This a personal blog of movie- and book-related musings of David Joyner. See also https://sites.google.com/site/wdjoyner/
2015-06-15
Making of "The Incompatibles"
The video "The Incompatibles" is the first project from the Annapolis Filmmaking Group, a meetup.com group founded by James Angiola. We meet once or twice a month in the Factor's Row restaurant, who have been very generous in giving us meeting space.
James decided to run the group in a workshop fashion, to learn filmmaking by doing. We collected some scripts and decided the first project would be a modification of a public domain script written by Horace Holley in 1916 titled "The Incompatibles".
Next, we did a table read and the group decided that the script needed to be updated in language. I volunteered to take first crack at it but also incorporated suggestions from others. After this, we did another table read where more suggestions were made, and we selected actors (2 male, one female) and crew from the AFG members, and set a date for the shoot. Ultimately, the script ended up as 8 pages. Two other (completely different) revisions were submitted by other members and the plan is they will be made in future meetings.
Before the shoot, the female lead dropped out. Instead of canceling the shoot, I took about an hour out of one morning and rewrote the script without the need of that actor, resulting in a 2 page script. It's just a silly comedy, whcih hopefully some of you find a little amusing. We shot that script using AFG and the edited video is slightly over 3 minutes.
Cast:
* Fred - Benjamin Walker
* George - Attral Platte
* Waitress - Erica Chambers
Crew:
* sound, camera assistant - JT Torres
* director/camera/editor/co-writer - David Joyner
Sources:
* Original script:
Horace Holley "The Incompatibles" (1916)
* Sound track:
Pavel Svimba - Teknikal Problems
license: CC by-nc-sa-3.0
There are problems with the finished edit. I'm not very good at color-correction and it shows, focus was in and out on the waitress (I don't know why), and some coverage was missing. Audio was hampered by my lack of skill at syncing h4n audio to on-camera audio, and the AC running full blast. (This was shot on a hot summer night.) None-the-less, the actors were terrific and, as far as I'm concerned, a fun learning experience! Thanks to everyone involved, including my grand-daughter Addie who lent me her favorite doll for the final shot!
2014-09-01
making "Love, Spy, Kill"/"Quantum Insurance"
An old friend Els Withers and I decided to write a story and script together last spring. The title is Love, Spy, Kill. Els and I came up with the story together. I took a script writing workshop taught by Randy Baker over the summer of 2014. During that class I wrote a draft of one of the scenes (the one with Tam and Chance in the storage room). Except for that scene, and the opening scene, which Els and I co-wrote, I wrote the script on my own.
Roughly, the theme is about a college aged daughter, Tam, and her strained relationship with her father, Ray. The plot is about the theft of a valuable state-of-the-art computer-chip which hackers and spies are after. The chip is hidden in an art museum, so it can be smuggled out of the country disguised as a work of art in a cultural exchange. Of course, the police are looking for the stolen computer chip, but a gang of hackers, led by Grekov, have discovered it's hiding location first. Grekov and her gang kidnap everyone in the museum in an effort to find the chip. Tam and Ray must work together to capture the hacker gang and free the hostages.
I hope to shoot at the Maryland Hall in Annapolis. Other possible locations are the AACTV studios in Glen Burnie and Jeffrey Gangwisch's studios at the Creative Alliance in Baltimore.
Cast of actors:
- Jarrett Ervin: Chance,
- Dan Kavanaugh: Ray
- Liza Skinner: Grekov, hacker gang leader
- Tyris Lee: Eyo, hacker gang member
- Andrew Nichols: Wolff, assassin for the Russian mafia
- Pajvak Kiumarsi: Freydoon, a museum guard
- Alicia Sweeney: Sigrid, a museum guide
- Katrina Atsinger: police dispatcher
- Nick Beschen: police officer Nick Brion
- ??: Tam
- A black box (which contains the quad-copter)
- a quad-copter (possibly broken)
- Name-tags for Freydoon (museum guard) and Sigrid (museum guide)
- matching uniforms/blazers for Freydoon and Sigrid,
- Fake pistols with silencers (at least 1 and no more than 3)
- A mini make-up case that looks like a quantum computer chip.
- A mini make-up case.
- Police car light, radio mic, badge, and cap.
- small bandages
- ace bandages with fake blood
- men's tie
- a box-like machine that looks like a cell-phone jammer (use the BeachTek audio mixer, with glued-on antenna)
- device that look like hand-held scanner (use a temperature meter "gun"),
- Electrical van with repairman sign on it (from Nick Beschen),
- Sign near front door "Closed for repairs"
- Large backpack for Eyo
- Black jackets for Grekov and Eyo
- Grekov's gun
- Wolff's gun
- security camera monitors
- computer
- ropes or duct tape
- wire cutter or large knife
- chair for Chance to be tied to
- fake blood for Freydoon, Ray, Chance, and for Grekov (in the last scene)
- Make-up for bruises to Chance and Ray
- bandages for Freydoon
- police uniform
- police badge
- police gun
- police car flashing light
- Sigrid's lipstick
- green-screen
- zip-ties
Crew:
- Mark Hildebrand: sound, AD, production planning,
- Julien Jacques: shooter, AD, sound, production planning,
- Marcus Wolf: shooter, production planning, editing assisting
- Laurie Kinner: make-up, sound assistant, production assistant,
- Jarrett Ervin: sound assistant,
- David Joyner: writer/director/shooter
- Els Withers: story co-writer
During the 2nd week of September, I drove up to the Anne Arundel County County Public Access studios in Glen Burnie and spoke with Mike, the head of the facilities. Because of the rules in how they work, the only way to shoot there would be to break the shots into 10-15 minute episodes, produced in the order written in the script. Each episode would have to be completed before the next studio reservations could be made. All this is free, so I'm really grateful. Here are some cell-phone pics of the studio:
I really appreciate their support, even at this early stage of production. Speaking of support, I'm also very grateful to Kevin Kangas a local filmmakers for helpful advice.I spoke with the gallery manager Sigrid Trumpy at the Maryland Hall for the Creative Arts at the opening of a new art exhibit. I also met the artist, who kindly gave me permission to use incidental shots of his art in the shoot. Sigrid has also very generously let us use the Martino Gallery during the shoot for free.
My wife Elva and I went shopping for props during the 2nd week of September. I bought what I hope will be the quantum chip. I also met the very kind Laurie Kinner, who agreed to be the make-up person.
Photo of quantum chip prop:
Ray's business card:Around mid-September, the gallery artist withdrew his offer, so now his gallery cannot be used as a backdrop. Sudden change of heart, I guess. Possibly the Maryland Hall location will be impossible to shoot at, or possibly I will simply have to wait. I will try to have another face-to-face meeting soon to see what the problem is, in case I misunderstood something.
Late September, the actress playing the part of Tam has withdrawn, due to job commitments and scheduling conflicts with other performances. That was very sad news, of course, but ultimately turned out to be best all around. Looking for a new protagonist, in the hope that the main characters can be used in later scripts.
Heard back from the operations manager of the Maryland Hall in early October. They did not give permission to shoot in the gallery even in between shows.
The rehearsal on Oct 1st and the studio shoot on the afternoon of Oct 9th went very well. In fact, Alicia introduced me to Mark Hildebrand and Julien Jacques which was a stroke of good fortune. Julien and I met for several hours the night of Oct 7th and discussed shooting different ways to shoot various scenes. Mark did all the sound and also had great suggestions on how to shoot and block various scenes. Laurie not only made the actresses look great, she also helped with camera operation. Thanks to Julien and Mark and Laurie for making the shoot on Oct 9th go so well.
A still of Eyo and Wolff in the security office (with some effects using GIMP added) from the Oct 9th shoot:
A screenshot of Ray trying to sell life insurance to museum guard Freydoon:
A still of Grekov, Eyo and Wolff in the security office:
A screenshot of Ray talking to Chance about his daughter Tam:
Andrew dropped out mid-October, stating other acting commitments. As great as Andrew is, this is a blessing in disguise as I need to cut down the script to finish the shoot faster. I rewrote the script, "killing off" Wolff, writing out Tam's part, and retitling it Quantum Insurance. It is 24 pages (down from 60). Here is the new synopsis (spoiler alert):
A divorced single father, Ray, who uses the hard-sell to try to sell life insurance, meets Sigrid, a life insurance agent at a competing agency. The are forced together during the kidnaping and theft of a valuable state-of-the-art computer-chip sought by hackers and spies. A rough hacker, Chance, has hidden the chip in an art museum, but a gang of hackers, led by Grekov, have discovered its location. Grekov's gang kidnap everyone in the museum in an effort to steal the chip, shooting the guard Freydoon in the process. However, Chance briefly escapes. Police become suspicious of a stolen repair van Grekov used to enter the museum. While the hackers search for Chance and the chip, Sigrid befriends Ray. A gang-member Wolff is killed, Chance is discovered and tortured, and Freydoon finds the chip. Sigrid notices it looks just like her make-up case and gives it to Grekov, who runs out of the museum with it, into the arms of the police. Sigrid and Ray find happiness together by creating their own insurance company together, Quantum Insurance.
Here is Sigrid's business card:
Except for a frustrating delay in the early morning hours of the shoot, the exterior shoot on the early morning of the 18th at the Maryland Hall went well. Here is one still from the shoot of Nick Beschen playing Officer Brion: I wrote a call-sheet and very crude storyboards for the next shoot, on October 30th at the AACTV studio.The shoot at the AACTV studio on Octover 29th went great. There were a lot of props in this shoot! Took me 4 trips to unload the car.
Since a picture says a thousand words, here are some behind-the scenes shots:
Jarrett (Chance) getting bruises applied by make-up artist Laurie:
Julien shooting a scene with Pajvak (Freydoon, who has just been shot by Grekov):
Alicia (Sigrid):
Liza's baby Lulu was the real star of the show:
In one scene, Chance is beaten by Grekov and Eyo to get his to reveal the location of the stolen chip. Here's a still shot of Chance, with blood applied by Laurie, and background filled in using Gimp:
Looking forward to the next shoot, on Nov 6th, since there will be fewer props to lug into the studio!
I arrived at 8:15am the morning of the 6th (the studio officially opens at 9am, but they have allowed me to lug the equipment and props into the studio early, so I can get set up before the actors arrive). The head of the studio said he would not allow me to shoot any more of the project in his studio. I told him it was the last day of the shoot anyway. He seemed upset but it wasn't clear to me exactly what he was objecting to. However, the AACTV rules are that a show is to be submitted after each reservation. I've had 3 studio reservations and have not yet submitted a video for them to broadcast. I told him I hoped to be done with editing in December. Except for that exchange, the shoot went great and the actors were on the top of their game.
Here is a shot of Ray, Sigrid, and Freydoon in between takes:
By far the most unpleasant part for me was the editing phase. I'm very happy that part is over!
Overall, I'd characterize this as a great learning experience for me, both as a writer and as a producer-director. I feel very fortunate to have been able to work with such talented cast and crew members. Hopefully, the future holds many more film projects like this one.
All episodes are now online at vimeo:
2014-05-01
Rafael Alvarez on Chaim Potok
Some brief notes (what I note below is as much the wisdom of Rafael Alvarez and Chaim Potok):
Potok taught writing at JHU in 1996 and allowed Rafael Alvarez, a Baltimore Sun reporter who had not yet published his first book, to sit in. Knowing Potok commuted in my train from Philadelphia, Rafael volunteered to pick him up at the station and drive him to JHU. In this way, he collected the wisdom of Chaim Potok on writing, with the intention of writing an essay on Potok for the Sun. While the essay was never written, this talk is the essay he would have written.
Potok wrote The Chosen, which is a work of literary fiction that sold 3.5 million copies. It was also made into a movie starring Rod Steiger. He wrote about a dozen other books, both fiction and non-fiction, and is highly regarded as a writer of Jewish culture, history and philosophy.
As a teacher at JHU, Potok looks for a students "voice". He also stressed the carpentry, the hard work and the the craft, of writing. Writing is not "won" by the smartest, the most talented, the swiftest. It requires courage and hard work and diligence. Voice can be learned. Keep having new experiences. Don't repeat yourself. Always strive to improve and do better. For a short story, say 10 pages, Potok would write at least a dozen drafts of the overall content and 20 drafts of individual portions. For Potok, the writer is not that different from the sculptor. Both create their works from their imagination - the writer is using the English language and the sculptor a block of marble. However, the writer, Potok says, must first create his marble before he or she can start on crafting the story. It is through the heart and human imagination that we document our stories. We tell ourselves stories in order to live.
For more details of this great lecture, see the video above.
2013-06-07
Docs In Progress panel on "Creative Approaches to Historical Documentaries"
Location: DiP office at 8700 1st Ave Silver Spring, MD
Cost: $20
Erica Ginsberg, co-founder, executive director of Docs in Progress, did the moderation. DiP is now 9 years old. DiP offers training classes for making docs, fiscal sponsorship, networking opportunities, etc.
Panelists were all DiP alumni:
- Gilliam Willman
Director, Producer, Writer Editor of "The New Woman: Annie 'Londonderry' Kopchovsky" (28 min)
www.spokeswomanproductions.com
- Jason Osder
Director, Producer of "Let the Fire Burn" (95 min)
jasonosder.com/blog/film
- Donald Plata
Director, Producer of "Forgotten Soldiers" (87 min)
www.ww2scouts.com/
- Errol Morris "Tabloid" (2010) for interesting use of media footage
- Bart Layton "The Imposter" (2012) for creative methods in documentary filmmaking
- Bill Nichols, "Introduction to Documentary"
(A doc is a representation or relaity, not a reproduction of reality.)
- Robert J. Flaherty, "Nanook of the North" (1922)
rogerebert.com reviews
wikipedia page
for a doc containing staged sequences
There was a screening of a short clip from each of their films, a general discussion of their filmmaking process, then the floor was opened to questions. There was about an hour of very interesting discussion but I only took notes on the following.
Q: How did you determine rights and how did it factor into your budget?
A:
Osder: Pat Aufderheide laid groundwork for documentary filmmakers to make use of footage in a documentary film. The issue is that an insurance policy is needed for a distribution deal. Now, thanks to Pat Aufderheide. insurance companies will assume a "fair use" defense
will be made in case of a lawsuit. This lowers the price of their insurance premiums, compared to maybe 10 years ago.
Willman: Rights also depend on the type of distribution: web distribution, DVD only distribution, broadcast distribution, and so on, are all different. Of course, anything in the public domain does not require obtaining rights. Also, rights regarding images and facts about a person depend on whether that person is a public figure or not.
Plata: I used volunteers for the WWII battle re-enactments. They are all members of a clubs which do battles using period uniforms and actual weapons (firing blanks). Lou Diamond Phillips volunteered his VO.
Overall, I learned a lot, the films looked great from what part I saw (I plan on buying them all), and it was an excellent panel discussion!
2013-03-23
Notes on AFF film funding panel discussion
Friday, March 22, Noon – 1:30 pm
Maryland Hall for the Creative Arts, Room 205
The Topics every filmmaker wants to know! Our influential panel will discuss distribution methods and creative ways to fund your film project.
Moderator: Mimi Edmunds – Documentary Journalist, Producer for 60 Minutes/CBS News; Professor of Journalism, Emerson College
Panelists:
Jack Gerbes – Director, Maryland Film Office
Wendy Cohen – Senior Director Film Campaigns, Participant Media
Lyda Kuth – Filmmaker, founding board member and current Executive Director of the LEF Foundation, a major funder of documentary films
Steve L. Burns – Producer, Rollercoaster Road, Former Executive, Discovery and National Geographic Channels
There was also a panalist Wayne Rogers, who is an energy executive involved now in film production.

Any suggestions of what is needed for funding a film?
* Must have a good film! There were disagreements. (And a comment: don't listen to how a critic describes your film.) A good idea, as described in a paragraph, for a film is important at some stages.
* Need a product that people can buy (script or at least story idea, film to be distributed, etc)
* Be organized
* In TV: Discovery/National Geographic about 5 years ago received about 800 pitches per month.
- to be successful you need the right idea matching a current network need
- we look for experience
- we worry a lot about "scheduling issues"
In the non-fiction TV world - pitches are now via agents (eg, for
National Geographic)
* Film Foundation perspective:
- where in the food chain is the filmmaker?
- LEF (California, New England only) gives 3 stage grants
5K for preproduction, 15K for production,
25K for post-production
- look for a well-told story and a good narrative
(several repeated that a good story based on real events is very popular)
- Participant Media has a pretty open submission process for doc films
Where does the money come from?
This depends. What is the filmmakers' objective?
* Is it art? (You just want to enter film festivals)
* Is it money? (You want to distribute to theaters)
* Do you have a script? Do you have a treatement?
Several repeated: You must be organized.
* Get a script or well-written treatment
* Make up a budget
* Try to lineup crew and talent (actors, shooters, etc)
The Maryland Film office has about 7.5 million dollars of incentives for Maryland-based films
* marylandfilm.org
* mdrpg.com (Md film production guide)
* We at the Md Film office want to help you make your film (in Md)
Other resources:
* Ford Foundation (for docs with social message)
* Docs in Progress (in Silver Spring Md)
* AFI Silver Doc Film Festival in June
* Maureen Ryan's book "Producer to Producer" and producertoproducer.com
Is Kickstarter a good idea?
Yes.
Kickstarter-like sites will crop up for films
slated is a new site for raising money for films
Kickstarter exceeded NEA support for filmmakers
* need a great trailer for Kickstarter campaign, which costs money
* there is great talent out there, talented people want to use their talents to create and will show up early in the morning for a shoot, you just have to look for them
2013-02-17
The Gold Bug, revisited
Captain Kidd
Minerva Engel is a twenty-something DHS agent, who everyone calls Minnie. But today, she’s in her civilan clothes, joining her mother Juno and 8-year old sister Nina, to witness the neighborhood event. Standing with them are a dozen local residents, and a half-dozen reporters. Everyone is bundled up against the cold winter day.
“Mommy, when can we leave? I’m cold!” Nina says.
“In a minute, Nina. Don’t you want to see what happens with the apartment building you used to live in?” Juno says.
“No.”
“Go play with your friends,” Minnie says.
“Okay!” and Nina rushed off.
“Don’t go out of my sight!” Juno ordered.
“Okay!” Nina says as she continues running.
“Speaking of children, are you still mad at Dad?”
“Did your father tell you that? That’s between your father and I.”
Minnie smiles and waves at Nina as she plays with her friends.
“No. He never thinks he needs any help.”
“Exactly. Don’t to try to solve his problems. He’ll have to try decipher them for himself.”
Luther “Captain” Kidd, Sr. owns the Hope Towers Apartment complex, a triple of high-rise low-rent apartment buildings he bought 10 years ago.
Kidd emerges from of one of his apartment buildings with an entourage making a beeline for a luxury car waiting for him. Kidd wears an expensive overcoat, the picture of a very successful middle-aged businessman. The reporters jump into action.
A twenty-something woman, a reporter for WBAL-TV, shoves her microphone in his face.
“Mr. Kidd! What happened in there? Changes to your real-estate empire?”
“A meeting. No further questions at this time. Thank you,” Kidd says.
She follows Kidd’s brisk stride and elbows in closer to him, flashing a big smile.
“Mr. Kidd. We are live on WBAL TV! What was the meeting about?” the reporter asks.
Kidd ignores her, but pauses and looks around then, resigned to the inevitable, steps up to a small podium set up by the news crew. The reporter shoves her mic in with the others, causing some feedback and echo effects.
“I changed my mind - I will make a brief statement. My business associates and I have concluded our meeting on the Hope apartment complex. On 10AM Friday, ... ”
There is a feedback screech from the reporter’s mic interrupting Kidd. It is so loud that people across the street stop and stare. Nina and her friends cover their ears and the stop their playing.
“On 10AM Friday, I will announce to the media my plans for the future of Hope,” Kidd says.
The reporter’s mic caused a feedback echo. The fading echo “the future of Hope,” “the future of Hope,” ... , blankets the crowd as Kidd steps away from the mic and walks to his limo.
There is a silence until the limo drives away.
“He can’t close down these apartments!” Minnie says.
“Word is he uses it to launder his drug-money. Why would he sell?”
“Mom! Where did you hear that?”
“I have friends too. I guess he has better ways to launder his money.”
“Or something big is going down and he needs to cause a distraction.”
“Come here Nina!” Juno yells.
Juno, Minnie and Nina walk away as the crowd disperses.
Twenty-something DHS agent Gonzalez “Gonzo” Galtero, parked further down the block from Minnie, is watching the scene from a distance. Over his uniform, he wears a windbreaker. A car parked a block away has caught her eye. Occasionally, he takes off his gloves and raises a camera with a telephoto lens to take a picture. Gonzo is watching the Captain’s son, Luther “Bug” Kidd, Jr., sitting in a tricked-out gold-colored Volkswagen Beetle.
Gonzo is careful to shoot the detail of the MD license plate GOLDBUG and an Orioles bumper sticker.
Gonzo punches a number into his cell-phone. “He looks thinner but - I don’t know. It’s freezing cold out here, and he’s bundled up, and - I really can’t say for sure.”
Bug
The next day, a van is parked on a beautiful suburban neighborhood in Baltimore, with a few kids playing in the street and a few joggers on the sidewalks. It has a “Acme Cable and Internet” sign painted on it.
Inside the van, middle-aged “Sarge” is organizing his team. Jupiter Engel is squeezed between his daughter Minnie and Gonzo, who is wearing a headset. Sarge is giving his agents a pep talk.
“Gonzo, what’s going on with the FBI team down the street?” he says, then checks his watch.
Gonzo talks into his headset in low tones. Sarge adjusts a screen showing a live feed from the hidden security camera mounted on top of the van. he screen shows Bug’s gold-colored VW Beetle parked in the driveway of a house down the street.
“Sir, they are still in prep,” Gonzo says to Sarge.
“We’ve got a few minutes before commencing operations,” Sarge says eyeing the live feed “Looks like a damned repairman convention!”
One of the vans starts driving down the street scraps the side of a BMW parked across the street from Bug’s house. The BMW’s alarm goes off and a few people spill out of Bug’s house and start yelling at the guys in the van.
“Sir, three of Bug’s men have exited the house,” Gonzo says.
“Good,” Sarge says. “Remember, without a no-knock warrant we must be careful how we enter. He is to be considered armed and dangerous. Also, we do not know a lot about our suspect’s appearance. He was 250 pounds at last report but may have undergone plastic surgery and a special diet to disguise himself. Galtero, you saw him last. What do you say?”
“I’m not sure, sir. He didn’t look 250,” Gonzo says.
“If you don’t know, we go with what we know. Also, we want this to look like a normal heart attack. Are we clear?”
Nods all around, followed by silence.
Jupe grabs a candy bar and looks at Gonzo and Minnie.
“Have I told you two the story of the time I killed Kidd’s brother?”
“500 times,” Minnie says.
Gonzo raises an eyebrow, which is more than enough to get Jupe going.
“The Sarge, Jesus ... ”
“My dad?”
“Yes, he was there! Sarge, your Dad, and I were staked out in front of a house in this bad neighborhood. I mean bad - the rats were as big as cats, and nasty too. We had reliable intel that this house harbored a very high-profile target.”
“Did you have an id?”
“No id. The house had not paid its property taxes, so we got a search warrant to investigate suspicious activity. The city was trying to do something about squatters. We had no idea that our squatter was, in fact, a suspected terrorist and leading drug cartel member, running their M14 cell.”
Jupe takes a bite.
“Tell them about how you gained that intel, Daddy,” Minnie suggested, with a wink at Gonzo.
“Oh, right. Thank you, dear! You are my little angel. I busted a rival gang leader, calls himself Brick, on drug distribution.”
Minnie smiles.
“Legally?” Gonzo asks.
“Oh, hell no! Completely made up,” Jup admits.
“Engel, I’m fucking standing here!” Sarge yells. “Do you want me to fry you?”
Gonzo listens to his headphones and holds up his index finger. “Sorry to interrupt, sir - FBI reports that the girlfriend and two men left the house.”
Sarge checks his watch and nods to Gonzo. “Right on schedule. That leaves only Bug and one other guy.”
“Sorry about Brick, Sarge. I fucked up. But I released him,” Jupe says.
“That’s just great.” Sarge rolls his eyes.
Jupe looks at Gonzo and says, “Then I put the rumor on the street that he rolled and was a new informant. Now, Brick knew Kidd’s M14 gang would be after him. To save his ass, he made it his mission to find intel on M14 to give to us, so we’d get them before they got him.”
“Did it work?” Gonzo asked.
“No, they killed him anyway. He was an idiot - fuck him. I think that was how he got his name. But, anyhow, we got the intel, and we’re outside this house. We’re behind this wall, in front, getting organized. Sarge gives his BS pep talk.”
“Hey, asshole, did you say ‘BS pep talk’?” Sarge says.
“Sorry, Sarge. I didn’t mean it.”
“Did you have a warrant?” Gonzo asked.
“Yes, of course.”
Sarge looked at his watch and signaled to Gonzo to get in contact with the other vans on the street also involved with the operation. Gonzo gets on his headset and whispers some commands into his mic.
“Did you have a ‘no knock’ warrant, Daddy?” Minnie asked.
“No, we did not. Thank you for reminding me, sweetie.”
“No problem,” Minnie says.
“Sarge says, ‘Galtero, take the rear.’ Jesus, quiet as a panther, runs around to the back of the house. I’m looking through the window of the first floor living room with my binoculars.”
“Did you see a TV set?”
Jupe ignored her question. “Don’t interrupt your Daddy, dear.”
“Sorry,” she says, suppressing a smile.
“Then the Sarge looks at me and says, ‘Engel, take the front door.’ So, I charge full sprint to the front door, taking out my revolver as I run. I’m running full blast and I kick the door in with both feet and, miraculously, it busts off its hinges and I land with both feet, landing inside the house.”
Minnie is mouthing the words behind his back.
Jupe continues: “Gunfire erupts. I’m so fucking scared, I’m shooting everything. The TV is blaring some fucking cops-and-robbers show. I shoot the TV. The guy watching TV is so high, he had to think to put his TV remote down and pick up his gun. By the time he got his gun, I see him and I shoot him. Jesus killed the others.”
“Then I walk in. ‘I told you to fucking watch the front, not fucking charge through the front!’, I told him.”
“Do Not Argue with the Sarge when he gets angry like that.” Jupe advised.
Minnie zips up her cable repairman suit.
“We found a ton of drugs and explosives and guns. Big haul,” Sarge says.
“Huge haul. Jesus comes over and says ‘Don’t you like that TV show?’. Then he bends over the clicker guy and stared at him carefully. ‘This one is Kidd’s older brother!’ he says. That’s the story of how I shot Captain Kidd’s brother.”
Gonzo gives him a look of admiration. Minnie rolls her eyes.
After a pause, Sarge says,“I was real sorry to hear about Jesus.”
“What about Jesus?” Jupe asked.
Gonzo takes off his headset. “What about him?”
“You were at the briefing this morning. - The mandatory briefing?”
“Alarm clock didn’t go off,” Jupe says, rubbing his nose.
“Stuck in traffic on I95,” Gonzo says scratching his face.
“Jesus Galtero was shot and killed in Mexico City as part of a classified joint Mexican Army-DEA operation. I’m sorry. I thought you both knew, especially you, Gonzo. You should have been told. But, we’re not even supposed to talk about it in the open like this,” Sarge says.
There was a silence.
Minnie hugged Gonzo. “Sorry, Gonzo, I thought you knew.”
Jupe slaps Gonzo on the back then hid his face in his hands.
Gonzo made a silent prayer and says, “I think my father would want us to continue.”
All nod.
Gonzo puts on his headset and checks in with the ther vans as he wipes his eyes. “The others are ready, sir,” Gonzo told the Sarge.
Minnie is now dressed and starts to double check off the items in her repairman bag. When she is finished, she nods at the Sarge and gives the thumbs up sign.
“All right, cut it,” Sarge says. “and disrupt cell-phone reception.”
Gonzo says into his headset, “Hit the kill switch.”
Inside the house, Bug is watching TV in the living room when it dies.
“Damn TV!”
Bug fiddles with the clicker for a minute before he picks up a cell-phone and a phone-book. Punches in a number. Scowls and listens.
“No signal? What the fuck?!”
He tosses the cell-phone across the room and picks up the land line and starts dialing.
In the van, Gonzo puts a hand to his headset and mic. In his most polite voice, he says “I’m sorry to hear you are having problems, sir. By coincidence, it happens we do have a van in the area at the moment. Would it convenient if it stopped by within the next 30 minutes? Yes, sir. Thank you for using Acme Cable, where the customer is always right!”
Gonzo hangs up.
“Minnie, remember hit him hard at the top of the spine, with the patch,” Jupe says.
“I know. We’ve practiced this 100 times.”
“The dosage is set for 250 pounds. If he has gained weight, cancel the op,” the Sarge says.
“Yes, sir.”
“Right at the base of the neck. The needles have to sink in,” Jupe repeats.
“Don’t worry, Daddy.”
Minnie moves to sit in the driver’s seat of the van.
“And don’t let him slouch too much,” Sarge says.
“Slouch? What do you mean slouch? I was never briefed about that,” Minnie says.
“The drug is a paralyzing agent which should only affect his lower body. His breathing and talking should be functional. But too much of the drug could kill him, so keep him seated and upright. If his head gets too low, to much of the drug could go to the brain. He could die,” Gonzo says.
Minnie nods and starts the engine.
“Do we care if he dies?” Jupe asks.
“Our mission is not to terminate. You are simply to do a blood test. Unless you want to fill out paperwork for six months, keep him upright, until he get ID’d by headquarters,” Sarge says.
“No, sir. I mean, yes, sir,” Minnie replied.
She pulls onto the street and drives towards Bug’s house. Another van takes off at the same time, but turns to drive down a side street as Minnie pulls in front of Bug’s house and parks.
“Plug the clip into the reader, then jam this clip onto the tip of his index finger. It will take a blood test and feed the data back here. We will match it with the FBI database,” Sarge says.
“Then we can kill him,” Minnie says.
“No,” Gonzo says.
“Let headquarters worry about that,” Sarge says.
Minnie grabs her bag, and exits the van.
An agent from the other van jogs to an area bordering Bug’s back yard and tosses into the back yard a backpack with a wireless speaker inside. It lands unseen behinds some bushes. Loud cat noises emanate from the backpack.
Minnie walks up the driveway, steals a quick peak at the gold-colored VW, zips down the front zipper of her suit a bit, and walks up to ring the doorbell.
In the living room in the house, banging on the TV, Bug is alone with Diego, his 1st lieutenant. Bug gets up from the sofa and sees Minnie from the window.
“Diego, go kill that fucking cat,” Bug orders.
Diego gets up and goes to the back yard, which is surrounded by privacy fence. He walks out the back door and, listening for the cat noises, heads towards the bushes in the backyard. FBI agents come out from behind some bushes and taser him.
Alone, Bug goes over to the front door and opens it.
“Aren’t you the prettiest repairman I’ve ever seen?”
“You are the 10th person today to say that to me today. Sir,” Minnie says. She sees he is about 140 lbs. Bugs waves her in.
“In here,” he says and walks towards his living room.
Minnie quietly shuts the front door and silently pulls out the patch from her bag. As he starts to point to the TV set, she slams the patch into the man’s neck.
“Fuck, that hurts!”
During his brief struggle, he knocks over the TV set, which is next to a chair.
“To the chair. - Sit!” Minnie points.
Bug barely makes it, slumping into paralysis. Minnie stands on the chair, pulls him up straight by his armpits. He starts to slump.
Minnie grabs her cell phone and punches in a number. “He’s slouching!”
In the van, Gonzo puts a hand to his headset. “Quiet! It’s Minnie ... She says he’s slouching.”
“Shit!” Sarge says.
Everyone thinks for a moment.
Jupe has an idea. “Duct tape!”
“Your father says to try duct tape.”
Inside the house, Minnie hangs up and says “Duct tape, my ass!”
Minnie yanks Bug upright in the chair and slaps him awake. He shakes his head and looks at her.
“What are you going to do with me?”
She takes his right index finger and plugs the clip into the tip of them into the his finger.
“What’s going on? ... ”
“I ask myself that very question every morning, Bug. What is the world coming to?”
“I mean, what’s happening to me?”
“Bug, think of it this way. You are part of a very special experiment.”
“You’re going to kill me, aren’t you?”
“No, Bug. You didn’t let me finish. You are the first trial in a new program to use remote DNA testing and ...”
“Let’s me go! I have rights! Get me my lawyer!”
“Well, Bug, there’s the rub. Once your DNA is matched to who I think you are, rou’re citizenship is going to be revolked. You really don’t have rights.”
“That’s craziest idea I’ve ever heard of! Who thought of that?”
“CIA. I am not supposed to tell you that, but I guess it doesn’t matter now.”
“This is legal?”
“The future of the law, Bug.”
“Ow! Please, don’t kill me.”
“Stop whining.”
“Please, don’t kill me. I’ve got a deal for you. There’s lot’s of money to be made.”
“Stop acting like a baby. I just have a few questions for you.”
“Ask me! Anything!”
Minnie sees a reading on the screen attached to the clip on Bugs finger.
“Hmm! You have come back positive.”
“Does that mean I’m healthy?”
“Not exactly. - Did you or your father, the Captain, have anything to do with the murder of Jesus Galtero?”
“No. Who is that?”
“Is a drug shipment coming in before your father’s announcement on the Hope Projects?”
“Who told you that? No!”
“I can tell you’re lying. Both times.”
Bug looks at the screen attached to the clip on his finger.
“That thing there tells you that?”
“The lie is in your eyes.”
“Fuck you!”
Minnie starts to pack.
“You know Bug, there is a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.”
“I don’t know. I flunked my Shakespeare class. Professor,” he says sarcastically.
“Ecclesiastes, Chapter 3:8. The Bible. Not Shakespeare.”
Minnie gets up to leave.
“Oh. ... Wait! I can’t think. ... Uhmm ... there is no love between us ... ” Bug says. Sounding groggier by the minute, he tries to focus and finally says “...no war ... I forget. What is left?”
While the man gasps his last breaths, Minnie sees some money, drugs, weapons, a cell-phone, a laptop, and car keys. She powers down the laptop and cell-phone. The laptop has some post-it notes stuck on it with some passwords, which she also packs into her bag.
“Hate, Bug. It is a time for hate.”
Bug looks at his right index finger. “OWW! What ...?” He slumps over.
She zips up her suit, pull the finger clip off Bug and puts that in her bag, and exits with the bag over her shoulder and the keys in her hand.
Walking down the driveway, heading back to the van, Minnie pauses to check out the gold-colored VW. Looking around and seeing no one, she opens the car with the keys she has just taken. Laying in the back seat is a book on cryptography and in it a piece of paper with some cryptic symbols. She takes both and heads back to the van.
Legrand
Ensign Jason Legrand is a Coast Guard computer tech. His DHS office has several desks, each with a computer. Minnie and Jason are next to one of them.
“You really work for the DHS?”
“Yes, ma’am - the USCG is part of the DHS now.”
“Please, just call me Minnie.”
“Call me Jason.”
Minnie hands Jason a USB stick and he plugs it into the computer and opens a file on it.
“The file on the USB stick is a scan of the paper I found in the back seat of Luther Kidd Jr’s car. The original is still in the lab. Can you help?” she asked.
Jason studies its image on the screen.
“I will try.” Let’s put the ciphertext up on the screen so we can look at it. On the computer screen, the following text is projected:
EK1JBK95WK9QWKB4CEX1GW1K9LUKLLXZ94T5W0Y3H627R
“This cipher seems classical. Very unusual. Most just use PGP, or something equally uncrackable.”
“I don’t know anything about cryptography. What do you mean by ‘classical’?” Minnie asked.
“I just mean it looks like it was written using a cipher which has already been invented before the days of computers. Most of the more recent ciphers, like PGP, are much stronger. Much less likely to be cracked.”
“Why would someone use a classical cipher?”
“Possibly it was written while in prison, then smuggled out. In prison, they would not have access to computers. It’s also possible whoever wrote it just doesn’t know any better.”
“Is it likely they would not know the difference between a strong cipher and a weak cipher?” Minnie asked.
“There was an al-Qaeda terrorist who thought the infidels had invented PGP, therefore knew how to crack it. So he used a classical substitution cipher.”
“What happened to him?”
“Leavenworth I think - or Guantanamo - or dead. Some criminals are so dumb they don’t know how dumb they really are,” Jason says while typing on the computer. “They are blind to danger.”
“Sounds like a Darwin Award winner.”
“25. Hmm.”
“What? - the length of the cipher is 25 characters? Did you count them?”
“The length is 45. If you add the 26 letters of the alphabet A through Z to the 10 digits 0 through 9, you get an expanded alphabet of 36 characters. However, only 25 of those 36 are used.”
Minnie looks at him wide-eyed.
“I can count really fast. Like Rain Man.” Then Jason smiles and points to the computer screen, which has that information.

Minnie punches his arm.
“Let’s try frequency analysis,” Jason says laughing.
“What is that?”
“We see how often each symbol in the ciphertext is used in order to try to correlate it with ordinary English language usage. That should help crack it if a classical substitution ciphers preserve the frequency, so if they used a substitution cipher, frequency analysis might crack it.”
“Sounds reasonable.”
“K occurs 13.3% of the time, W and 9 each about 8.8%, 1 and L about 6.6% .” Jason says, pointing to the computer screen he is reading from.
“That means K could be E, which is the most commonly occurring letter.”
“Yes, good.”
“ ... I wonder if it’s a bank account.”
“And it’s loaded with tons of cash!” Jason adds.
“We could get huge bonuses and a promotion!” Minnie laughs.
“Promotion? I would seriously like to be captain.”
Minnie laughs louder.
“Seriously, do you know that it is a bank account?”
“It’s either a bank account or the location of a treasure chest. I think I read it in a story once.”
Jason shakes his head.
“Let’s go back to frequency analysis?”
“E, T A, O, I, N. Those are the most commonly used letters.”
“Doesn’t mean they were actually used in this cipher.”
Jason nods and says “Let’s make the computer search though those substitutions for possible word matches.”
“Good idea.”
Jason goes an gets a cup of coffee.
“Coffee?” he offers.
“Yes, please. Black.”
Jason makes her a cup and brings them back and sits down.
“How long will this take?” Minnie asks.
Jason takes a sip and says, “It’s done. It found the message!”
Jason points to a jumble of text on the screen, Minnie grabs a pad of paper and writes:
maryland bank baltimore branch account sdb12345678
Aas she is writing, she says, “It’s a bank account.”
“You were right!”
Minnie makes an ‘of course’ face.
“You knew the person with this account?”
“Bug Kidd? I met him once. Then he died. Suddenly.”
“Were you the one who... ?”
“Kind of. It might have been awkward. For him, I mean. I think he was attracted to me. Then - well, he died ... suddenly.”
“Awkward.”
“Yes. Well, for him.”
“No, not for you.”
“No.”
“These things happens.”
“True.”
There was an awkward silence.
“What’s next?” Jason asks.
“Can you help me get a search warrant?”
Jupe walks in.
“There you are, angle! I’m hungry. How about some lunch?” he says and gives Minnie a kiss.
“Hi Daddy! This is Jason Legrand. He just cracked the cipher I found in Bug’s car. It’s a bank account number.”
Minnie shows Jupe the paper with the decryption. Jupe shakes hands with Jason, noticing his Ensign bars.
“My pleasure, Ensign. I’m Jupiter. Call me Jupe. Everyone does. Congratulations on the cipher!”
Jason smiles modestly.
“Thank you, sir. Please, call me Jason. I’m happy to help.”
“This calls for something special! How about steak?”
“Can you help me with a warrant?”
“What’s the hurry? I’m starving!”
“Bug’s gang could be emptying the account as well speak!”
“Okay. Jason, do you have a phone?”
Jason brings the office phone, on a long cord, over to Jupe . “Here, sir.”
Jupe dials a number. After some pleasantries, Jupe says
“Your honor, I need a warrant right away. ... I’ll hand the phone over to my daughter, who has the particulars.”
Jupe hands the phone to Minnie. Minnie gives details to the judge at the other end and hangs up.
“Thanks Daddy!”
“No problem. Let’s eat!”
“I have to go. I’ve got a warrant to execute!”
“Before you go ...” Jupe takes Minnie aside and whispers, “Is your mother still mad at me?”
“I think so.”
“I don’t get it.”
“She said you had to decipher it yourself. Have to run - good luck!”
Minnie runs out. Jupe’s mouth hangs open.
“I’ll have lunch with you, sir!”
Jupe sits down and ponders what Minnie just says. “... decipher...” he says to himself.
Sarge walks in. All eyes turn to him.
“FBI wire-tap now gives us proof Kidd is a connected with a drug gang. I just got the report.”
“We knew he was involved. Now we have proof?”
“Affirmative. What you don’t know is that Bug was connected with a much larger major drug cartel.”
“Do you have proof Bug was also involved? Do you want to go eat?”
The Scout Run
Sarge, Jupe and Jason are seated at a table in Paul’s Restaurant.
“We have proof Bug was involved. The wiretap confirmed he also ordered the hit on Jesus.”
A waitress walks up to the table.
“Good day gentlemen. Here are the menus. What would you like to drink?”
“Black Russian,” Jupe says.
“You’re on duty. No Black Russians,” the Sarge says.
Jason and the Sarge order iced tea.
“Beer,” says Jupe
“We don’t serve alcohol. We don’t have a liquor license.”
“Large chocolate milk-shake then.”
“I’ll be right back with that.”
They look at their menus. In a moment, the waitress returns with the iced teas and shake.
“Are you ready for your orders?”
“I’ll have a burger with the works! ... Hey, Sarge, are you saying Bug is, or was before his unfortunate heart attack, a major player?”
The Sarge nods. The waitress looks at Jason with an upturned eyebrow.
“If he is such a big deal, could we track so easily?”
“Maybe he thought we didn’t know anything about his Dad. I’d like to have a steak,” Jason says.
“How would you like that cooked?” the waitress asks.
“Medium well.”
“Besides, it was his girl-friend’s house. ... I’ll have a BLT,” the Sarge says.
“And fries, for me,” Jupe adds. “He let down his guard.”
“He made a stupid mistake.”
“Another Brick,” Jupe says.
“Gentlemen, the steak will take a little longer. Would you like the orders to come out together?”
“Bring mine out as soon as it’s ready.”
“Same here,” the Sarge says.
“I’ll wait,” Jason says to the waitress.
The waitress smiles at him and leaves.
“Jupe, this was your daughter’s first point role in a raid. How do you think she did?”
“Great! Why?”
Sarge shrugs.
“What is that ... supposed to mean?” Jupe says, imitating Sarge’s shrugging motion.
“She said she wasn’t briefed on the slouching problem with the drug. I think she was.”
“If she said she wasn’t briefed then that is the truth. She followed directions and protocol to the letter, as far as I can see.”
“Who dosed the medipack Bug was hit with?”
Jupe raises his hand.
“You? Did you brief her?”
“My bad.”
Sarge snorts.
“Jason, have I ever told you the story of Earl Weaver and Jim Palmer?”
Jason shakes his head. “From the Orioles?”
“Them. My Dad was at a game, this was back in the 1980s. They are playing the Yankees.”
“Go Bombers!” the Sarge says.
Jason and Jupe look at him with narrowed eyes.
“Go on, Jupe. Was this a home game?”
“No, it was away.”
The waitress shows up with the burger and the BLT. Jupe and Sarge take a bite out of their food.
“If this was ’82, then Don Mattingly would be on the team,” the Sarge says.
“1982 sounds right.”
“That was his rookie year. The Hitman!”
“The O’s pitcher Palmer is fucking phenomenal. I mean he is in top form. In his zone. But, the fucking umpire has a floating strike zone. So Earl Weaver signals a time out to talk to the ump,” Jupe says, tapping his forearm. “Weaver says to him, ‘You are calling strikes balls.’ ‘No I am not. Go back to the dugout,’ the ump says. Weaver says, ‘Jim Palmer is a 3 time Cy Young winner, a 4 time Gold Glove winner, and a 6 time All-Star. If you tell him what spot over the plate you want him to pitch to, he will hit that spot. Make up your mind where the strike zone is.’ Then he turns around and heads to the dugout.”
“Great manager - Weaver.”
Now Jupe turns to the Sarge.
“Minnie is your Jim Palmer. You point her in the right direction, decide on your mark and she will hit the fucking mark every single fucking time.”
The Sarge nods.
“Speaking of the Yankees, do you know what happened to my Yankees cap?” “Fries Jason? What cap, Sarge?”
“Well, just a couple, thanks. I saving up for my steak!”
Jason takes a few fries from Jupe’s plate with a fork and puts them on a napkin.
“My collectors item - it’s a Yankee’s cap worn by Don Mattingly. It’s inside a glass case in my office. Are you saying of all the times you’ve been in my office, you never noticed it?” Sarge asks.
“I remember that. What do you mean? That cap is in your office.”
“It has a pizza stain on it.”
“No doubt The Hitman liked pizza.”
“This stain is new.”
“Jason, did I tell you about the scout run on Bug’s house?” Jupe asks.
Jason shakes his head.
“What the fuck is this? I didn’t order that operation!”
“No harm done. I just wanted to check out the house before my little girl took him down. I did it the night before.”
“What the fuck did you do?” the Sarge asks.
“One of my snitches told me that Bug was in this house. During one of the stakeouts, I noticed they liked to order pizzas from Four Brothers Pizza. I convinced Four Brothers to let me do the delivery, just so I could check out the inside.”
“Did they really let you inside the house?” Jason asks.
“Yes!”
“Really? How did you manage that?”
“Well, they couldn’t very will put a beating on me outside,” Jupe says.
“They messed you up?” Jason asks.
Jupe waved it off.
“Why didn’t you report this?” Sarge asks.
“Really Sarge, I’m fine. Stomach bruises. I got a good look around. Small crew. Cute girlfriend. I didn’t get a good look at Bug but I knew from that inside look that we had to think of some way to separate his crew from him. Otherwise, Bug wouldn’t have to answer the front door when Minnie knocked the next day.”
“Brave as hell,” Jason says.
“What caused them to beat you?” Sarge asks.
“Uhmm. A little misunderstanding?”
“What would that be?” Sarge asks.
“They thought I was a Yankee’s fan.”
The Sarge’s eyes get big.
“You didn’t!”
Jason tries to suppress a smile.
“I had to, Sarge. I thought you’d understand!”
The Sarge stands up.
“Get the fuck back to work, both of you. Now!”
“I haven’t... Yes, sir,” Jason says.
They all get up, throwing money on the table as they leave.
“Sarge, I didn’t know they’d mash my face into the pizza while I was wearing ...”’
They step outside the restaurant and head back to their DHS offices.
“Shut The Fuck Up! You are assigned to Ensign Legrand’s command.”
“Sarge, I outrank Jason by ...”
“I can change that before you can say ‘Go Bronx Bombers,’ if you’d like.”
“I would never want to say that.”
“Legrand, you make sure Engel stays occupied. I want that stego-cipher cracked.”
“Yes, sir. Top priority.”
“Engel, there is just one part of your story I don’t understand.”
Jupe is a little chastened and is polite for once.
“What is that, sir?”
“Can you tell me how you convinced them you were really a Yankees fan?”
“That was easy, sir. I used my New York accent.”
“Let me hear.”
In his best Bronx accent, Jupe yells “Yo, pizza delivery!”
“Good Bronx accent. You’ve been practicing!”
“I have the best impersonation of you in the division,” Jupe says.
“Get out of my face, you two! Solve that cipher!”
More gold bugs
Minnie enters the lobby and heads over to the desk of a bank manager. She pulls out her badge.
“I’m DHS Agent Minerva Engel. We spoke on the phone,” Minnie says.
“Yes, I’ve been expecting you. You have the search warrant with you?”
Minnie pulls out a piece of paper and hands it the manager. The manager looks it over and sends a file to the printer.
“The safe-deposit boxes are this way.”
They both head to another section of the bank. The manager pulls out the safe deposit box and unlocks it, allowing Minnie to open it up. They see a USB stick and a key.
“If you take possession, please sign this form,” the manager says.
Minnie dons rubber gloves and pulls out a plastic evidence bag. She puts the USB stick and the key in the evidence bag and seals it. The manager hands Minnie the printout, which Minnie signs.
“Thank you for your cooperation,” Minnie says as she takes her exit.
Minnie enters the DHS office where Jason, Gonzo and Jupe are seated. They are staring at a computer.
“I knew I’d find you here,” Minnie says.
Jupe smiles, gets up and goes over to Minnie.
“How’s my little angel?” Jupe says, as he kisses and hugs Minnie.
Minnie places the evidence bag on the table and says, “Hi Daddy. Hi Jason! Hi Gonzo!”
Jason puts on a rubber glove and plugs the USB stick into a computer in his office. He studies the files that are on it.
“These are all image files.”
“Images of what?” Gonzo asks.
“They look like beetles,” Jason says.
“They’re pretty,” Minnie says. “Very unusual gold-color.”
“These images have been altered. I ran a program that checks if known steganography algorithms have embedded a message into the image. It came back positive!” Jason says.
“Stegonagraphy?” Gonzo asks.
“Yes, hiding a message in a picture,” Jason says. Gonzo shakes his head, still not understanding, so Jason continues, “A picture is composed of pixels, right?”
“Right,” Gonzo agrees.
“Each pixel is one of a million shades of a color. By default, a jpg image arranges these pixels in a very special data structure. By changing that color slightly, or not, we can keep track of those color differences as a sequence of 0’s and 1’s.”
“That sequence of 0’s and 1’s is the embedded message?” Gonzo says.
“Exactly,” Jason says, nodding.
“And the embeddingof that image ruins the data structure in some way??”
“Yes, you got it!”
“I don’t get it.” Jupe says.
“Can you figure out what the message is in this case?” Minnie asks.
“I will try. I also have software for decrypting some steganography encryptions. I don’t know if it will work on this one.”
“Will it take long to find out if you can crack it or not?” Minnie asks.
“I don’t know. I’ll start it working and maybe we’ll get lucky.”
“How can the computer tell if a change was made but not know the system used to encrypt the message?” Gonzo asks.
“Image files, such as jpg, have a very systematic formatting. It’s easy to check it if changes were made to alter the formatting. It is not so easy to remove the changes.”
“Cool,” Gonzo says, satisfied he understands the basics now.
“I’m hungry. I’m going to lunch,” Minnie says.
“I’ll go with you,” Gonzo says.
“I’ll stay with Jason and look at this more.”
Minnie kisses Jupe on the cheek. Gonzo nods to Jupe. They wave to Jason and leave.
Jupe and Jason stare at the computer screen, which shows a little progress on the progress bar. Jupe twiddles his thumbs. Jason goes to get a candy bar from the vending machines. Jupe gets up and finds a crossword puzzle on a desk. He looks at for awhile, then tosses it aside. Jason goes to get a bag of chips and a coke form the machines. Jupe searches through desk drawers.
“What are you looking for?” Jason asks.
Jupe slams the draw shut.
“No porn? Jeez!”
The computer’s progress bar is at 100’% and it makes a soft “ding” sound. A pop-up menus says
Put that cocktail down! Your cipher is solved!
“Jupe! Check this out!”
Jupe runs over and grabs the mouse from Jason.
“I got this.”
He clicks the “Okay” button and the cipher pops up in a new window:
Beltway to Reisterstown Road West 10 miles Cherry Hill Storage Unit 1729
“Why is the name ‘Cherry Hill Storage’ so familiar?” Jason asks.
“Cherry Hill Storage is one of Captain Kidd’s properties.”
Jason nods and smacks his head. “Want to go check it out?”
“You read my mind. Grab the evidence key. I’ll print out this message,” Jupe says.
Jupe dashes off a quick note to Minnie and tapes it to the monitor. They take the printout and the key and they leave.
The treasure
Jason and Jupe are in Jason’s car, driving on Reisterstown Road, outside the Baltimore beltway, heading west. Jason is driving while Jupe is looking at the GPS app on his cell-phone.
“I’d forgotten Kidd owned Cherry Hill Storage,” Jason says.
“He’s had that place for some time, has’t he?” Jupe asks.
“Must’ve been ten years.”
“Ten? Really?”
“I think it’s ten years, this year.”
“Ten year anniversary. That’s a big deal.”
“Not really.”
“I mean, to my wife it is,” Jupe says.
‘Are we taking about Kidd or not?’’
“Never mind, I think I just figured something out.”
Jason shrugs.
“Turn into here.”
“That’s a jewelry store,” Jason says, but he turns off of Reisterstown Rd into a parking lot and stops the car.
“I’ll just be a minute,” Jupe says, jumping out of the car and dashing in the store.
Jason checks his cellphone for messages. He reads one from the Sarge that says
If you get stuck on the cipher, give it to NSA to work on.
Jupe runs out of the store with a gift bag and jumps back in the car.
“Ready?” Jason asks.
“Let’s go.”
Jason pulls back onto Reisterstown Rd and drives a few miles.
“Turn into here.”
Jason pulls off Reisterstown into a large parking lot in front of a large box-shaped corrugated steel building. He stops in a parking space and turns off the engine. They see a sign saying
Cherry Hill Storage Facility
They get out of the car, noticing the numerous security cameras.
“I’m going to go see if someone can answer some questions about 1729,” Jason says.
“Good plan.”
Jason heads to the glass front doors and enters, followed by Jupe .
Inside the warehouse storage facility foyer, it looks deserted. They notice more security cameras.
Noticing a door in a back of the room, Jason says “This way.”
They head down a hallway leading to a door. Jason grabs his service revolver and checks the safety. Jupe does the same, as he slides next to the door.
“Ready?” Jupe whispers.
Jason nods. Jupe cracks open the door and peeks inside. Seeing no one, they enter.
Hallways to the left, right and forward, with numbered doors on each side. Ahead they see 0100, 0101, ... . More security cameras.
Jason taps Jupe on the shoulder and points to the right hallway. Jupe nods and that is the way they go.
The next hallway has doors 0200, 0201, ... .
Jupe points to a sign “Stairs.” Jason nods and they jog over to the door. Again, they pause, open the door a crack, peek through and, seeing nothing dangerous, enter.
They run silently up the stairs and pause at the door at the top of the stairs. Jupe nods and Jason opens the door slowly. Seeing no one, they enter the second floor.
Straight ahead they see a hallway with doors 1400, 1401, ... . Jason points down the hallway to their right. They jog in that direction. Jupe holds up his hand when they get to a hallway whose doors are 1700, 1701, ... . They jog to 1729.
“Key?” Jupe whispers.
“I thought you brought the key!”
“Oh, I guess I did.”
Jason shakes his head and Jupe tries the key. It fits the lock. Jupe turns the key and the door unlocks. They enter.
They switch on lights and see a small room crammed with boxes and crates on a concrete floor with steel walls.
“Did you hear something?” Jason asks.
“No. What?”
“Voices.”
“Shut the door. I’ll call Minnie,” Jupe says. “She should know anyway.”
Jason shuts the door and jams a metal bar under the door knob to stop anyone from opening it. Jupe dials a number on his phone. Jason looks over the boxes and crates.
Jupe speaks in a low voice: “Minnie, hello! Jason and I decoded the cipher ... Oh, you saw the note I wrote you. Are you in the office? ... Okay ... We’re at the Cherry Hill Storage facility in Reisterstown. Second floor. Unit 1729. ... Yeah, Kidd owns it ... It seemed dead here when we arrived but Jason just said he thought he heard voices. ... Okay see you soon.”
Jupe hangs up and puts the phone in his pocket.
“Are they coming?”
“Yep. Minnie thought Kidd would have a big shipment of drugs in. Maybe this is it. Let’s see what’s in these.”
“We don’t have a search warrant. We aren’t supposed to be inside here.”
“We were testing the key, and, fearing for our safety we hid inside. Worried we might be breathing poisonous fumes....” Jupe ad libs.
“It smells fine!” Jason objects.
Jason puts his ear to the door and listens.
“... we opened up some boxes because ... You’re right, that sounds stupid. I haven’t worked out the story yet. Let’s open up these boxes and crates anyway. I’ll figure out something to say later,” Jupe says.
‘ Jupe , No!’’
“If you don’t, I will.”
Before Jason can stop him, Jupe takes a crowbar and pops the top off a crate. He sees drugs and cash.
“Shit!” Jason says.
They both start opening boxes and crates, finding money, drugs and weapons. Jupe steps back and calls the Sarge.
“Sarge, before you start yelling, Jason have found a stash house. We’re guessing over 10 million in cash and drugs and weapons. ... Cherry Hill Storage, in Reisterstown. Yes, sir.”
“What did he say?” Jason asks.
“Sit tight.”
There is a very loud banging on the door. A number of armed guards stand outside 1729.
“Who is in there?” one of the guards yells.
“Who is out there?” Jupe yells back.
“Security for Cherry Hill Storage. Open the door and come out.”
“If they were really security, wouldn’t they have a key?” Jason whispers to Jupe.
“They aren’t security. Those are Kidd’s men,” Jupe says quietly.
Jason text messages to Minnie on his cellphone, “Hurry.”
“Security, do you always order around your customers like that?”
“You aren’t the customer who rented this space.”
“Oh really? What makes you think that?”
“Unit 1729 was rented by Luther Kidd, Jr. He died yesterday.”
“That wasn’t reported to the police,” Jason whispers to Jupe.
“Make up something before they start shooting,” Jupe says quietly.
“Me? Why don’t you?” Jason whispers.
“Because Sarge put me in charge!”
Jupe thinks. More banging.
“I was hired by the lawyer of Luther Kidd, Sr, to do some inventory. I was given strict orders not to open the door for anyone but Mr. Kidd himself or his lawyer,” Jupe yells.
“I’ll check on that story.”
They hear the clomp of boots receding. After a minute, the sound of footsteps approaching and a very loud banging on the door.
“Your story does not check out,” the guard yells.
“How do you know? Did you ask Mr. Kidd?”
“Yes he did. This is Luther Kidd, Sr. I said my lawyers haven’t sent anyone over here. Who are you?” Kidd demanded.
“My name is Jupiter.”
“And I’m Mars, the god of War. - I think you are from the New York gang, trying to start something. Well, I’m going to start something out here. We are going to open fire if you don’t open this fucking door right now!”
“That idn’t work out as I hoped,” Jason whispered.
“He sounds upset,” Jupe agrees.
Outside, Minnie and Jason pull into the parking lot of Cherry Hill Storage.
“That’s Jason’s car. They’re here!” Gonzo says.
Minnie parks next to Jason’s car and they get out, running toward the front door to the Storage facility.
Inside 1729, Jupe yells, “Wait a minute! You got me. Don’t shoot. I’m coming out,” and jiggles the handle. “The lock is jammed. Call a locksmith!”
“The lock is not jammed. You have put something against the door. Remove that and come out or we will start shooting,” the guard yells.
“You have 5 seconds.,” Kidd warns.
Jason and Jupe hide behind large boxes and crates.
The guards carefully take aim at the lock of the door to 1729 with their guns.
Minnie and Gonzo sneak up right behind them and have weapons pointed at their heads.
“Hands up! DHS! You are all under arrest!” Gonzo yells.
Minnie bangs on the door to 1729 and says “Daddy! It’s me! Open up!”
Inside, she hears some noises of boxes being pushed and steps and a metal pole being thrown on concrete, then the door to 1729 flies open. Jupe and Jason emerge, smiling.
“Thanks, Minnie and Gonzo!” Jason says.
“My angel! Let me help with the handcuffs,” Jupe says, as he starts to cuff one of the guards.
“I’ll help too,” Jason says.
“I called in a search warrant,” Minnie says pulling out a piece of paper from her pocket.
Just then, Sarge shows up while they are frisking and cuffing the suspects, reading them their Miranda rights. He lloks in 1729 and emerges. He is smiling.
“Sarge, I think there is something deformed with your face,” Jupe says, winking at Minnie.
“Very fucking funny. You have never seen me smile. Good job. Jupe, I almost forgive you,” Sarge says.
“I have to make a phone call,” Jupe says.
“Now? It better be important,” Sarge says.
Jupe punches a number into his cell-phone. He talks as they escort the suspects outside.
“Hi Honey. Happy anniversary! ...”
In the kitchen of Juno and Jupe’s home, Juno is on the phone.
“You remembered?” she says, biting her lip.
Jupe is walking with the other agents and the suspects to the vehicles outside. Jupe pushes one of the hand-cuffed guards to make him walk faster and says on his cell-phone, “Of course I remembered - I even bought you something at the jexlery store ... ”
Juno touches her lips and asks, “What did you get me?”
Jupe laughs, “I’ll be home in a bit. - Ten years, honey -. I love you too.”
2012-12-27
making a 5 second video
It was a lot of fun and gave me the chance to work with lighting and equipment I haven't handled before. The last class was to film a "5 second video", which we could write ourself. I of course love writing so thought about several ideas. I went through old Non Sequitor comic ideas. The first 5 of the following came from Non Sequitor. The last was motivated by an ad I saw many many years ago, for a college that taught painting. It had the model at an easel painting the painters sitting in front of her.
- Deer dressed as St Peter at the gates of heaven.
Camera on Hunter with shotgun waiting to be admitted.
Camera pulls back to reveal Deer as he says to Hunter:
``Let's just call it karma.''
props: deer outfit, white robe, hunting rifle, hunters jacket,
pedital with white and gold cloth draped over it.
- Doctor in an office holding an x-ray, patient in gown on examining room table. Doctor says to patient: "You have a severe blockage of your credit rating."
props: x-ray, patient's gown, doctors lab coat, doctors stethescope, examining table
- A panel of people at a table marked "Reality Show Casting", with piles of papers in front of each panelist, marked "Psychos", "Bigots," etc. One panelist reads out loud an application from a normal person (eg, "I work at the family business and like to play scrabble and sing in the church choir ...") and his horrified.
props: table, signs, lots of papers and manilla folders
- Camera shots CU of Dog is lying down on a couch in a psychiatrists office: "bark, yap, bark, yap, ..." Camera pulls back to reveal that the psychiatrist is a Cat.
props: coach, chair, office furniture, dog outfit, cat outfit
- Crowd in art gallery staring and taking about a painting: "I like the artists' use of color." "Reminds me or Picasso." etc. Young Nerd says ``I wonder what software they used for the brush strokes?''
props: art museum, young nerdy looking actor, crowd of extras
- Have scene of actors performing a scene in Romeo and Juliet.
Juliet: "Romeo, oh Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?"
The person handling Camera A is zooming in and out saying "Zoom" under his breath.
Director (standing next to Camera A): Camera A. CAMERA A!
Camera A: Who? Me? What?
Director: Let's try a medium shot on this one, instead of a zoom. Does everyone agree?
All: Yes!
This is caught by Camera B, which shoots the entire scene, cast and crew.
props: cameras and lighting gear, actors, extras
Jeffrey selected the last one and allowed me to be director. Although I had no idea what I was doing, and Jeffrey had to help out a lot, this was tremendous fun. Here it is (edited by Jeffrey):
Workshop Skit from Jeffrey L. Gangwisch on Vimeo.
2012-08-25
Kevin Kangas, a Maryland filmmaker, III
For Part II of this interview, go here.
Question: Can you share some of your thoughts on scripts and the writing process for your movies?
Kevin: There is no easy way to becoming a good writer besides writing a lot, and over a long period of time. That is the thing a lot of people are not understanding. I have friends, so I feel bad for them, who ask me if I will look at their script. It’s not even spell-checked! I think to myself, “Can’t you at least make sure every sentence has a period at the end?” Those are signs of shoddy writing.
When I was a script reader, I would see submissions like that. When I got one of those to read, I want to say to them “You’ve gotten a script to an agency, you have already beaten the odds by actually getting your script to an agency. But there are spelling errors so bad that I really don’t want to read any further.” My rule of thumb was if you (the writer) don’t make me want to read past page 10, I will probably stop.
I got that job through a friend. I’d read some of his scripts and he knew an agency that was looking for readers. I’d seen some examples of “coverage,” so I could do it. They paid 75 dollars a script, so I said okay. Basically, coverage is a specially formatted script report you mail back to the agents. It is 2 or 3 pages, with a paragraph for the script summary, a three-part
recommend script recommend writer recommend both
option on top that you have to circle. For example, if you circle “recommend writer” then you are suggesting that the agents ask the writer for another script but to pass on this one. You liked the writing but not the script itself. Lastly, there is a section with your thoughts on whether the script works or not. In this part, you analyze the strengths and weaknesses of the script.
How long it took me to read a script depended on how bad and how long it was. Some scripts arrived that were just a thick block of paper. If they are poorly written it can be very slow going. Some were written by people who had no idea how to write a paragraph, and with no dialog, like it was a book. And I had to summarize it! That’s why I would sometimes get to page 10 and then just skim the rest. I am a pretty good speed-reader, though I don’t know where that talent came from, and I would just speed-read the rest if the first 10 pages wasn’t good. Then I’d write a rough summary, which the agents probably wouldn’t read anyway. Towards the time when I knew I’d be quitting soon, I would sometimes submit only a 1 page coverage. I’d say “This is atrocious and not professionally written. I only read 10 pages, but I can tell you right now, pass, pass, pass!” I wondered if they would still give me my 75 bucks, but they did.
In the two and a half years I did that job, where I read 1-4 scripts a week, I only saw 2 good scripts. I wish I still had them! I’d like to re-read them. I had to stop because I was gearing up to shoot Hunting Humans.
Question: Is Red Fish Blue Fish your next movie?
Kevin: Red Fish Blue Fish is not my next movie. I wrote the script for Tom Proctor. It is in pre-production. It is supposed to be shot in Cambodia but filming hasn’t begun [ed. note: as of 2011] and I think they are still trying to raise more money. It is possible it will never get shot.
My next movie is another project with Luke Theriault, my co-writer on Garden of Hedon, but we’re not releasing any more information on that. I’ve known Luke for years and years. He was actually the script supervisor for Fear of Clowns, 2. I first met him after Fear of Clowns, 1. I’d read some stuff he wrote. He’s a pretty good writer and a very, very good idea man. I can pass him a draft of a script and he will come up with good suggestions. “Have you thought about this?” or “What about that?” - things that go off in another direction I hadn’t thought of. He was the first person to read the script for Bounty and he gave me back notes. He suggested we write something together. I told him I was thinking of doing something “webisodic”, a series of five minute episodes published on the web, where something suspenseful had to happen each five minutes. It would be short enough so lots of people would watch but suspenseful enough that people would want to see the next episode, when that was posted. That led to Garden of Hedon. But right now, we are still breaking the story, we don’t know exactly what the story-line for the next movie will be. That’s why we don’t talk about it.
The Garden of Hedon might not be released as a “webisode”. The funder is a rich guy who is not that concerned about making his money back. He just wants to get his name as a producer on it, to gain some exposure. How Garden of Hedon is distributed depends on how Bounty does on VOD. If Bounty makes decent money on VOD, then we will probably distribute Garden of Hedon the same way. The problem is that I do not get paid to write, direct, edit, and the 9000 other things that it takes to make a money. It’s probably about 2 years, start to finish, to do a movie, but writing and editing are the longest pieces of the process. I don’t get paid for any of that stuff, and I need to start getting paid! The producer on Garden of Hedon told me “Look, I don’t need the money. If you can make money, take it as salary and start paying yourself.”
For the next movie, we have an investor who is willing to put up more money that I have ever spent on a movie before. It’s not great money, but it will enable me to cast some B-list actors. You’ll actually say, “I recognize that person! I can’t remember their name but I saw them in some movie!” That’s where we’re trying to go now.
Question: What comes after hiring the main cast and the director of photography?
Kevin: After hiring the actors and DP, you want to hire a good sound engineer if you can afford it. I’d love a first assistant director but I’ve never actually had the money to afford one. That’s someone who kind of controls the set, makes sure that you’re on time, and so on. My production manager Robert Ziegler is my right-hand man and does a lot of that for me. The production manager deals with the extras, making sure they will show up, and deals with any problems the actors have. There are always problems that arise when dealing with needy actors and there are a lot of needy actors out there! The property manager is typically me. I own the fake guns and real guns and will typically bring those myself. Sometimes I put the actors in charge of their props. A special effects guy might bring his own props, like a head cast or something.
Question: Do you have a preference of film vs digital?
Kevin: I don’t think I’ll ever shoot film again unless I had the opportunity to shot in 35mm. If I could do that, I would definitely shoot film. I remember in Hunting Humans, where we shot 28000 feet of film, I had nightmares that all the money I had was in that film. It remained undeveloped and unseen and I was worried that maybe the DP screwed up and all the film was black. Or maybe there was a camera glitch and there was a scratch through the all the reels, ruining the entire film. It is a lot of panic not knowing. Halfway through Hunting Humans we did get two reels hastily transferred by RGB Video. That cost I think about 200 dollars for the transfer. It looked really good and the crew got re-energized. Even I, as director, the guy who has to exude confidence, was having second thoughts wondering “Am I doing this right?” and then I saw the transfer and though “Yeah, I kind of know what I’m doing!”
Rick was definitely getting down during the shoot of Hunting Humans. He was in the middle of a divorce. The Making Of special feature for that film was really good since there was so much stuff he was going through. That reminds me, the Making Of also has footage of when the power went out in the location we were filming. The transformer blew, so we had to stop shooting. We were shooting at Rick Ganz’ parents house, and they were not there. Rick and I thought, “Cool, they knew were were shooting, so they left to get out of our way.” It turns out, the reason they weren’t there was that Rick’s Dad had a heart attack that day and was in the hospital! After the power came back on and we had just started getting back into shooting, they came back. His Mom said, your Dad had a heart attack, he’s okay, but you need to stop shooting here and get out. So that scene was shot in 2 places. I had to try to make a match between the two locations. So we ended up going to Rick’s old apartment, that he had been kicked out of by his (soon to be ex-) wife, to shoot more scenes. Right in the middle of that shooting, his wife comes home and pitches a fit! “What are you doing here!?” she yells. That was Day 1 of the shoot of Hunting Humans. I was thinking “It’s not going to get any better, is it?” Yeah, Hunting Humans was a bit of a nightmare to make.
You just have to keep going. As a film-maker, you will have huge downs. Huge downs, where nothing is going right. In those times, you just have to trust the shooting script is sound, and you just have to try to get it done. Ignore what you think is going on and shoot. In the scene of Fear of Clowns, 1 when Shivers comes up the stairs and tries to punch that door lock to get in the theater. The door lock won’t work. At the time, Mark Lassise (who played the role of Shivers) had his contacts in for 13 hours. He was only supposed to have them in for 6 hours. He’s rubbing his eyes all the time and I’m thinking this is going “This is going to be terrible.” In the editing room, I could see that those scenes came out fine. You just need to keep going, keep following the script.
Question: Do you have any advice on doing sound for an independent film?
Kevin: Every movie has been different for me, but sound is one of the biggest problems in low-budget film-making. For Hunting Humans, I was the sound engineer. While directing, I had to run over to a DAT recorder, since you can’t record to 16 mm film, and listen to every take over headphones. For Fear of Clowns, 1 we actually had professional audio people, a couple of buddies of mine who had a sound studio helped us out, and they were pretty good. In general, it is really hard to afford good sound engineers because they are expensive. They are worth it but a low-budget film-maker just can’t afford it. For Fear of Clowns, 2 I had some younger college guys, who sort of knew what they were doing but were not familiar with my equipment. I had a hard drive sound recorder, a Fostex mixer which cost me about 1000 dollars. There weren’t familiar with that so some of the sound they got was not great. In addition, the recorded over one entire take, since they didn’t know how the right procedure for saving to the hard drive. They thought that saving a file appended the new sound to the sound already saved on that file. Instead it replaced the sound already recorded to that file by the new sound. So, we had to loop that entire take. That was not fun.
The great thing about Bounty was we strapped really good Sennheiser shotgun mics to all the cameras and, with a few exceptions, the sound from those mics came out exactly as I wanted. The only exception was that the wind noise when they were all on the roof of the building in Baltimore was too harsh and required looping.
Question: Where were your apartment complex scenes in Bounty shot?
Kevin: Some of the Bounty scenes were shot in the apartment complex at Furnace Branch Road and Crane Highway. Some of the apartment complexes we wanted to film in were a little scary. As I was driving around one of them, everyone was checking me out like “You are not one of us,” as in the Body Snatchers movie! I told Tom Proctor, “This could be dangerous, they really could be wanted, they may think you are Immigration or something. What are you going to do if someone opens a door and points a shotgun at you?” Tom looked at me and said, “I’m going to own me a new shotgun!” I’m thinking “Oh man, that guy’s bad!” He is a cool dude.
The first time Tom and I went to Baltimore to check out locations, I put him in bounty-hunter gear. The gun, the badge, the vest. I thought, “I’ll shoot some B-roll, get used to this Red camera a little more, and I’ll show him some of the locations.” It was a scary area and we wanted to see in daylight some of the locations where the scenes would be shot. We’re driving around, and we get stopped by the police. Tom did a right-turn on red where he wasn’t supposed to. The cop comes up to the car and looks at Tom and says, “Oh, who are you guys looking for?” He thinks we’re real! This happened for everyone we met. They thought I was shooting a documentary on bounty hunters. I tell the cop, “No, we’re not really after anyone right now, I’m just following him around shooting some B-roll footage for this documentary I’m doing.” Okay, let me see your license. He checks out Tom’s license, comes back, and says, “Go down this road a few blocks and turn right. That’s a real dangerous area, and you might find several people you can actually take in right now.” We get out the car near the area we’ll be shooting at and start walking around. Someone had actually been killed around there a few weeks before and there are blue-light cameras everywhere. I’m in my own world, telling Tom “We’ll do this, then this is going to happen, then there will be a car chase down there.” Tom says “Get behind me, man,” and he picks up a coat hanger from the street and starts bending and twisting it behind his back. There are these two guys walking towards us. But then the cross the street and Tom says “Looked like they were casing us.” A cool guy! We wanted Tom for the Garden of Hedon, but he was doing another film. We’re hoping to have him back in the next one. One of the best guys I’ve ever met.
Question: Do you have any advice on directing actors?
Kevin: I’ve gotten much better at directing actors over the years but that is really not something you learn in college. At first, you might think that directing is picking the camera angles and how the camera will track the action, stuff like that. The Hitchcock “Actors are to be treated like cattle”-kind of attitude. I used to think that actors would somehow know what I was thinking they should be doing. They don’t necessarily know what is going on in my mind. Especially for my first movie, where there was no rehearsal. I would just block the scene on the day of the shot and then we would shoot the scene. They might have a totally different idea of how the scene works than you do. In Fear of Clowns, 1 we had a table reading with the main actors, but no blocking. At least I could see if the actors’ reading of the lines matched how I thought of the character. You never want to have to fix a big misconception on set, when you can work out those issues in rehearsal. In Bounty we housed the actors in the same house and had a full read-through of the script. The actors liked getting to know each other and that helped them grow into the close-knit unit they were supposed to portray in the film. In the Garden of Hedon we actually had three table reads, since it was hard to get all the actors together at the same time. The more times the actors read through it, the better I am able to see which lines just don’t read well. For example, there might be too many “s”’s in a line and it needs to be rewritten to make it flow better for the actor. Sometimes it’s okay for an actor to ad-lib a line, but sometimes not - when the rhythm of the script is more important. For example, one character says “I didn’t want to hurt anyone?” and the other character says sarcastically “You didn’t want to hurt anyone?” Saying instead, “You didn’t want to hurt anybody?” just doesn’t flow right. The rhythm to the speech is ruined. Mostly, you want to iron out ad-libs and tweaking of lines in the read-through. I do not like ad-libbing at all. It wastes time.
Question: What is ADR and what is Foley?
Kevin: DR stands for “automatic dialog replacement” but there is nothing automatic about it for me. I don’t have one of the expensive ma- chines used in Hollywood studios, which will automatically replace dialog. When I do ADR with an actor, I have to get them to do the line over and over again until it sounds right. For me, technically, ADR and looping are the same thing. It is amazingly time-consuming, especially if you are working with an actor who is not good at it. Some are good, some are not. Johnny Alonso, a local actor who played Shorty in Bounty and Ralph the orderly in Fear of Clowns, 2, is good. He was right on and finished all his looping in 20 minutes. But he is very experienced, and has acted in lots of TV series and movies. Others come in and get too involved with watching themselves and waiting for the moment where they have to repeat their line. I have to tell them “Don’t pay too much attention to watching yourself, just get back into your character and re-act the scene.” That’s looping.
Foley is recording sound effects after the fact, to add into the sound track. Distributors want an M&E track, “mix and effects,” separate from the dialog track. This helps them sell to foreign markets, who can then dub the dialog in their own language more realistically. Making an M&E track is a mammoth pain in the ass. For my films, Foley is done entirely by me. I have to ask if it is worth it to spend all the time adding an effects track. I did that for Fear of Clowns, I. I brought three sets of boots to my parents basement and recorded different walks and steps and falls. Then those audio files have to be edited and suitably renamed - footsteps-fast.wav, body-falling.wav, or whatever. Incredibly time-consuming and monotonous. We have that problem with Garden of Hedon right now. I need to do more Foley but it was shot at The Cloisters in Baltimore and we spent all our money. I hope they will just let us back in there to re-record some lines with some actors for free.
Question: Do you have any advice for independent filmmakers for raising production money?
Kevin: We used indiegogo.com to try to raise a “slush fund”. The film-maker can create their own gifts for various donation levels. For example, donate 5 dollars and we will give you a “Thanks” in the end credits, 10 dollars gets you a signed poster. I had a 500 dollar level which got you an executive producer credit. That’s a pretty big credit but I had only one other executive producer, the guy who was giving me the big money, and I asked him “Do you care if I do this indiegogo.com thing to raise a little extra money?” He said no, he didn’t care if I added another. The funny part is that a guy I went to elementary school with, and hadn’t talked to since elementary school, donated 500 dollars. When I saw that, I said “Hey, I recognize that guy’s name.” I used to live around the corner from that guy. When I talked to him, he said “Yeah, I saw you made movies and thought I’d throw that in there to get an executive producer credit.” Then he asked if could be an extra, so I said “Sure, we always need extras.” I told him the scenes were we needed extras. Predictably, he showed up for the strip club scene! We had a planned lunch, but didn’t know how it would be run. He asked, “Do you want me to run and buy a couple of 12 foot subs from Subway and bring them back?” So he went out and bought us all lunch! A very, very cool guy. He’s an executive producer.
If you have no track record, it is very hard to raise money. Potential funders want to know, what have you done? I had to pay for Hunting Humans but I had no track record. That’s what Hunting Humans did for me. Even if I have to lose money, it will be out there. Once it was out, I made sure it was on the shelves of every Blockbuster, Hollywood Video, Netflix, and so on. When someone asked me where can I see your money, I made sure they could rent it. That impressed some investors and led to us getting money for the next project, Fear of Clowns. So really if you get a name for yourself first, it helps investors.
Another thing to do is shoot a trailer. Take the best scenes from your script, shoot just those scenes, and put it into a trailer. You can tell potential investors, this is what I plan to do. In fact, in my shooting script for every movie, I mark the “trailer shots.” I will spend extra time on those shots, since I know the trailer has to look good. There are some scenes where, for scheduling reasons, you have to move forward even if you don’t have exactly what you want. Not for the trailer shots. You don’t move forward until you have exactly what you want. If you are good at cutting trailers together, you can get someone to bite and say “I might have a 1000-2000 dollars to shoot your way.”
Question: After the script is written, what is next?
Kevin: The idea for a script has to contain an original twist. Then you write and rewrite (as many times as needed) the script. That script must be polished and rock-solid before going any further. Next, I start writing a shooting script and a preliminary “guess-timate” budget. I use a spreadsheet to keep track of everything in the budget.
In addition to the shooting script, I might have some storyboards for more complicated scenes - action, or scenes with many characters and lots of dialog. On the set, things get so confusing with many people asking me questions on the set that sometimes I can’t remember things you’d think would be easy. For example, eye-lines, for continuity between cuts, can be very complicated, and storyboards help you remember if a character is supposed to be frame left or frame right. You might also make a last minute change in the shooting script but not the original script, and a storyboard would fix any confusion. For my next movie, I’ve resigned myself to doing more storyboards.
The shooting script is written right after finishing the script, with all the camera angles broken down. The shooting script is divided into sections, where all camera shots from all scenes in one location are described, with lighting setups, then camera shots for all scenes in another location are de- scribed, and so on. That way you don’t have to shoot, then break down the setup in the first location, move to another location, shoot there, and then move back to the first location. That would waste time and money. Ideally, you want to setup only once at each location. It doesn’t always work out that way, but that is the ideal.
The shooting script will be a function of what equipment (cameras, lights, and so on) you have. If you have only one camera and need to shoot dialog, you might have the actors say their lines with the camera shooting over the shoulder of one actor with a close-up of the second actor, then move the camera over the shoulder of the second actor with a close-up of the first, and have the actors repeat their lines. With two cameras, you can shoot those shots simultaneously. And, with two cameras, you don’t need to worry about continuity issues, like if the actor raised his hand in one take and not in another.
Using Movie Magic, I’ll make a shooting schedule. I’m always a little ambitious with my shooting schedule. If you ask any of my production managers, they’ll go “Wow!” We shoot a lot of 14-18 hour days. It’s grueling but you don’t have much choice if you have only 2-3 weeks to shoot.
The budget is next, but really it is a continuous process of revising the preliminary “guess-timate” budget I started earlier. After finishing the shoot- ing schedule is finished, you should have some idea of how many days it will take to shoot the film. You can even break it down as to how much each day individual day of shooting will cost.
When the script is finished, you need to put out the ads for the cast and crew. You also have to set a date for open casting calls. When I did Hunting Humans there wasn’t much of an Internet to speak of, so we used ads in Backstage magazine to look for actors. We must have gotten 1500 head-shots in the mail. There were stacks of head-shots in the PO Box. These days, you will mostly get photos by email.
Question: At what stage do you add music to your film?
Kevin: Music comes in after your are completely done filming and editing the movie. I’ve worked with Chad Seiter, who is a great composer and I hope to hire for the rest of my movies. He creates the music to match your edits. That’s the opposite of what you would do, if you were making a music video, where you create cuts to the music. Sometimes I lay down temp music, just to make sure my edits have some sort of rhythm going, so I know he can work with it more easily. You don’t want to have the musician score the movie and then you have to re-edit the film, and also edit their score. In Fear of Clowns, I, I made the mistake of sending Chad a longer version of the movie. While he was working on the score, I realized I had to cut the movie down by 15 minutes. he creates his music cues to line up with my edits, and so when I edit the film, it changes his score. It can irritate a musician to have his composition messed with. Chad is very easy to work with though. I have always told him “Look, if there is a place where the music cues are not working out, let me know and I’m happy to change things.” He always says, “No, I’ll just work it out.”
Question: Any advice for independent filmmakers who are thinking of submitting a film to the festival circuit?
Kevin: After winning best screenplay with the Hunting Humans script, I entered a few other film festivals. Some people say “film festivals are rigged, and it’s all who you know”. Well, I entered Hunting Humans in the Back East Picture Show, a film festival in New Jersey which was run by the producers of one of the films in the festival competition! They play my movie at the same time as a filmmaker get-together where there are free drinks. I wonder “How many people are even going to attend my movie?” But it’s the first festival I’d ever attended and so I didn’t think much of it. Then after my movie one of the producers came up to me and asked “How did you do your sound?” My sound? With a microphone, how else? Then I saw their movie and their sound was awful! I mean Hunting Humans has some rough audio in parts but overall it sounds good. Their film’s audio was so bad, I thought they really didn’t know anything. Guess what film won the festival? Theirs. Surprise! That festival never ran again. In the 2002 B-Movie Film Festival, Hunting Humans won 2 awards and was nominated for seven. Fear of Clowns, 1 won some I think, but after that film, I didn’t enter any more festivals.
Question: How does movie distribution work?
Kevin: Some distribution deals will allow for redistribution. Hunting Humans (as well as Fear of Clowns) was signed to a distribution company which re-licensed the film to others. For example, for Hunting Humans, I agreed to a 12 year distribution deal, and the distributor re-licensed the distribution to one company (MTI) for years 1-3, then another company for several years, and so on. Of course, the distribution license for the first three years paid more than the next deal, and the deal after that paid even less, and so on down the line. Bounty has a different distribution deal that my production representative handles.
Question: Why is it your DVD covers don’t have any reviews?
Kevin: The distributor is the one who makes the DVD cover. My distributor, for whatever reason, did not want any reviews on the cover. I mean the glowing Joe Bob Briggs review on the cover alone would have sold some copies. [ed. note: Joe Bob Briggs called it “. . . an extremely well-directed film”, and gave it four out of four stars.] Their response was “Well, he only appeals to the B-movie audience.” But this movie is a B-movie! That is exactly who you want to appeal to! Anybody saying something good about your movie will effect someone to buy it. But the distributors don’t think like we do and they ultimately decide how to market it.
On the whole, I have nothing bad to say about MTI. They were very nice to me. You can actually call up MTI and talk to their vice-president and chat on the phone. He gave me numbers, sales numbers, which a lot of distributors would not. MTI does everything above-board. They sold over 37000 copies of Hunting Humans, which is a lot for a low-budget horror film.
Question: Any general advice for anyone interested in pursuing filmmaking?
Kevin: Equipment is so easy to get these days. Good equipment is becoming more affordable. The problem is that people don’t spend any time learning the craft. Some would-be filmmakers think that there isn’t any talent to writing. In reality, there is no quick-and-easy writing machine you can buy, like you can with a quick-and-easy camera.
I'd like to thank Kevin Kangas for generously making his time available for the making of this interview!