The story below was inspired by the story of King Balak and Balaam in the Book of Numbers.
In the large, modern, glass and steel building which headquarters “White Industrials”, two men meet in a conference room with a beautiful view. It’s got a long wooden table, surrounded by expensive, plushy office chairs, and a coffee maker in the corner. They sit in two chairs near the window.
Tom Black, also in a suit and tie, takes his card, stuffs it in his pocket. “Yes, I am. Call me Tom. Nice to meet you.” They shake hands. Mr Black indicates a chair. “Please, have a seat.”
“Well, you called me. How can I help you, Mr Black?”
“As you know, our main competitor is ‘Blue Industrials’. To be perfectly frank, business is suffering. We don’t just want to beat them but to recover market share, we need to drive them to ruin. Do you get my drift?”
“I take it you don’t like the people at ‘Blue Industrials’ and you want my firm to help you.”
“Precisely. Damn the folks at ‘Blue Industrials’ to hell is what I say,” Black said, gnashing his teeth. “Maybe you can plant a spy in their midst, or insert defective parts into one of their factories? You're the expert, you tell me.”
“I’ll consult the lead partner, Mr Howe. We’ll have an answer for you tomorrow.”
“Sounds good. Anything I should do in the meanwhile?”
“I recommend donating a million dollars worth of your Deluxe Gizmos to charity. I will do wonders for your public perception.”
“Wow, that’s a lot of money. And the Deluxe Gizmo is our top of the line product.”
“The better to increase your impact. Also, no one will suspect you if they know how generous you are.”
“Makes sense. Okay, will do.”
“And, of course, pray.”
“Isn’t that why I hire you?” Mr Black said with a snotty tone.
The next day they meet again in the offices of White Industrials.
“Good morning, Mr Black. My lead partner Mr Howe did not recommend planting a spy in their midst, nor did he recommend we insert defective parts in one of their factories.”
“That’s sad to here.”
“Yes, but he's the boss. Which charity did you contribute your million dollars to?”
“Corporation for Lying to the Media,” says Black.
“That’s a 503(c)?”
“Oh, yes. Lying is perfectly legal.”
“Odd choice. I would have gone with the Diabetes Foundation if I were you.”
“Why is that?” Mr Black asks.
“It's an important issue. Mr Howe's youngest daughter has diabetes. They are very close.”
“I see. Would you recommend donating a million dollars worth of Deluxe Gizmos to the Diabetes Foundation?”
“Yes I do. And I’ll go back to Mr Howe and see what he says about your idea to wipe your enemy off the face of the planet. We’ll have an answer for you tomorrow. Sound good?”
“Sounds great. See you tomorrow.”
“And, of course, pray.”
“That’s why I hire you,” Mr Black snapped.
The next day, they meet yet again.
“Good morning, Mr Black. I’m sorry to say that my lead partner Mr Howe, again, did not recommend planting a spy in their midst, nor did he recommend we plant defective parts in one of their factories.”
“That’s very disappointing news to hear. We spend two million dollars already, and for nothing. Is there anything we can do to turn this around?”
“This good news is that the diabetes of Mr Howe’s youngest child is doing better.”
“Good for her, but what about me?”
“But Mr Howe's wife has just been diagnosed with breast cancer.”
“Let me guess: you’d recommend donating a million dollars worth of Deluxe Gizmos to the Breast Cancer Research Foundation?”
“You guessed it! And I’ll go back to Mr Howe and see what he says about your idea to destroy Blue Industrials. We’ll have an answer for you tomorrow. Sound good?”
“Okay. See you tomorrow and the news had better be good.”
“And, of course, pray.”
“That's what you're hired for,” Mr Black snorted.
The next day, they meet yet again. This time, there are only folding chairs in the conference room of White Industrials. The coffee maker is boxed up.
“Mr Black, what happened?”
“On the news of three million dollars in losses, thanks to you, our stock price dropped. Blue Industrials bought the majority share in our company. Today is my last day.”
“I’m not surprised. The fact is, Blue Industrials hired my partner Mr Howe as a business consultant. He just advised them to pray.”
“Well, what do you have to say about that?”
“Of course, I'm going to tell you to --”
"Oh, shut up."
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