow without failure. And you need to learn to accept failure like everything else.

CL: The comments here - people are really blown away by this because this is you know this is a philosophy. I'm learning more about attitude and importance of that more so than almost anything else. I mean that really seems to be what it is that you're saying here.

CM: We choose words. I mean, look at everything that's going on in the world right now. We choose words without agreeing upon what the definition of those words really are. So you and I can be arguing about something without ever having sat down to talk about what the definition of that word is that are we even arguing about. If you and I sat down and had an argument about success and failure for an hour without ever without either of us ever saying "well, what is success? what is failure?" The fact that success and failure are interchangeable - one can very quickly turn into the other without you having even realized it. When Tom Cruise broke his ankle on Fallout, I knew that that was actually a hugely beneficial thing. When Mission Impossible shut down in Venice two days before we started shooting and they evacuated the city, I was relieved. I knew that that was a beneficial thing. Yes there were a lot of really catastrophic things that happened as a result of it, there were all things beyond my control. Suddenly things that were not in my control were in my control again. I could affect change, I could save jobs, I could do things, and keep people working, and fix other projects that needed fixing. As opposed to sitting there saying but now my life is on hold, my dream of what I'm gonna do after Mission Impossible is gonna happen two years later than, not in control of those things. I'm only in control of the things that I'm in control of that are right in front of me. When you start to look at success and failure as interchangeable ideas, you relax into life a lot more. If you need that fear, if you need the fear of failure to drive you, go for it. That's great. I get plenty of that anyway. I don't need to go looking for it. I get the fear of failure when I don't have a screenplay and I'm on my way to work and I know I don't have the pages today. If I don't come up with to something right now the whole movie stops and I'm going to lose my job. That's where my feeling fear of failure comes in. I don't worry any more how will I be regarded as a director. What kind of films will they let me make? What awards will I win? What are the critics going to think? None of those matter because in 10 years they'll change anyway. Tell me what won the Academy Award two years ago, tell me what won the Academy Award five years ago, the best picture, tell me what movie is your favorite movie, tell me your top three favorite movies, tell me the movie that makes you cry every time you watch it, and tell me if those if those movies are really the same. That's the world I'm interested in.

CL: Here's a question from MG. He's asking is there more less a similar level of pressure working on a big franchise with a huge star where the audience is already in place versus working on an original film where the story has to find and build its own audience?

CM: There is no difference in the amount of pressure on a 5 million movie like The Usual Suspects or a 180 million dollar movie like Mission Impossible. The pressure comes from different places. The pressure has different demands. For all of the luxuries that a huge budget like Mission Impossible affords you, it also has gigantic responsibilities. For all the luxuries that you don't have on a movie like The Usual Suspects, and how difficult that makes every day, and how you have to shoot for 24 hours a day just to finish your film, the burden at the box office is slightly different. No one can claim that their movie was the most difficult movie ever made. No one can say that the making of my movie was more difficult than the making of somebody else's. You can say I didn't give a damn and I chose not to try, and I didn't let the pressure bother me. But the consequences are very much the same. The Way of the Gun cost eight and a half million dollars. And it demolished my career. It demolished my career for for years and took me a long, long time to to build back. If somebody handed me that again tomorrow and said make a feature film for that amount of money, those are muscles I have not exercised in 20 years. I'd be terrified. I would be terrified. I'm much more much more frightened of that than strapping Tom Cruise to the side of an airplane. especially because I'm inside the plane, I'm not outside.

CL: Do you regret making The Way of the Gun or do you feel like it was part of your journey?

CM: It's part of my journey. For years I saw it as a bone-crushing failure. I now look at that film as a success. It's a success by that definition. The people I made the movie for discovered it they just didn't discover it on opening weekend. If I had set out to make that movie with no objective as to what that movie was going to get me down the road, if I just made that movie to make it for whomever it was intended for, that film would have been a success by our definition. That film was only a failure because I expected things of it that I actually didn't work to achieve. That it's absolutely no different than just throwing a dart at a map. I was making a movie and hoping it would be a hit so that I could parlay it into another hit. There's actually a way to go about making movies in such a way that they are. You can't guarantee a hit but … you know Roger Corman guaranteed that you can make movies without losing money. You just have to be realistic with yourself about what your ambitions are, what your budget is, who your audience is, and frugally in the in those terms. We're taught by the culture what success is by what a successful filmmaker is, by what an auteur is, by what the visionary is. So much hype is heaped on top of directors and writers and actors, and everybody thinks that the goal. That's not the goal, that's a byproduct. It's a byproduct of production. Success is a byproduct. Happiness is a byproduct of production. Instead of pursuing those things, just produce. And some of those things will come. I'm not guaranteeing all of them but some of them will. More importantly, you'll be producing.

CL: Someone here asked what advice do you have for write new writers writing action?

CM: Yes very good question. Most importantly, clarity, geography, and story – those are your big three banners you put at the top. I'm not interested in spectacle. I'm gonna come up with a big trailer idea. Those things tend to take care of themselves. When you come up with a basic concept for an action sequence, tell the story well. Write action sequences. Stories in and of themselves are character journeys. By the way, another word that we talk about and don't define, "story." What is story? - in a way that we can work with it, in a way that everybody understands what we're talking about. Because when I say plot you guys might think one thing and I think another. When we say tone you may think one thing, I think another. We talk about story -- story is an emotional journey, that's all. You're taking the audience on an emotional journey. If you want to really break it down to something, a version of story, and I'm not saying mine's right or wrong - it's what I work with, story is a series of emotional impulses designed to separate the audience from their conscious reality. What I'm trying to do is not through scenes, lines, musical notes, words - it's through impulses. instantaneous impulse-by impulse, shot-by-shot, frame-by-frame. I'm trying to involve you in my reality, and separate you from yours. I do that through engagement. By keeping you engaged by, keeping you engrossed, and by keeping you listening to what's happening in my story, and wondering what's happening next in my story, you're not thinking about yours. That's what I talk about when I talk about story. That's what I talk about when I talk about an action scene. I'm not sitting there describing this amazing shot. It's this incredible thing that's going to look great in a trailer. I'm telling a story the same way. I'm writing my screenplay the same way. I'm telling a joke at a dinner table - and if you can tell a joke you can write a screenplay. Screenwriters hate it when I say that but that's the truth. I mean screenwriting is just a very sophisticated form of setup and payoff. Telling a joke is the same kind of storytelling.

CL: jHw is the World War II bomber movie coming along? Will we get to see that in the near future? Can you tell us more about it?

CM: That movie is called The Last Mission. I still control the rights to the book. I still have the screenplay. Very recently a producer called me and asked me to read it. He said "can I show it to a production company"? I said "no". he said "why not?" Following in my philosophy, I said because here's what happens: when you do that the production company will read the script they will take three weeks to call and pass on the script, and they'll pass for a reason like well we're already working on a World War II movie or well we don't want to make a World War II movie. Those were things that were evident before they ever read the screenplay. When somebody wants to make a screenplay about World War II B-29 bombers in the Pacific, I've got the script. So you go find the people that want to make that movie and then I'll come in and solve their problem. I'm never going to send a script to them and give them the freedom to read my script and to to get a look at what they were never going to buy. That has become my philosophy. Of course, what that does is it creates an appetite for the thing that you will not show. I did an interview with Empire magazine for the Jack Reacher movie that came out in 2012. We did a we did a spoiler special on Jack Reacher. In it I talked about a project that Tom Cruise and I are talking about doing post Mission Impossible, which is a much grittier R-rated film. It's a return to something a lot edgier for tom, that tom has completely embraced. I didn't say what the movie was but within this interview I talked about it. A company that had caused me a great deal of trouble on another project, I don't need to go into it all, called immediately and said "hey, is this thing real? Because we're really interested." They didn't even need to know what it was they just knew that Tom Cruise was attached to this movie. It was a smaller movie it was rated R. We said "well, when when we're ready we'll call you". It's not to say that we are all in that position, it's not to say that we have the luxury of doing that, but it is it is a way of looking at the people that you're handing your script to, and asking yourself what are they really doing? It's very rare that people are looking for raw material to turn into a movie. What they're looking for is to attach themselves to movies that other people are making. That's why I'm talking to you. Keep writing your screenplay, keep trying to sell your screenplay, but remember that when people are reading your screenplay they're reading your writing. What you're really selling is not the screenplay it's selling you, it's selling your skills as a writer. It's telling them that you have skills that they need because they are always looking for writers that they can rip off and get those writers to write their other movies for them. Instead of looking at that as something to be exploited, you're looking at that as an opportunity to exploit. That's your way in, and the only way you hurt yourself in those things is when you make deals you can't get out of. You get emotionally attached to the work that you're doing, instead of getting emotionally attached to how well you're doing the work. That's what you need to focus on.

CL: As we wrap this up, are there questions that you wish that we had asked you? Are there things that people don't ask you that you feel we should be asking you?

CM: The only other thing I'll talk about, we touched on it early on when we were talking about dialogue, my suspicion of dialogue. Another thing is music, the way that I deal with music and film, how I work with a composer. I'm talking about this because right now we're in the process of mixing a movie, and a lot of what we're doing is mixing the music. What I've learned to do probably really only in the last couple films is to regard music and dialogue as very much one in the same. Dialogue is just as musical as as music is a language. By thinking of dialogue in musical terms, thinking of dialogue in terms of something that that conveys an emotion, rather than information, it has changed the way that I write scenes. When I find myself writing something that is purely informational, if I can't inject it with something like conflict, humor, tension, suspense, drama, especially conflict, then I know that what I'm doing is I'm writing information. Information is the death of emotion. It was the biggest lesson I learned between Rogue Nation and Fallout was how to articulate that. Somebody asked me about writing exposition and what was the secret to writing exposition. Without thinking, I said that "information is the death of emotion". Think about your dialogue as a delivery device for emotion. There's nothing less emotional than watching a character experience an emotion. What you want is the audience is experiencing an emotion through that character. That really changed the way that I wrote dialogue, the way that I wrote exposition. It also changed the way I frame shots. It's the other thing I want you thinking of when you go out with your phone after this and you're playing with lens, light, and location. Just be asking yourself is the frame that I'm setting is this pure information? Or is this emotion? You can take a picture of anything and it's just a thing. If you look through all the photos in your in your phone right now. unless you're somebody who's really enthusiastic about photography, most of us take pictures, and I'm just guilty of it as anybody, we take pictures that are not actually photographs. they're bookmarks. They're things that are meant to remind us of things that were important to us. Whether your dog or something you care about. We all take pictures of ourselves on our phones. Now very few of us actually stopped to take to consider what the emotional effect of the photograph that we're taking would have on others. When you're writing dialogue, when you're thinking about music and you're thinking about framing your shot, I want you to think about how it feels. Not what it means, but what it feels. remember the most important thing is what you mean doesn't matter in the least. The only thing that matters is what your audience feels. The sooner you start to connect empathetically and emotionally to your audience, the sooner you will be communicating with them. The same way that you'll be communicating with the camera, and the same way that you'll be communicating with the page. I think that's everything I could possibly impart.

Ramesh: I have one I have one other quick question someone asked, because this pops up a lot in discussion. How do you process notes during development?

CM: Here is the thing. I'll tell you a story. I got into a debate on social media because I said there's no such thing as a bad note. There are only bad examples. If somebody knew how to write a screenplay they wouldn't give you bad notes. The truth of the matter is every note is the same thing. It's whoever that's giving you the note, a person who can't write, saying help me to like your movie. Help me to be more engaged with your story. Of course when they give you a suggestion, they're not writers so their suggestions are patently awful most of the time. That's very frustrating because we listen to that and think they're making me write this crap. What I look at the emotion behind the note. I look at what emotion that note is searching for and I find a way to do it on my terms, instead of the terms that they are suggesting in the note. Sometimes you're just going to get a note from the head of the studio saying I want it to be like this. That's horrible and it's miserable and you got to go through with it most of the times. When you think of it in terms of take that idea and find a way to make it your own, you come up with creative solutions. When I said this on social media this guy said that "I got a really stupid note and it's undeniably the dumbest note anybody's ever given me." I said okay what was your note? He was doing a remake of Walking Tall. Walking Tall, for those of you who don't know the movie is the seventies exploitation/vigilante movie about a sheriff named Bufort Pusser who very famously had this 2x4 that he would go around beating the crap out of people with. It was this visceral fun sort of Dirty Hairy movie with a guy beating the crap out of people with a 2x4. It was a little bit of a revenge story. They killed his wife, I think. In the story there was some violence that he was responding to. He was working on the remake to Walking Tall and this executive gave him the dumbest note he'd ever received, which is he wanted him to make the 2x4 a character in the story. I said that's an excellent note. He said that's the dumbest note imaginable, because in his mind he saw Bobby the talking 2x4 that was a character in the story that spoke to Buford. I said Bufort and his wife are building a house when the villains of the movie come to kill Buford. In the process they fail to kill Buford but they burn his house to the ground and in so doing his wife is killed. Buford ends up in the hospital. When he gets out of the hospital the first thing he does is he goes to the wreckage of his burned home that was going to be where he spent the rest of his life with his wife. He pulls a 2x4 out from one of the unfinished walls with nails sticking out of it and he spends the rest of the movie beating the crap out of the people with that 2x4. Now don't you think every time you look at that 2x4 it doesn't have some meaning? Don't you think that 2x4 becomes his sidekick in the movie? He says "yeah I got to admit that's actually good." that is how you take notes. That is how you respond to a note. You look at the note and take the note in a way that makes me proud, and it fits into my storytelling philosophy. I don't have to take the note literally. Take it figuratively., take it emotionally, make it character, make it story, never make it plot. Sometimes the worst idea ever turns in to something that's pretty effective. Surprisingly, Tom Cruise wanted to take off Rebecca Ferguson's shoes. I thought that was a dumbest idea I'd ever heard and I didn't have time to deal with it. All anybody talked about after that movie came out is we love the shoes the shoes are so great. He [Tom Cruise] knows something - the truth of the matter is he understood that. What Tom said was he said when you're on a date with somebody and you've been out to a formal occasion and at the end of the night your date always takes off her shoes. She ends up carrying her shoes. She's gonna have to jump off the roof of a building. Do you really think she wants to be wearing high heel shoes when she does it? It was character, it had a flare, it had an emotion, and it was a connection between those two people in the midst of this big action scene. The shoes taught me everything. I just learned to go with it. Again, always find a way find a way to turn it into the 2x4.

CL: Ramesh, are there any other brilliant questions?

Ramesh: There was one - should new writers write for budget? Should they keep that in mind? If they want to write a huge sci-fi pic or if they want to write a huge action film should they go ahead and do that?

CM: No. If somebody tells you to write for a budget, sure and that's going to come soon enough. Write for story. right for story and character. Know write for your voice. Don't write for spectacle. Don't write for flavor of the moment, trends, whatever. Trend is happening now. by the time somebody reads your script it won't be the trend anymore. It'll be old hat you'll be accused of ripping everybody off. Just write just write for your voice and tell a story. Story and character.

CL: How do you define voice?

CM: I wish I could. You're gonna find it. Your voice is in you. What I'm talking about is you're looking for ways to tell your story the way you want to tell it. You will find your voice. it's in you. story is in you. For the directors who are out there, your style as a director is in you. You don't need to follow the style of another director. You don't need to avoid the style of another director. You don't need to say "I don't want to do that because this other director is doing it". You can't be like another director, no matter how hard you try. You can be kind of like, you can resemble but it's always going to have your DNA. The same way that you can't not be like certain directors. People enough people accuse me of ripping off enough people, and they've never caught me for who I'm really ripping off. Because the people I'm stealing from, they're they're not filmmakers like I am. My DNA affects what I did and it's that much different. I'm similar to other filmmakers because I have similar tastes and I have similar ideas, not because I'm trying to ape somebody. All you need to focus on is connecting with the ball. The hardest thing you can do swinging a [bat in] baseball, swinging a golf club, the hardest thing you can do is connect with the ball. So many complicated pieces that go into swinging a a baseball bat, or a golf club, or a tennis racket, and connecting perfectly with the ball. Don't worry about where the ball is going. You focus on execution and not on results and you'll find your voice.

CL: Well I cannot thank you enough for taking all of this time to speak to our constituents here on The Inside Pitch. Let's all in some silent way sending out good vibes to Christopher McQuarrie for taking the time out today. So thank you. Thank everybody for tuning in. We really appreciate Chris. Again, thank you so so much.

CM: My pleasure.