Showing posts with label scifi. Show all posts
Showing posts with label scifi. Show all posts

2025-02-19

Awesome Sauce

Awesome Sauce is a novelette in a story world I call the Avatar Academy universe.

Logline: When their planet faces an energy crisis, a team of flamboyant Venusians use avatar technology to infiltrate Earth and steal our trash, leading to hilarious encounters with Baltimore mobsters and a surprising family reunion.

This image was generated by Gemini (google's AI).

Summary: The Venusians, a secretive underground alien race with a love for spandex, face an energy crisis that threatens their luxurious lifestyle. Their solution? Earth's abundant plastic trash. They launch the audacious "Venusian Environmental Avatar Teleportation Trash 2.0" (VEATT 2.0) plan, using avatar technology to infiltrate Earth and steal plastic. Bevers Sonnof, a hapless but enthusiastic Venusian, takes control of the fearsome El Toro, an enforcer for Victor the Vicious, a Baltimore mob boss. As Bevers searches for plastic and his long-lost father, chaos ensues, involving wood-chippers, surprise parties, and a healthy dose of "awesome sauce." Meanwhile, a team of Venusian trainees uncovers a massive plastic-tracking network called P.L.A.S.T.I.C., leading to a daring heist with interplanetary implications.

Here's an image of what the underground Observation Facility on Venus might look:

I managed to get it onto amazon using publishdrive, so it's now available at amazon as a kindle ebook. (But you can also buy it as a large print novelette as well.)

Here's the book cover:

The process for writing this was different. I had already written a feature length screenplay version of this, one that had been out for reader's notes and had been revised many times. Now I want a prose version (a detailed "screenplay treatment" as the terminology goes). I should point out that I've done this process many times for many other screenplays I've written. I find it hlpes me "see" the overall plot better than a detailed outline.

This time, I tried something different. This time, to convert to the story form, I used chatGPT, Gemini, and claude to help "translate" the screenplay one scene at a time into prose. (This topic has been discussed before on the internet and this process seems to be best at the current state of AI models.) Building a good prompt for this is a whole blog post in itself, but in each case I told the AI to not change any of the dialogue used in the screenplay. Not surprisingly, the response from these AI models was "off" in many cases (that it, the story line was modified somehow, even if the dialogue did stay the same). This required a lot of proofreading and rewriting on my part, probably more work than simply "translating" the screenplay into prose by myself. More work, true, but I enjoyed the interactive process. These AI models are very polite, even when they aren't doing exactly what you want them to! I also enjoyed the fresh perspective and often the terminology it used was better than my own. It's hard for me to regard this as a collaboration, as opposed to asking a very smart screenwriting expert a large number of questions about my screenplay and then compiling and using the "notes" in my next version. That's the story of how Awesome sauce arose!

I have other screenplays in the VEATT universe and so hopefully there will be more stories like this soon.

2024-01-08

Richard Matheson and "The man who invented the world" (1954)

Richard Matheson (1923-2013) is one of the most well-known of modern American writers. Matheson wrote novels and short stories in the genres science fiction, horror, fantasy, and suspense.
Richard Matheson in 2008 (age 85), from wikipedia

Many of his stories were adapted for film, such as "Twilight Zone" TV episodes (like "Nightmare at 20,000 Feet"), Steven Spielberg's "Duel" (1971) was based on his short story of the same title, "The Last Man on Earth" (1964) (two later adaptations were "The Omega Man" (1971) and "I Am Legend" (2007)), and "Legend of Hell House" (1973), based on his novel "Hell House" (1971).

Matheson also published, in 1954, a short screenplay, "The man who invented the world", which has lapsed into the public domain. In case anyone want to stage it as a play or shoot it as a short, I typed up the screenplay in standard format and posted it here: pdf, fountain. Download and best of luck! (For typos, please email me at fablestofilm@gmail.com.)

2020-10-21

All the children were blue (short story 29)

  Over a year ago, as an exercise, I started writing one short story a week. This was something Harlan Ellison (I think) suggested to one of his fans, his reasoning being "You can't write 52 bad short stories in a row." I'm not sure about that, but here's one of those stories.


*
A blue-colored little girl Lena, who’s tall for a 10 year old, enters a rusty metal building with Bee-tou, a short stocky Blue who always wore a knitted cap even when it was hot. Their clothes are shabby, torn, and patched, in dark reds, browns, greens and blues. The structure is made of corrigated metal shaped like a half-cylinder on it's side. Lena thought it could have once stored farm equipment or maybe it was once a hanger for a prop plane. It had electricity, but not much. Enought to heat one small section, and to power dim lights here and there. Mostly, it stored boxes and was a place for the Blues to meet the Wise Man. The Wise Man, looked at them as they approached the heated section he sat in. His eyes we impassionate, but he greeted them with a warm smile. This made Lena more nervous but Bee-tou smiled back. “Please make yourself comfortable,” Wise Man said, pointing to a sofa and chair close to him with cushions. Wise Man gets some bottles out of a cooler. He gives one to Bee-tou, “Call me Woosa. You at the protector Bee-tou?” Lena took the chair and Bee-tou takes the sofa. Bee-tou nods. “Thank you.” As he gave Lena a bottle he asked, “So you are Lena, the one with the bad dreams?” Lena nods nervously and sets her bottle down. Bee-tou drinks and says “She can be shy. That’s why I came with her.” “Of course, you are her protector.” “Not the only one. The others are outside.” “Of course” Woosa says and smirks at the door. “She calls them visions, not dreams,” Bee-tou says with a corrective tone. “Do they scare you?” Wise Man asks Lena. She nods and looks away. “Well, relax, you’re safe here. These dreams are normal. Your brain processes the stress and strain of everyday life. It’s not natural for our kind to live like this, is it? Scrounging for food, fuel, electricity. Keeping eyes peeled for Reds. We go into survival mode. Therefore, when you sleep, your dreams carry these scary, stressful images. Nothing to worry about. Would you like to talk about them?” Lena shakes her head. “I understand. Has she told you about them?” Wise asks Bee-tou. “A little. They involve Red attacks,” Bee-tou. “Exactly my point. When was the last time we fought the Reds?” “Months ago,” Bee-tou says. “Was Lena scared?” “Oh, yes.” “It’s quite possible the Reds now want peace. We don’t know. But, in any case, that explains it. Lena was scared in the Red attack and her subcounscious processes that fear as dreaming these scary visions during her sleep. Basic psychology, right?” Woosa smiles and nods to them both. Woosa gets a small pill bottle and hands it to Lena. “Take these for a few nights. They will help you sleep.” Lena takes the bottle. “Thank you,” Bee-tou says. He looks to Lena. “Ready?” Lena nods and gets up. “Thank you,” she says shyly. “Absolutely my pleasure,” Woosa says with a smile, watching them walk out. As they shut the door he turns Red and his smile vanishes.


*
Lena and Bee-tou walk a path between crumbling buildings and junk. large and small. Abandoned relics, tossed aside by the Elders just as they did with their children. They look around then, seeing no one, enter the rear door of a rusty car parked too close to a long crumbling brick building. Lena goes in first, and slides over the vinyl seats, then Bee-tou. He shuts the door behind them. It's quiet and, because the windows are tinted, darker. Then they open the door on the other side, which doubles as a hatch into the building. They are greeted by another stocky Blue, who nods and helps Lena step out into the building. It’s clean and on the other side, there’s a well-lit space with lots of little Blue girls paired with their stocky Blue protectors, all dressed in the same drab colors. As Lena and Bee-tou approach them, one Blue girl asks “How did it go?” “He said not to worry,” Bee-tou says. “He gave me these,” Lena says, handing the bottle to the smallest Blue girl. Deesha. Deesha tries to open it but can’t. She looks to her protector, Gee-doo, who takes it, opens it and hands it back to her. Deesha sniffs it, shakes her head at Lena, then tosses the bottle in the trash. They all look to Lena with an unspoken question. Lena looks at each one of the little Blue girls then says, “I know what I saw, call it a dream or a vision, whatever you want. We need to be on alert.” Each of the Blue protectors looks at their girl with concern. “I’m going to make a food run. We sleep here tonight and move at first light,” Bee-tou says.


*
That night, they are all sleeping soundly, even Lena and, not far away, Bee-tou. Lena’s head jerks and her eyes open. She gets up, the sound waking Bee-tou, who watches her carefully. Lena quietly tip-toes to each of the little Blue girls, touching each one on the shoulder. They wake when touched, look at Lena, and nod. Bee-tou coughs. All the Blue protectors’ eyes open at the sound. They look to Bee-tou, then to Lena. Bee-tou points to the exit, a hole in the wall leading to a car door. They all quietly head to the exit.


*
Outside, it's dark, the way lit by the flashlights held by the protectors. They walk in single file along a path between junk and abandoned buildings. Lena turns to look behinds them. The sky, once dark blue, starts to turn red, like a strangely colored sunrise. “We need to run,” Lena says. They run reaching a large parking lot, where they spread out and run as fast as their small legs can go. The Protectors stay between the girls and the Reds in the sky behind them. Once in a while, a couple of stray Blues boys come out of the shadows to join them running. They fall behind, whether by intention of lack of speed. The Reds are visible in the distance behind them. The closest Red, flying at the height of a small building, throws a red translucent small cloud at a Blue stray. He collapses in the parking lot, dies and turns Red. The Protectors see this and re-organize to keeps themselves between the Reds and the little blue girl they are in charge of. Bee-tou yells at little Lena, “Hurry.” They speed up as fast as they can. Another Blue stray dies in a red cloud. Bee-tou yells at even louder, “Hurry.” Three Blue strays die in red clouds. As far as the eye can see, there are Reds flying towards them, a rag-tag bunch of scared little Blue kids. Now Bee-tou is loudly yelling ‘Hurry”, so loud Lena starts to cry. The little blue girls look to Lena, reaching out to her, all the girls touching Lena. Lena stops running and, sobbing, she drops to one knee. She raises her head to the sky and screams a long high-pitched scream. The girls hold each other tighter. The Blue Protectors surround all the girls, facing outward towards the approaching Reds. As the Reds, en mass, descend for their final attack, a translucent blue cloud condenses and grows around the girls, spreading to the Blue Protectors. They look at each other mystified and Lena's scream continues impossibly long and loud. The cloud condenses and grows and expands wider and wider. The Reds throw red clouds at it, which simply dissolve into mist and fade away. Each little girl starts to scream, joining in the terrible scream coming from Lena. As each one starts to scream, the blue cloud grows. Finally, Deesha too screams and the blue cloud explodes to infinity. As the edge of the massive blue cloud passes through each Red, they turn Blue and drop from the sky to the ground. For what seems like hours, the sky rains Reds, who drop to the ground and turn into a Blue adult. Asleep at first, one by one they wake and look around at their new world. The little blue girls vomit when it’s over. Then they all collapse in exhaustion. Eventually, they get up eventually, leave their Protectors. They know they must search for their parents, who once abandoned them and became Red. Their parents are somewhere out there, among the fallen.

2020-09-05

On Albert Bester's "The Demolished Man"

I was motivated to read this novel after hearing a story by David Mamet in his masterclass on writing. I described the story in my blog post on his class.

Alfred Bester (1913-1987) wrote science fiction, but also wrote for TV, radio, and comic books. He was an editor for a travel magazine for many years. In 1936 he married Rolly Bester, the actress who played the first Lois Lane on the radio show Adventures of Superman.

Among his many short stories and novels, Bester is perhaps best known for The Demolition Man (1952) and The Stars My Destination (1956), both serialized in Galaxy magazine. The 1952 novel won the first ever Hugo Award given at the 11th World Science Fiction Convention.

I'm not a lawyer but here is some information which suggests both of these novels are in the public domain. The Internet Archive has The Demolished Man, scanned from it's publication in Galaxy, (part 1, part 2, and part 3, and likewise for the 1956 novel). While there is an indication that Bester renewed the copyright (see this search item for the 1952 novel, and this item for the 1956 novel), the copyright page of Galaxy indicates that Galaxy owned the copyright and so it seems to me, as a non-lawyer, it is Galaxy that had to renew it. (I base my reasoning on the section "Who May Claim Renewal" in this copyright.gov pdf.)

I've typed all of The Demolished Man into latex, including the original artwork, for fun and to learn Bester's writing style by forcing myself to pay attention to the details. A really terrific novel by an excellent writer.

2020-06-09

You don't know Jack (short story 18)

Over a year ago, as an exercise, I started writing one short story a week. This was something Harlan Ellison (I think) suggested to one of his fans, his reasoning being "You can't write 52 bad short stories in a row." I'm not sure about that, but here's one of those stories.

This story was inspired by the Jack in the Beanstalk fable.

*

Sometime in the not-too-distant future.

In a typical suburban neighborhood, 30-year old Molly Spriggins lays on the couch in her living room with a damp cloth on her head, wearing slippers, loose-fitting clothes and a sweater. Her 14-year old son Jack, wearing jeans and a t-shirt that says "Code Monkey," sits on the couch by her feet while he types on a laptop. Except for an Einstein poster, several Rubik's cubes, and stacks of books on tables, the room is sparsely furnished.

Jack surfs to news.com and reads an article online.

Chairman and CEO Lawrence Giant of MegaPharma announces a free distribution of their cancer drug freelapine via a lottery system. "Normally, this drug is prohibitively expensive for low-income patients, but with these free doses, we hope to save even more lives," Lawrence Giant says.

"Mom, did you hear you get a year of this cancer drug for free if you are selected by the MegaPharma lottery system?" Jack asks.

"Forget the lottery. I’m more worried about affording new brakes for the car," she says.

"These are the last two." Jack brings her two pills and a glass of water. "Something will pop up. We’ll be okay."

``If I sell the car, I can afford more meds."

"I think Mrs Biggs is looking for a car. She’s the lady who ran the NSA summer computer camp."

"Give her a call."

Jack picks up the portable phone on the table, dials a number, listens for a dial tone, and punches in an extra code before speaking. "Mrs Biggs, this is Jack. ... No, she’s not doing well ..." Jack says as he walks to his bedroom, continuing his phone conversation.

*

Jack enters the living room smiling and holding a USB stick in his hand.


 Molly's lying down on couch holding a photo. Her face is white and her eyes are puffy. "Do you remember this photo, Jack?" Jack walks over and kneels down near his Mom. "You were seven. You were so proud of your new bike. What ever happened to it?" she asks.

"Remember the ad 'Used bike for sale by owner. Lightweight chromoly frame.', Mom? You and Dad divorced that week. He sold the bike." Jack looks down and fiddles with the USB stick in his hand.

"I didn't about that. I'm sorry. A lot of things ere going on then," she says.

"Don't worry about it."

"Did you sell the car? What do you have there?" she asks.

"Some scripts, some computer programs. These are almost like magic, so rad."

"Can you magically turn that program into money?"

"No. These'll help me get to places on the internet I need to go."

"Oh Jack, what have you done? You spend too much time already on the internet. Now you’ve thrown away the only thing of value I owned. Go to your room, leave me alone."

Jack leaves, dejected.

*

The MegaPharma building is a concrete and steel monstrosity with a giant MR logo on the side of the top floor. CEO Lawrence Grant, dressed in an expensive suit, is alone, looking at his computer screen in his office. His phone rings. He snaps it up.

"Mr Chen! How are you?" Grant taps nervously with his pen. "No, that was not our agreement and you know it. We agreed to the price-fixing scheme in those markets provided you undercut Fipzer’s and Smerck’s prices world-wide in penicillin."

Jill, a high-school intern wearing a cute dress and blouse, enters his office and places some folders on his desk. "The folders you requested, Mr Grant." Grant ignores her but looks at the folders. Jill leaves.

"No, I don’t give one rat’s ass how you do it. ... What? You want IPO stock? Not for sale. Cancer drugs? I’ll rig the lottery. okay? Two million. Yep. Bye."

*

Jack's bedroom is a computer nerd's paradise. "The Matrix" posters, robot and computer parts, an unused monitor and a laptop decorate the space. Jack enters, ignores all this and logs into his laptop. His cell buzzes with a text from his friend Jill.

Jill: Rumor is megapharma rigs their lottery.

Jack types a reply.

Jack: How do you know that?

There's no reply. He plugs the "magic" USB stick into his laptop they types some more. He reads on the screen:

"Welcome to the megapharma.com internet site. Violators will be punished to the fullest extent of the law."

"Yada yada yada," Jack says. He starts up Freecell, a solitaire card game, running on the megapharma.com server. It opens in a new pop-up window with cards displayed in several stacks. He clicks on the "Help" tab and, instead of a help drop-down menu, a new white on back window with a command-line interface opens. He types some commands in the interface.

Jack picks up his cellphone and dials a number, "Jill, can you talk?"

Jill sits in her cubical in the MegaPharma Corporate HQ. "Not now, I’m at work. I'll call you later."

"Wait, where did you hear that rumor?"

"Later. How's your Mom?"

"Not good. On you way home, can you pick up her cancer pills at the pharmacy and drop them off?"

Sure, my shift's over soon."

"Thanks, see you soon." Jack hangs up.

On his laptop, a pop-up window asks

"Chat with admin? Click: yes or no."

"What the hell." Jack clicks on yes.

Chat client: Who are you?

Jack: U 1st.

Chat client: Computer security at megamed.com. Your intrusion has been logged.

Jack: log it d00d

Chat client: You are playing free-cell. That is unauthorized. What is your employee ID?

Jack: I'm Jack Schitt. You really don’t know me?

Jack laughs. "I crack myself up."

Chat client: Your session is terminated.

The chat session closes and Jack’s login is cut off.

"I'm going to guess Lawrence Giant runs his own domain. I’ve got one more script." Jack types on his laptop again. With a DING! a message pops up on his screen.

"Welcome to the giant.megapharma.com intranet site. Violators will be punished to the fullest extent of the law."
"I’m just going to wget it all," Jack says. He types more on his laptop.

Jack hears his Mom groan in pain. Jack looks at the progress bar on his laptop screen: 2%. He stands up and goes to the living room.


*

Ignoring his expansive view of the city skyline, Giant frowns at his computer screen, punching his keyboard with his fingers in frustration. He picks up the phone on his desk and punches in a number. "Computer security? What the hell is going on? My computer's dead. ... You `have him?' Who is `him?' ... You know who did this? Meet me in the parking lot. I want to see this man arrested with my own eyes," Giant says.


*

Mom lies on couch. Jack enters. "Feeling any better, Mom?"

She reaches out towards the table. "My pills." Jack hands her a bottle and a glass of water.

"I’m getting you more medicine soon. You're going to be okay."

"Jack, if I don’t make it I want you to make up with your father."

"No."

"Don't argue. He'll give you a good life."

"You'll make it."

"You talked about going somewhere ... on the internet."

"I’m back. It's be finished soon." Jack holds her hand.

"What's are you talking --" BANG, BANG. There is a loud knocking at the door. "Who could that be?"

Jack goes over and opens the door. Giant and a uniformed MegaPharma security officer barge in.

"What do you want?" Molly asks.

Giant points at Jack. "Jack! I am very disappointed in you."

"Well Dad, maybe you can imagine how I feel," Jack snaps back.

"Don’t you talk to me like that!" Grant yells.

"Larry, get out of my house!" She tries to get up, coughs.

"Molly, I'm warning you, back off." Grant points to Jack. "Arrest him!" Giant barks to his security officer.

"No, stop. Both of you, get out!" Molly says.

"Mom, you need to lie down. I’ll get your medicine."

"You can’t afford medicine for her. Admit it, you stole it!" Giant says.

"How does someone become like you? I want to know so it never happens to me," Jack yells.

"Your Mother's turned you against me. It's all her fault."

"The lottery you rigged is her fault too, I suppose," Jack says.

Giant turns to his security man. "Don't just stand there, arrest them both!"

BANG, BANG! There is another knock. "Oh, what now? Come in!" Molly yells.

Mrs Biggs, a middle-aged woman in a business suit, enters. She flashes a badge, mostly for the benefit of the MegaPharma security officer. "Thank you, Mrs Spriggins. My name is Biggs, NSA security. Who are you?"

"Lawrence Giant, CEO of MegaPharma --"

"Not you. I recognize you, Mr Giant, I meant you," Mrs Biggs says, looking at the security officer.

"This is Mr Kanfield, the head of security at MegaPharma," Giant says.

Biggs nods at them and turns to face Jack. "Jack, I believe you have something for me."

"It’s in my room."

"Get it. And the stick."

Jack goes to his room, sees the progress bar is now at 100%. He picks up the laptop, with the USB stick still inserted into it.

"You want to arrest your own son, Larry?" Molly asks Giant.

"Oh, like everything is my fault!"

"You really don’t know Jack, do you?"

Jack returns with his laptop. Giant indicates to his security man to take the laptop. Biggs elbows them both aside and Jack hands the laptop to her. "I didn’t mess with the stick."

"Still with the original scripts, not transferred or copied anywhere?" Biggs asks.

Jack nods. "Correct."

"Good. Thank you Jack. That is the evidence we need. We’ll handle it from here."

"Jack, what is going on?" Molly asks.

Biggs walks a few steps to address Giant and his security man. Biggs flashes a phony smile at Giant. "Mr Giant, I've heard so much about you!" Giant beams and self-consciously adjusts his suit and tie. "Could I look at your ID?" Mrs Biggs asks.

"I’m happy to oblige," Giants says. Giant fishes out his ID with a smile and hands it to Biggs. Giant is about to say something but Biggs interrupts him. "And yours, officer?" Biggs asks the MegaPharma security officer. She checks them both carefully and returns them with a smile.

"Excuse me, Agent, or Mrs Biggs, we were going to arrest this young man for computer intrusion --" Giant says.

Biggs smirks and pulls out her cellphone and punches a number. "When you say 'We', you mean you two?"

Giant nods.

"They’re here. ... Understood," Biggs says into her cell phone. She hangs up and pockets it.

"Well, is someone coming to make an arrest?" Giant asks.

"Be patient, an arrest warrant has been issued," Biggs says.

Giant faces his security officer. "It’s about time." His nervous security officer wipes a bead of sweat from his brow. Biggs walks to the door frame and turns.

Giant looks sternly at Jack. "Jack, did you hear that? Arrest warrants are issued. The long arm of the law is about to teach you a lesson the hard way. Next time I see you and you Mom --"

Wearing an FBI windbreaker, an FBI agent comes in the front door, with a piece of paper. He enters but does not knock. "Agent Thompson," he says as he enters.

Biggs nods to Giant. "Mr Giant, you are under arrest for corporate fraud."

Giant points at Jack. "What, me?! What about him?"

The FBI agent cuffs Giant’s arms behind him. "You means, Agent Spriggins?" As he leads Giant out the front door, he says rhetorically "You really don’t know Jack, do you?"

Jill comes to the front door. She knocks politely and waits at the door. "Come in, Jill dear," Molly says, then starts a coughing fit..

"Hi Jill," Jack says. Molly stops coughing. Jill walks over and kisses Jack’s Mom hello.

"I have the medicine," Jill says. Jill gives Molly a bottle of water and a pill bottle. Then Jill fusses with Molly's blanket and pillow.

"You must be a very proud Mom, Mrs Spriggins. Here." Biggs hands Molly a set of car keys. "Jack told me you were ill and it needed repair," Biggs says.

"Oh my! Jack never told me.... " Molly says, almost in tears.

"Well. you know Jack ..." Mrs Biggs says with a smile.

2020-03-24

Phobos (short story 7)

This is similar to a short story "Aboard the Relief" I wrote about 8 years ago. Like it, this story is inspired by Anton Chekov's “Gusev”, but this is more of a scifi morality tale on over-privatization.

Phobos

There's no day or night in the Phobos Infirmary, a privatized hospital servicing wounded warriors returning home from overseas. They’re deep underground, off the grid.

“These pre-fab structures are cheap. One day we’ll all die when the ceilings collapse,” a heavily medicated patient says. She was a wounded soldier the others called D, named for her bunk designation.

A group of soldiers at a rusty old table play cards. A fidgety one asks, “We’re on a spaceship in the vacuum of space. How would a vacuum implode?” He dresses himself in layers of dirty rags and everyone knows he’s not quite right in the head. Most ignored him, but D always tries to be nice to everyone. “We’re underground, N, not in space,” D says gently.

“The ceilings collapsed on me in Camp Enterprise, but that was from an earthquake tremor,” says Y, holding his broken arm gingerly.

“Make your bets,” J says. She’s the dealer. Big and sweaty, she never takes guff from anyone.

Y tosses two credits on the empty bunk serving as a card table. The other players ante up and play their hand. In the end, Y loses his hand and says “I’m out.” Y leaves to lie on his bunk. N also gives up. “I’m tired now.” He puts his cards down and leaves to lie on his bunk. J gathers N’s and Y’s cards, and shuffles them with the others.

“A yeoman from the Winnefeld told me they had hit a huge asteroid and knocked a hole in her side.” N says. Everyone but D ignores him. D just looks over at him, more out of concern than to acknowledge the statement. An older soldier the other patients knew as S watched them silently. N raised himself a little in his bunk and said in a whisper, “Can you hear me, Mom? A soldier told me that their ship ran into an enormous asteroid and knocked a hole in her side.” S is motionless, as if she had not heard. And once more there is silence on the ward.

The ward’s fans pulsed a heartbeat hum that their ears were long accustomed. Except for that, everything’s wrapped in sleep and silence. The three patients who had played cards for hours had quit and are now lying in their bunks falling sleep.

“The AC has broken . . . ” says N, wiping his brow. This time S coughs and answers irritably: “You talk of a ship colliding with an asteroid,” she paused for a breath, “and now you say the AC is broken? Do you believe everything people say?”

“That’s what people say.” N can’t see anything to be angry about. What's wrong with his story about the rock or in his saying that the AC had broken? He presses the plunger on his packet of pain meds. He knows it's empty but does it in the hope it will make him feel better anyway. N thinks for a long time of a rock growing as big as a planet, crashing into another planet, then that planet crashing into an even bigger planet, ad infinitum. Then he daydreams of his birthplace, where he returned after five years of service. He remembers the great ocean whose shore was covered with fresh snow. On the coast of the ocean was his small town. From the fifth house down the street facing the sea came his brother Blue in a snow- runner; behind him sat N’s little nieces Violet, in large felt boots, and Aqua, in bright plastic boots. Blue is smiling happily while driving through the newly fallen snow. Violet laughs, and Aqua’s face is hidden - she is well wrapped up. “The children will catch cold ...” N says under his breath, smiling.

S coughs loudly. breaking the thread of N’s thoughts. Instead of the sea, suddenly he saw his young mother seated, reading to him as a little boy while he played with his childhood toy trains and the train went round and round by themselves. He's glad he saw his nieces. “I saw them, Mother!” he mutters, and opens his eyes. Seeing his sick mother asleep in her bunk, feels around in the darkness for water. His stomach hurts. He drinks and then lays down again. Once more he sees the trains, its billowing black smoke, clouds of it, going around in circles.

Suddenly S speaks up. “I’ll tell you a story that will make you laugh.” She took a few breaths and then said to anyone who would listen: “Do you know how naive I am?” N looks at his mom. “Complain - you are a bitch, squashed like a bug. I am afraid of nothing and fear nobody, but I’m so naive, it’s funny. For me to think my complaints will make a difference is quite a laugh.”

“No, it’s not funny,” N said softly, almost to himself.

“What happened to you?” T asks S. But S tires easily and needs to take a few breaths. “Yes, S, tell us what happened” says V. Then S coughs and simply says, “When I die, there will be no one to stand up to the injustice.” She collapses back on her bunk, exhausted. N stopped listening to her. He knows she'll never tell them what happened.

*

Through the darkness T slowly to distinguishes the patient in the bunk S. He sees her sleeping in a sitting position, for if she lay down she couldn't breathe. Her skin was grey and clammy, but her features were striking, once beautiful. She's losing strength through her illness and the suffocating heat. She breathes heavily and sometimes mutters to herself. When she notices her son looking at her, she turns toward him and says in a hoarse whisper: “Are you now beginning to understand? . . . Forget the past . . . Try to understand the here and now.”

“Understand what?” N asks, too weak to try to argue.

“Why we, instead of being kept in a proper hospital, should be here, where the heat is stifling, and stinking. Now it is all clear to me. Do you see it? There's nothing broken. They turned up this heat intentionally. The doctors ordered us here to get rid of us. They got tired of all the trouble we gave them. You are no good to them; no longer being of the warrior class. You only give a lot of trouble, but you are just cattle, and there is no difficulty in getting rid of cattle,” she says with conviction. She paused to take a few breaths and said, “They have no conscience and no humanity.”

“The officers will find out,” N argues. “They will save us.”

“They won’t. A few sick enlisteds won’t be noticed.”

N can’t make out what his mother's talking about. “I’m not that sick - it’s just that I caught a chill.”

“They are banking on the fact that you can’t last. . . . And that’s all the return you get for faithful service?” S looks very angry, and summons the energy to say “How they treat you – why isn’t there a public outcry?”

Silence falls on everyone. It's so hot, N can hardly breathe. He wants a drink, but the water is too warm and oily. Once more N dreams of the icy sea, the snowy village. Violet laughs, and that fool of a little girl Aqua opens her fur coat, and stretches out her feet. “Look,” she says, “my felt boots are new.” “You’re almost six years old and still you has no sense!” says N. “Instead of showing your boots off, why don’t you bring some water to your uncle? If you do, I’ll give you a present.” Then comes Blue, with his hunting rifle on his shoulder, and there's the train and the black smoke . . . .

Suddenly, something strange happens to the soldier playing cards they call P. P calls “ace of diamonds,” drops his cards, then lurches and looks round with empty eyes. “In a moment,” P says and collapses onto the floor. They're at a loss. T shouts at P but he makes no reply. “Are you okay?” asks T. “Perhaps we’d better call the doctor, eh? Drink some water, P. Here, have a sip.”

“What’s the use?” shouts N angrily. “Don’t you see?”

“What?” says T.

“What?!” cries N. “He’s dead, that’s what! Don’t you see?”

*

J and some other soldiers drag P to a distant corner where the med techs will collect him. Then they begin to play cards again. S is propped up in her bunk watching, and some others squat uncomfortably on the floor. Y has his right arm in a sling and his wrist tightly bandaged so that he had to hold the cards in his left hand or in the crook of his elbow.

“Tell me about being a cook,” S says to N.

“You get up in the morning, plan the meals for the day, make sure there’s plenty of coffee and eggs for breakfast, and then there is nothing to do until lunch. I could pray or read books. It was a good life,” N says.

“Plan meals? Plans don’t matter,” S snaps.

“If you follow orders then no one harms you. For five years now I’ve never been in the brig and I’ve only been to court once.”


“What was that for?” Seven asks, not looking up from his cards.

“Fighting. The contractors started it. I defended myself and the court ruled self-defense.”

She wanted to say something but S is completely exhausted and has to shut her eyes. Her head falls back and then flops forward onto her chest. She tries to lie down, but in vain, because she can't breathe. “And why did you go for them?” S asks finally.

“I told you they started it,” N snaps. First, T looks at N. He never takes that tone with his mom. Maybe, they wonder, there's something wrong with him. Then T looks at S and sees a tear run down her cheek before she turns way.

N sips some warm water and thought of his fight in the kitchen that day with the contractors. He was good with knives so when he was appointed as cook, he remembers thinking that it was somehow appropriate. He remembers he hadn't panicked when he was first cut but to focus on the fight. He gave worst than he got, and he dozed off remembering how his knife blade stayed sharp and never broke and how the handle never slipped in his hand despite all the blood. Finally, S falls asleep and so does N, and it seems that all the world was asleep.

Two days pass. Now, S no longer sat up, but lay full length; her eyes are closed and her face seems thinner than ever.

“Mother!” calls N. With all her strength, S opens her eyes and moves her lips. “Are you okay?” he asks. “It’s nothing,” answers S, breathing heavily and looking away. “It’s better now. I’m much better. You see I can lie down now. If you see Blue and his girls, tell them I’m okay and not to worry.”

The patient’s ward was still stifling and hot. It was not only hard to speak but even hard to concentrate enough to listen. So N clasps his knees, leans his head on them and dreams of Blue and himself as children playing in the snow. He's driving a snow-runner, with Blue behind him, riding fast and Blue's yelling to slow down but N knows he he didn’t really mean it. The cold wind slaps you in the face, freezes your nose and cuts your hands. The clumps of snow fall down your neck. Smiling, N laughs out loud thinking of the time when Blue ran hard into a snow-drift, getting snow on his face! A long time passes on the ward in silence, but N notices nothing as he sits dreaming of the snow.


*


He hears someone coming into the ward, and some voices, but five minutes pass and all was still.

“May she rest in peace!” says T. “She was a tough woman.”

“What?” asks N.

“She’s dead. She has just been taken upstairs. She suffered much. She deserved to die in a better place, but at least her suffering is over now.”

N tries to sit up in his bunk but fell back, exhausted. T sits down on N’s bunk and says in a soft tone: “You won’t live much longer either.”

“Did the doctor tell you that?” asks N.

“No one told me, but I can see it. You can always tell when a man is going to die soon. I’m not saying this to make you feel bad, but if you have any possessions, you had better give it to the senior med tech.”

“I have not written my brother back home,” says N. “I shall die and he will never know about mother.”

“Your family will know,” says T. “When you die they will report your cause of death to your nearest family member and they will give your effects, and those of your mother’s, to Army headquarters, and then they will send them to your family.”

This conversation only serves to make N unhappy. He alreadt knew what the procedures were. He drinks oily, warm water and sucked in a breath of the hot air. He tries to think of his home and the snow, but can't summon the memories. He's too sad and tired.

“They are going to bury your mom on the surface,” says T.

“Yes. That’s the way they do it.”

“There is no love here, underground,” says T.

“On the surface the family can go to the grave and weep over it, I guess,” says N.

“Aren’t you afraid to die too?” asks T.

“Yes. I have a brother at home, and his family, and I will miss them. But I am very tired now, just let me sleep a little bit,” N says. N lays down in his bunk and he he falls into a deep sleep.

After some time passes, two med tech come down and carry his body out of the ward. N is placed in a capsule, which looks like a casket, rectangular and black. Round him stands T and D, both at attention, saluting the casket. “May he rest in peace, always, now and forever,” says D.

The two med techs wheel his capsule into an elevator, press a button and the elevator doors close and N travels up many floors, far away from the Phobos. Soon his capsule joins his mother’s and together they are buried in the snow, not far from a small town on the coast of a beautiful, cold ocean. Back to where he was born.

2020-03-13

Vicious Circle (short story 5)

Inspired by A. Chekov's Perpetuum Mobile


An elderly government physician Lee Bevers, who had entered the civil service even before World War 3, and XKV, his emotibot who had taken a melancholy turn, are on their way to an autopsy. They're cruising at low altitude along a scenic route to their next appointment. Even with enhanced night-vision, the moon-lit winter night casts dark shadows and the blue snow was gently swirling down.
On the snow planet, Alderan-Taygeta.
Licenced CC SA 3.0 (screen grab from Sintel by flickr's Futurilla


“It’s vile, this planet!” Bevers says. “There’s no civilization, ‘bots everywhere you turn, and nothing but fowl weather! To think that this is a United Worlds territory. The snow ... the snow! As though it were being paid to pour on us. Go faster XKV or I’ll scrap you for parts, you giant tin can!”

A ‘bot craft flew by them going in the opposite direction. XKV beeped at them in a friendly way. “I am programmed to mimic emotions, but I do not feel this weather as you do. I do feel a sense of dread, as though we or someone close to us may die at any time,” the ‘bot says.

“You ought to be feeling ashamed, talking like an old woman, that’s the way you should feel. Get us out of this weather. I can’t go on with this snow. Who lives on this rock that we know?”

“Searching data-banks ... connecting ... please wait ... searching ... Martin Bell.”

“Martin, that old bastard! I haven’t visited him in a long time. Head for Bell’s place.’

“Recomputing trajectory ...”

They banked and then flew over frozen ice-covered hills and thick monsterous forests and deep raging rivers.

Frozen ice-covered hills on Alderan-Taygeta.
Licenced CC SA, by flickr's Futurilla


They landed in a large courtyard of Judge Bell’s estate. The light posts turn on automatically as their craft set down. “He’s in!” Bevers said, climbing down to look in the brightly lit windows of the house of Martin Bell, judge of the district court of the Interplanetary Judicial System. “This is a change for the better. We’ll get some good hot food, you can run a circuit diagnostic while you recharge and I can get a decent night’s sleep. For a worthless fellow, Bell’s friendly enough, you have to admit. Don’t record that.”

“Deleting ...”

“Transmit a greeting to Bell,” Bevers says. XKV emits some beeps.

They walked up to the entrance and XKV emits some beeps. The doorway lit up and beeped back. In a moment, it opened and Bell himself greeted them. He was a thin, wrinkly old man with a short white beard and a balding head. “Hello, Lee. I was happy to get your message. It was surprisingly flattering of you,” Bell says. Bevers squints questioningly at XKV. “Come in," Bell says, waving them forward.

Bevers and XKV entered the huge entrance hall. There were marble floors and balconies on either side.

Bell's estate on Alderan-Taygeta.
modified from a photo by A. Milligan, licenced CC by 2.0


"You’ve come at the right moment, as we are just starting dinner. We’re having Fennebian steak, imported from Ancius-Alcyon. My daughter Maddie is here. Did you hear she lost her husband in a airbot crash recently?”

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Bevers said.

“Also, Assistant District Councillor Louston is here. He’s come out to make sure I’m be in court tomorrow,” Bell said. “The docket has been backed up for the past month.”

Bevers and XKV entered the dining hall. A large table is set with apetizers, wines and ales. Also at the table is the judge’s sad-eyed daughter Madeline, mourning in a dark dress. Next to her sits Louston, a young man from the other side of Alderan-Taygeta with blue whiskers and thick viens in his neck.

“Maddie, are you acquinted with my old friend Dr. Bevers? Lee, this is my daughter and this is Councillor Louston.”

The young woman gifts Bevers with a faint smile, but with sad eyes. She extends her hand to Bevers.

“As you are freshly arrived,” Bell said, pouring two drinks for Bevers, “you have some catching up to do! To our health!” They downed their glasses and Bevers attacked the steak. XKV asked to be excused to recharge batteries and run diagnostic tests on its circuitry. Bell poured more glasses. “The glasses are waiting! Doctor! Let us drink to medicine, and the power to keep us feeling young!”

Bevers and Madeline moved to the other room with their drinks. They all fell into conversation, except the Councillor. It was obvious he did not think highly of Bevers, who cheered up Madeline by playing a simple piano tune.

“You are on your way to an autopsy?” she asked. “To dissect a dead body? What courage that must take. I admire men with courage. I am afraid of flying, especially after my husband’s crash. He was very brave, may he rest in peace.”

“So sad,” Bevers said, distracted.

“Doctor, is something bothering you?” she asked.

“Call me Lee. I don’t like this weather. My emotibot XKV feels a sense a dread, as though a loved one would die.”

“Are you married? Do you have any children?”

“I have no one. XKV is my only friend, if you can call a robot a friend.” “You are lucky to have such a nice emotibot. This dread it reports could just be a malfunction.”

Bevers and the widow finish several bottles of wine while discussing emotibots and other matters of the heart. Bell and his other guests get involved with some sort of multi-player game involving lots of shouting and swearing and eating and drinking. Hours passed as seconds.

Suddenly, Bell realized that time was getting late and he had to be in court the next morning. “What am we doing? In only a few more hours, I’ve got to set off for my court session and here we are drinking and gaming. Maddie, time for sleep. To bed everyone, I declare our party adjourned.”

Madeline wished Bevers a good night. “I have trouble sleeping these nights. The wind knocks against my window, and I miss my husband terribly. You are lucky that you can sleep on a night like this.”

“I can give you something to help you sleep, if you like,” Bevers offers.

“No, thank you doctor, I’ll go read myself to sleep with a good book. If the light from a lamp on the window sill is visible under my door in the hallway, then you will know I’m still awake.”

*

In the room assigned to the doctor and XKV, a large comfortable bed invited Bevers. While XKV reported his diagnostics, Bevers got undressed and slipped under his covers. “The diagnostics report a circuitry problem,” XKV says.

“Fixable?”

“No, a controller board must be replaced. Inventory reports there are several in supply at the home base.”

“Can it wait?” Bevers said, flipping onto his back and belching loudly.

“Yes.”

Bevers squirmed restlessly in his bed and said, “I can’t stop thinking about the widow.”

“That's because you’re drunk,” XKV says.

“She told me she had trouble sleeping and would be awake if I saw her reading light on from under her door. Do you think I should go knock on her door?”

XKV beeps a warning. “No. That’s a stupid idea. I advise against it.”

“You’re a robot, how would you know?”

“I know because I am a robot. You are drunk. Go to sleep.”

Bevers got up and started getting dressed, swearing at XKV as he did so. XKV moved in front of the door, blocking his exit. “What the hell do you think you are going?” Bevers asks.

“I’m not letting you pass. You’re 60. She’s 30. Use your head.”

“I’ll use my fists to smash you into bits, you tin can!”

“Titanium alloy. You will break your knuckles. It’s happened before. If you have forgotten, I can replay the video.”

“Uhmm...”

“3D or 2D?”

“Oh, I remember now. Don’t play the video. Suddenly, I don’t want to stay here any longer. Let’s go home."

They packed up quietly and slipped down the long hallway past the light under Madeline’s door, and out the front door. After dusting off the snow from their craft, they take off. “What about the autopsy?” XKV asks.

“Some other time. I will not feel right until we are home. Do you still have the sense of dread you reported before?”

“Following the diagnostics, I turned off all related emotional sensors. Are you still thinking of the widow?”

“Yes, but when we get home I will be fine. Can you make this go faster?”

“Lovely female shapes are terrible complicators of the difficulties and dangers of this earthly life...”

“Are you running through your database of quotations?” Bevers interrupts.

“Yes, I thought it would make you feel better. That was George du Maurier. Shall I continue?”

“Just shut up.”

XKV whirs a bit and a few of the indicator lights turn off. Several days go by silently during the interplanetary flight. Bevers busies himself by reading, watching videos, and isometric exercises. When they dock at their home base, he directs XKV to go to the repair shop and get his controller card replaced. On return, XKV says “My controller card has been replaced and I now pass all diagnostics. I apologize for any inconvenience my performance caused. I am under warranty and can file a claim on your behalf if you wish.”

“No, thank you XKV, that won’t be necessary.”

“Shall I prepare for the trip to the autopsy?”

“What autopsy?”

“The one you were going to do on the snow planet when my controller card went bad.”

“I completely forgot. Yes, of course.”

They pack and take off again.

“I’m sorry I got so upset and called you a tin can.”

“I was given an upgraded controller board during my repairs. My new circuitry has an improved ability to process irrational emotional outbursts.”

They had a pleasant trip back to the snow planet, and were flying low over an area not far from Bell’s estate.

“I think I see lights over there. What is that? Cruise over and let’s check it out.”
Alien's Alley, a bar on Alderan-Taygeta.
by A. Milligan, licenced CC by 2.0



“Records indicate that is a drinking establishment, Alien's Alley. Recomputing trajectory ... the ship identification system reports Bell’s ship is docked in the area.”

“Bell, that bastard son of an alien, is at that bar down there?” Bevers asks. XKV searches his records and then projects the Alley's menu on the front screen.

“I do believe that’s the bar with the cute barmaid! Let’s get a drink and see what old Bell is up to.” The travelers dock and make their way over to the tavern.

Bell's inside and surprised to see them. “Doctor! Where are you coming from? Where are you heading too this time?” he asks.

“We keep heading out for the same autopsy and we keep having running into problems getting there. It’s a vicious circle,” Bevers says, slapping the cute waitress on her bottom. She's got a gorgeous face and figures, but ams like a spider.

"Do that again and I will rip the skin off your face,'' cute waitress says, holding her hand up at him. Instead of a palm of skin, it's covered with tiny hooks.

“Doctor, let us drink to vicious circles!” Bell says.

They drank and told stories of medicine and law and cute barmaids and vicious circles, or was it vicious barmaids and cute circles?

2016-07-26

Classic 80s Movie: “Terminator”

Classic 80s Movie: “Terminator”

Movie Title: Terminator

Year: 1984

Writers: James Cameron, Gale Anne Hurd, William Wisher, Jr.

Credited with story idea: after a lawsuit, Orion Pictures agreed the idea was based on "Soldier" (an episode of the 1964 TV original The Outer Limits) by Harlan Ellison (which is, in turn, based on his 1957 short "Soldier From Tomorrow"). However, in 2009 In an interview from 2009, Cameron reportedly strongly disagreed with the story credit settlement given to Ellison.

Lead actors: Arnold Schwarzenegger, Michael Biehn and Linda Hamilton

Director: James Cameron

One draft of the script is available here:
http://www.imsdb.com/scripts/Terminator.html

Plot Summary:
IMDB summary: A robotic assassin from a post-apocalyptic future travels back in time to eliminate a waitress, whose son will grow up and lead humanity in a war against machines.
My summary:
After a near-deadly encounter with a robot from the future, Sarah Connor's life is transformed from a dead-end job as a waitress at a fast-food restaurant to the only person who can save humanity from destruction.

Why I Think This Is A Classic 80s Movie:
Financial reasons: This movie earned 12 times its original production budget, and spawned three movie sequels (a fourth sequel is in pre-production), a TV series (a second TV series is in development), and an animated series (not to mention novelizations, video games
and comic book series). The Terminator movie franchise has reported total gross profits of about 1.2 billion dollars.
Other reasons: "The Terminator" was selected by the Library of Congress for preservation in the American National Film Registry, being deemed "culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant". It has created some of the most recognizable characters in the action/scifi/horror genres, sky-rocketing the career of writer-director James Cameron.

My Favorite Moment In The Movie:
I remember when I first saw it, I found the silent scene of the Terminator repairing himself in a mirror fascinating. I still do. No dialog, but it reveals what the robot is underneath and that it feels no pain:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQPOEWo3RDA
Of course, the "I'll be back" scene in the police station is a classic:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kYt2HmAxHL4

My Favorite Dialogue In the Movie : This is a really minor scene from the opening but sets up nicely Sarah's character.

[scrippet]
As Sarah Connor cleans up the spill, a kid at the next booth reaches over and dumps a scoop of ice cream into the top pouch of Sarah's apron.
She stares down at the mess melting over her hard-earned tips and sags with defeat. NANCY, a plump, gum-chewing waitress, stops beside her to whisper.

NANCY
Look at it this way: in a hundred years, who's gonna care?
[/scrippet]

This line also functions to set up a point made later in the story: in one hundred years, everyone will care about Sarah Connor, as her life is essential for the survival of humanity.

Another:

[scrippet]
REESE
There was a war. A few years from now. Nuclear war. The whole thing. All this--

His gesture includes the car, the city, the world.

REESE
(continuing)
--everything...is gone. Just gone. There were survivors. Here. There. Nobody knew who started it. It was the machines.

SARAH
I don't understand...

REESE
Defense network computer. New. Powerful. Hooked into everything. Trusted to run it all. They say it got smart ... a new order of intelligence. Then it saw all people as a threat, not just the ones on the other side. Decided our fate in a microsecond ... extermination.

Reese pauses, and when he continues it's less like a military briefing, quieter.

REESE
(continuing)
Didn't see the war. I was born after, in the ruins. Grew up there. Starving. Hiding from the H-K's.

SARAH
The what?

REESE
Hunter Killers. Patrol machines. Built in automated factories. Most of us were rounded up, put in camps... for orderly disposal.
He pushes up the sleeve of his jacket and shows her a ten-digit number etched on the skin of his forearm.

Beneath the numbers is a pattern of lines like the automatic-pricing marks on product packages.

REESE
(continuing)
Burned in by laser scan.
(pause)
Some of us were kept alive...to work. Loading bodies. The disposal units ran night and day. We were that close to going out forever...

Reese is holding onto Sarah's shoulders tightly.

REESE
(continuing)
...but there was one man...who taught us to fight. To storm the wire of the camps. To smash those metal mother-fuckers into junk. He turned it around...he brought us back from the brink. (pause) His name is Connor. John Connor ... your son, Sarah. Your unborn son.

[/scrippet]
Key Things You Should Look For When Watching This Movie:
The facts revealed in action or dialog: the time-displacement machine (in which only "organic material" can time-travel), the self-aware artificial intelligence system Skynet, the HKs (Hunter-Killer patroling combat robots), the Terminator model T-800 (also called a model 101) which functions on behalf of Skynet as part of its self-defense mechanism, the Resistence movement to destroy Skynet before it destroys humanity. Skynet is described as being an AI system built by Cyberdyne Systems for SAC-NORAD.

This lead to a fascinating fictional story universe in which the sequels are told in.

More info at the
* Terminator wiki
* GITS "script to screen" post on "The Terminator",
* thescriptlab's 5 plot point breakdown.






2014-09-01

making "Love, Spy, Kill"/"Quantum Insurance"



An old friend Els Withers and I decided to write a story and script together last spring. The title is Love, Spy, Kill. Els and I came up with the story together. I took a script writing workshop taught by Randy Baker over the summer of 2014. During that class I wrote a draft of one of the scenes (the one with Tam and Chance in the storage room). Except for that scene, and the opening scene, which Els and I co-wrote, I wrote the script on my own.

Roughly, the theme is about a college aged daughter, Tam, and her strained relationship with her father, Ray. The plot is about the theft of a valuable state-of-the-art computer-chip which hackers and spies are after. The chip is hidden in an art museum, so it can be smuggled out of the country disguised as a work of art in a cultural exchange. Of course, the police are looking for the stolen computer chip, but a gang of hackers, led by Grekov, have discovered it's hiding location first. Grekov and her gang kidnap everyone in the museum in an effort to find the chip. Tam and Ray must work together to capture the hacker gang and free the hostages.

I hope to shoot at the Maryland Hall in Annapolis. Other possible locations are the AACTV studios in Glen Burnie and Jeffrey Gangwisch's studios at the Creative Alliance in Baltimore.

Cast of actors:

Props:
  • A black box (which contains the quad-copter)
  • a quad-copter (possibly broken)
  • Name-tags for Freydoon (museum guard) and Sigrid (museum guide)
  • matching uniforms/blazers for Freydoon and Sigrid,
  • Fake pistols with silencers (at least 1 and no more than 3)
  • A mini make-up case that looks like a quantum computer chip.
  • A mini make-up case.
  • Police car light, radio mic, badge, and cap.
  • small bandages
  • ace bandages with fake blood
  • men's tie
  • a box-like machine that looks like a cell-phone jammer (use the BeachTek audio mixer, with glued-on antenna)
  • device that look like hand-held scanner (use a temperature meter "gun"),
  • Electrical van with repairman sign on it (from Nick Beschen),
  • Sign near front door "Closed for repairs"
  • Large backpack for Eyo
  • Black jackets for Grekov and Eyo
  • Grekov's gun
  • Wolff's gun
  • security camera monitors
  • computer
  • ropes or duct tape
  • wire cutter or large knife
  • chair for Chance to be tied to
  • fake blood for Freydoon, Ray, Chance, and for Grekov (in the last scene)
  • Make-up for bruises to Chance and Ray
  • bandages for Freydoon
  • police uniform
  • police badge
  • police gun
  • police car flashing light
  • Sigrid's lipstick
  • green-screen
  • zip-ties
The policeman's uniform was borrowed from The Colonial Players - many thanks for their generosity.

Crew:

  • Mark Hildebrand: sound, AD, production planning,
  • Julien Jacques: shooter, AD, sound, production planning,
  • Marcus Wolf: shooter, production planning, editing assisting
  • Laurie Kinner: make-up, sound assistant, production assistant,
  • Jarrett Ervin: sound assistant,
  • David Joyner: writer/director/shooter
  • Els Withers: story co-writer

During the 2nd week of September, I drove up to the Anne Arundel County County Public Access studios in Glen Burnie and spoke with Mike, the head of the facilities. Because of the rules in how they work, the only way to shoot there would be to break the shots into 10-15 minute episodes, produced in the order written in the script. Each episode would have to be completed before the next studio reservations could be made. All this is free, so I'm really grateful. Here are some cell-phone pics of the studio:

I really appreciate their support, even at this early stage of production. Speaking of support, I'm also very grateful to Kevin Kangas a local filmmakers for helpful advice.

I spoke with the gallery manager Sigrid Trumpy at the Maryland Hall for the Creative Arts at the opening of a new art exhibit. I also met the artist, who kindly gave me permission to use incidental shots of his art in the shoot. Sigrid has also very generously let us use the Martino Gallery during the shoot for free.

My wife Elva and I went shopping for props during the 2nd week of September. I bought what I hope will be the quantum chip. I also met the very kind Laurie Kinner, who agreed to be the make-up person.

Photo of quantum chip prop:

Ray's business card:

Around mid-September, the gallery artist withdrew his offer, so now his gallery cannot be used as a backdrop. Sudden change of heart, I guess. Possibly the Maryland Hall location will be impossible to shoot at, or possibly I will simply have to wait. I will try to have another face-to-face meeting soon to see what the problem is, in case I misunderstood something.

Late September, the actress playing the part of Tam has withdrawn, due to job commitments and scheduling conflicts with other performances. That was very sad news, of course, but ultimately turned out to be best all around. Looking for a new protagonist, in the hope that the main characters can be used in later scripts.

Heard back from the operations manager of the Maryland Hall in early October. They did not give permission to shoot in the gallery even in between shows.

The rehearsal on Oct 1st and the studio shoot on the afternoon of Oct 9th went very well. In fact, Alicia introduced me to Mark Hildebrand and Julien Jacques which was a stroke of good fortune. Julien and I met for several hours the night of Oct 7th and discussed shooting different ways to shoot various scenes. Mark did all the sound and also had great suggestions on how to shoot and block various scenes. Laurie not only made the actresses look great, she also helped with camera operation. Thanks to Julien and Mark and Laurie for making the shoot on Oct 9th go so well.

A still of Eyo and Wolff in the security office (with some effects using GIMP added) from the Oct 9th shoot:

A screenshot of Ray trying to sell life insurance to museum guard Freydoon:

A still of Grekov, Eyo and Wolff in the security office:

A screenshot of Ray talking to Chance about his daughter Tam:

Andrew dropped out mid-October, stating other acting commitments. As great as Andrew is, this is a blessing in disguise as I need to cut down the script to finish the shoot faster. I rewrote the script, "killing off" Wolff, writing out Tam's part, and retitling it Quantum Insurance. It is 24 pages (down from 60). Here is the new synopsis (spoiler alert):

A divorced single father, Ray, who uses the hard-sell to try to sell life insurance, meets Sigrid, a life insurance agent at a competing agency. The are forced together during the kidnaping and theft of a valuable state-of-the-art computer-chip sought by hackers and spies. A rough hacker, Chance, has hidden the chip in an art museum, but a gang of hackers, led by Grekov, have discovered its location. Grekov's gang kidnap everyone in the museum in an effort to steal the chip, shooting the guard Freydoon in the process. However, Chance briefly escapes. Police become suspicious of a stolen repair van Grekov used to enter the museum. While the hackers search for Chance and the chip, Sigrid befriends Ray. A gang-member Wolff is killed, Chance is discovered and tortured, and Freydoon finds the chip. Sigrid notices it looks just like her make-up case and gives it to Grekov, who runs out of the museum with it, into the arms of the police. Sigrid and Ray find happiness together by creating their own insurance company together, Quantum Insurance.

Here is Sigrid's business card:

Except for a frustrating delay in the early morning hours of the shoot, the exterior shoot on the early morning of the 18th at the Maryland Hall went well. Here is one still from the shoot of Nick Beschen playing Officer Brion:
I wrote a call-sheet and very crude storyboards for the next shoot, on October 30th at the AACTV studio.

The shoot at the AACTV studio on Octover 29th went great. There were a lot of props in this shoot! Took me 4 trips to unload the car.

Since a picture says a thousand words, here are some behind-the scenes shots:

Jarrett (Chance) getting bruises applied by make-up artist Laurie:

Julien shooting a scene with Pajvak (Freydoon, who has just been shot by Grekov):

Alicia (Sigrid):

Liza's baby Lulu was the real star of the show:

In one scene, Chance is beaten by Grekov and Eyo to get his to reveal the location of the stolen chip. Here's a still shot of Chance, with blood applied by Laurie, and background filled in using Gimp:

Looking forward to the next shoot, on Nov 6th, since there will be fewer props to lug into the studio!

I arrived at 8:15am the morning of the 6th (the studio officially opens at 9am, but they have allowed me to lug the equipment and props into the studio early, so I can get set up before the actors arrive). The head of the studio said he would not allow me to shoot any more of the project in his studio. I told him it was the last day of the shoot anyway. He seemed upset but it wasn't clear to me exactly what he was objecting to. However, the AACTV rules are that a show is to be submitted after each reservation. I've had 3 studio reservations and have not yet submitted a video for them to broadcast. I told him I hoped to be done with editing in December. Except for that exchange, the shoot went great and the actors were on the top of their game.

Here is a shot of Ray, Sigrid, and Freydoon in between takes:

By far the most unpleasant part for me was the editing phase. I'm very happy that part is over!
Overall, I'd characterize this as a great learning experience for me, both as a writer and as a producer-director. I feel very fortunate to have been able to work with such talented cast and crew members. Hopefully, the future holds many more film projects like this one.

All episodes are now online at vimeo:

Quantum Insurance, Episode 1

Quantum Insurance, Episode 2

Quantum Insurance, Episode 3

Quantum Insurance, Episode 4

2014-01-19

The making of the short "Beyond the Door"

Beyond the Door is a short film, based on a short story of Philip K. Dick, made with the help of a very talented crew in early 2014. This post explains the evolution.

The story begins with the screenwriting forum, The Black Board, which supports Scott Myers' Go Into The Story blog and the Black List. The BB is a online place where screenwriters meet and talk about films and writing and the screenwriting business. John Muth and I were both involved with the BB, and there we (virtually) met. John and I figured out via the BB that we actually live relatively close to each other, yet for one reason or another never met.

The BB has a thread on generating story concepts, which led me to a search for interesting science fictions stories in the public domain. That's when I found this:


a short called Beyond the Door, by Philip K. Dick. As I think of myself as a beginning student in screenwriting, I assigned an exercise to myself to adapt the story into a script. I quickly wrote a script adaptation and set it aside. Wanting a project to focus on over the winter break, I emailed John asking for advice. He replied very generously offering help, which I jumped at. When I mentioned this adaptation to John Muth as a potential joint project, he loved the idea. I sent him my script, which was about 10 pages. He (politely) tore it apart. I liked his suggestions and rewrote it, and script improved. One thing he talked me out of, and I'm glad he did, was treating Doris as a femme-fatale trope from film-noir. (This perspective on the short story was done already anyway: see Matthew Mandarano's Beyond the Door) This tearing-apart-and-rebuilding process went through numerous iterations, but in the end we have a script that we both feel good about. We met twice to discuss the script and possible test shots during the first week of December, once at my house, where we will be shooting in mid-January 2014, and once at the West restaurant in Annapolis, with some people involved with the Annapolis Film Festival.

Regarding locations and props, I bought this (non-working) cuckoo clock at the Boonsboro (Maryland) Clock Company, owned and operated by Dave Myers:


The cuckoo comes out of the clock by moving a lever inside the framework of the clock, as this short clip shows.

I made several very crude storyboards



It turns out for various reasons, the seating arrangement with Larry and Doris at the table didn't work, so we switched it so they were sitting together. Most of the other storyboards were used in the finished version.

2013-12-22: great news - I heard from several very talented actors that they are interested in parts in the short. Both Dann Alagna and Jarrett Erwin expressed interest in playing Larry or Bob. Kat McKerrow and Ann Turiano have expressed interest in Doris. (I met Dann and Jarrett and Ann via Liza Skinner. In fact, Liza contacted Dann for me. Dann is a founding member of the acting/improv group Free Range Improv, which Liza belongs to. Liza and Ann are both teachers at the Compass Rose Theater. Kat I know from her performance as Prospero in the Laural Mill performance of The Tempest. Her husband Josh McKerrow directed it and I worked for him as the lighting tech.)


2013-12-24: I wrote up a "production script" detailing about 80 or 90 camera set-ups, and did some test clips, such as this one with the cuckoo clock. I also compiled a props list:

  • cuckoo clock (I bought 2, and an extra cuckoo big for extreme close ups),
  • box and wrapping and tissue paper for clock present,
  • stethoscope, latext gloves and lab coat and body bag for coroner,
  • framed photo of Larry and Doris and child,
  • framed photo of Larry and Doris and bird,
  • robe for Doris,
  • jacket for Bob,
  • empty alcohol bottles,
  • hammer,
  • actors' wardrobe/makeup.

2014-01-02: We had our first rehearsal and it went great.
I'm closest to the camera, then to my left is Jarett Ervin, then Dann Alagna, John Muth, Kat McKerrow, Ann Turiano. The kitty Jeeves is on the floor trying to get attention from someone, anyone. I also did some more test clips, such as this one with Kat McKerrow.

Here is a shot of Larry and the cuckoo:
Our next rehearsal is on the 12th.

I made it clear to the actors that I view the director as no more important than the actors. Sort of like a stage director with a camera. If they have ideas on whether a line should change, or a blocking sequence should be redone, or whether a certain action takes place before or after another, we will try it. This was a team project. They did have several such suggestions and they definitely helped improve the film, thanks to their ideas.

Cast and crew:
  • Actors:
    • Larry: Dann Alagna
    • Doris: Kat McKerrow
    • Bob: Jarrett Ervin
    • Coroner: Ann Turiano
    • Writers: David Joyner and John Muth (based on a public domain story by P. K. Dick)
    • Producers: Liza Skinner, John Muth, Elva Joyner
    • lighting assistant: Charlie Graf
    • assistant production supervisor: Roland McKerrow
    • production assistants: Elva Joyner, Ann Turiano, Dann Alagna
    • Director, Editor, Cinematographer: David Joyner


Books I've enjoyed looking at while in the pre-production/principal photography/post-production process:
  1. Dan Gurskis, The short screenplay, Thompson, 2007.
  2. Steven Katz, Film directing shot by shot, Michael Weiss Productions, 1991.
  3. Bruce Block, Visual story (2nd ed.), Focal Press, 2008.
  4. Jeremy Vineyard, Setting up your shots (2nd ed.), Michael Weiss Productions, 2008.
2014-01-12: We had our second rehearsal and it also went great. Ann and John couldn't make it. The actors decided they preffered to do a run through of all the scenes, even if the wardrobe was wrong and the time of day was wrong. (The porch we were shooting on has no curtains, and is wall-to-wall windows, so day could not pass for night.) We rehearsed for about 3 1/2 hours and quit. I then roughly assembled the shots, with "titles" used as transitions when lines or entire scenes were missed for the actors to view. In all, there were about 120 takes shot that day. Here are some screenshots:






















The "real shoot" is next weekend, starting the night of the 18th.

2014-01-19: We are officially in post-production! Barring any re-shoots, I'll try to make all the footage already captured work and avoid re-shooting any scenes, if at all possible. A few hours before the shooting started, a photography friend Charlie Graf helped me set up lighting for the green screen shots, but he had to leave before the actors showed up. The actor playing Doris came down with a virus but agreed to show up anyway for the final scene, which involves all the actors and was difficult to schedule. However, we had to cancel the shoot planned for the 19th. Kat brought her beautiful baby Roland, which my wife Elva kindly sat with to keep him company. Jarrett and Kat left as soon as we shot their scenes. With Ann's help behind the scenes, Dann and I worked late, getting all his solo scenes shot. As usual, it was fun working with all of them but I was exhausted by the time we finally quit shooting.

In all, there were about 90 takes shot that day. The total amount of raw footage was about 25 G, and the total time shooting was about 9 hours. The video from previous week's rehearsal was extremely helpful. Elva spotted lots of problems which helped in the editing (e.g., a mirror catching someone, such as me, that wasn't supposed to be in the shot). Going through the footage from the 18th, I see even more mistakes like that. Hopefully, they are fixable with some extra post-production work. Some shots from the final scene:

From now on, it is working with FCPX, and keeping my fingers crossed:-)

In addition to the script written with John Muth, I started a notebook with more detailed shot descriptions (90 or so in all), and more crude storyboards. I also wrote two drafts of a "production script", the latest of which is here. I decided to interweave into the story the (excellent) 1950 film noir D.O.A., directed by Rudolph Mate which is now in the public domain (in the U.S.).

2014-01-21: I now have the video down to 10:30, not including the end credits.

2014-01-23: After 15 versions of edits, I now have the video down to 9:30, including the end credits.

I'll post the video publicly as soon as I can. I want to submit it to film festivals and am still researching the submission "premiere requirement" criteria for them.

The short is now on imdb: www.imdb.com/title/tt3486714/.

2014-03-12: I learned by email that the short was accepted at the Maryland International Film Festival!

All thanks to my great actors!

2014-05-03: I'm back from the Maryland International Film Festival. A few pics:

  1. Opening night - Peter Breitmayer (actor) and Nathan Marshall (director) of the wonderful and funny Coffee, Kill Boss:
  2. More of the opening night, with a Coffee, Kill Boss Q+A on the main stage:
  3. Daniel Herman (of The Backseat) and Sanj Surati and John Iwasz (of Zombie Casserole), at the Academy Theater on Saturday afternoon, when Beyond the Door was also shown:
More are at this MDIFF flickr album.