Based on an old story of Anton Chekhov
An elderly government physician Bevers, who had entered the civil service even before WWIII, and XKV, his emotibot who had taken a melancholy turn, were on their way to an autopsy. They were cruising at low altitude along an indirect but scenic route. The winter night was dark and the snow was gently swirling down.
"It's vile, this planet!" Bevers said. "There's no civilization, `bots everywhere you turn, and nothing but fowl weather! To think that this is a United Worlds territory. The snow ... the snow! As though it were being paid to pour on us. Go faster XKV or I'll scrap you for parts, you giant tin can!"
A `bot craft flashed by them going in the opposite direction. XKV beeped at them in a friendly way.
"Although I am programmed to mimic emotions, I do not feel this weather as you do. However, I do feel a sense of dread, as though we or someone close to us may die at any
time," the `bot said.
"You ought to be feeling ashamed, talking like an old woman as you do. Program yourself to drive faster get us out of this weather. I cannot go on with this snow. It's the worst! We must stop and rest up. Who lives on this rock that I know?"
"Searching data-banks ... connecting ... please wait ... searching ... Martin Bell."
"Martin, that old bastard! I haven't visited him in a long time. Head for Bell's place."
"Recomputing trajectory ... "
They banked and then flew over frozen ice-covered hills and thick monsterous forests and deep raging rivers.
They landed in a large courtyard of Judge Bell's estate. The light posts turned on automatically as their craft set down.
"He's in!" Bevers said, seeing the lights from Bell's snow-covered light posts.
On landing, Bevers climbed down to the snow-covered ground and looked at the lit windows of the house of Martin Bell, judge of the district court of the Interplanetary Judicial System.
"This is a change for the better. We'll get some good hot food, you can run a circuit diagnostic while you recharge and I can get a decent night's sleep. Bell's a worthless fellow but friendly enough, you have to give him that. Don't record that."
"Deleting ... "
They walked up to the entrance and XKV emitted some beeps. The doorway lit up and beeped back. In a moment, it opened and Bell himself greeted them. He was a thin, old man with deep wrinkles on his face, a short white beard and a balding head.
"I was expecting you, Lee. Come in! You've come at the right moment, as we are just starting dinner. We're having fennebian steak, imported from Ancius-Alcyone. We have the assistant district councillor here. He has come out to fetch me, for we have to be in court tomorrow," Bell said. "The docket has been full for the past month."
Bevers and XKV entered the huge entrance hall. There were marble floors and balconies on either side.
Off of one opening was a large dining hall. A large table was set with appetized and wines and ales. The manor was also occupied by the judge's daughter Madeline, who was in mourning for her husband, who died in a airbot crash recently. She wore a dark dress and had tired eyes. Next to her sat the assistant district councillor, Louston, a young man from Alderan-Taygeta with blue whiskers and thick viens in his neck.
"Maddie, are you acquinted with my old friend Dr. Bevers? Bevers, this is my daughter and this is Councillor Louston."
The young woman managed a smile, but her eyes did not. She extended her hand to Bevers.
"As you are freshly arrived," Bell said, pouring two drinks for Bevers, "you have some catching up to do! To our health!"
They downed their glasses and Bevers attacked the steak. XKV asked to be excused to recharge batteries and run diagnostic tests on its circuitry.
Bell poured more glasses. "The glasses are waiting! Doctor! Let us drink to medicine, and the power to keep us feeling young!"
They all fell into conversation, except the Councillor. It was obvious he did not think highly of the Doctor and his robot and their autopsy duty. The Doctor sat at the piano with Madeline and tried to cheer her up by playing a simple tune.
"You are on your way to an autopsy?" she asked. "To dissect a dead body? What courage that must take. I admire men with courage. My husband was very brave, may he rest in peace. Doctor is something bothering you?"
"I don't like this weather. My emotibot XKV feels a sense a dread, as though a loved one would die."
"I am afraid of flying, even though they say the airbots are safer than ever. My husband died two weeks ago in an airbot crash. Doctor, are you married? Do you have any children?"
"I have no one. XKV is my only friend, if you can call a robot a friend."
"You are lucky to have such a nice emotibot. This dread it reports could just be a malfunction.""
While the doctor and the widow were discussing emotibots, they finished several bottles. Bell and others were involved in a multi-player game involving lots of shouting and swearing, taking a break on occasion to get more food or drink. Hours passed as seconds. Suddenly, Bell realized that time was getting late and he had to be in court the next morning.
"What am we doing? This is horrible! In only a few more hours, we must set off for the court session and we are drinking and playing games! Maddie, time to sleep! To bed everyone, I declare our party adjourned."
Madeline wished the doctor a good night. "I have trouble sleeping these nights. The wind gusts knocking against my window, and I miss my husband terribly. You are lucky that you can sleep on a night like this."
"I can give you something to help you sleep, if you like," the doctor offered.
"No, thank you doctor, I'll go read myself to sleep with a good book. If the light from a lamp on the window sill is visible under my door in the hallway, then you will know I'm still awake."
In the room assigned to the doctor and XKV, there was a large comfortable bed. While XKV reported his diagnostics, Bevers got undressed and slipped under his covers.
"The diagnostics report a circuitry problem," XKV said.
"Fixable?"
"No, a controller board must be replaced. Inventory reports there are several in supply at the home base."
"Can it wait?" Bevers said, flipping onto his back and belching loudly.
"Yes."
Bevers squirmed restlessly in his bed and said, "I can't stop thinking about the widow."
"You're drunk," XKV said.
"She told me she had trouble sleeping and would be awake if I saw her reading light on from under her door. Do you think I should go knock on her door?"
"That's a stupid idea."
"You're a robot, how would you know?"
"I know {\it because} I am a robot. You are drunk. Go to sleep."
Bevers got up and started getting dressed, swearing at XKV as he did so. XKV moved in front of the door, blocking his exit.
"What the hell do you think you are going?"
"I'm not letting you pass. You're drunk."
"By what right do you have to stop me from talking to her, you tin can?"
"If you are arrested by the judge, I will be stuck here. My priority is to return to home base for repairs. You are an old man. She is a young woman."
"Damn you, I'm not old!"
"You're 60. She's 30. Use your head."
"I'll use my fists to smash you into bits, you tin can!"
"Titanium alloy. You will break your knuckles. It's happened before. If you have forgotten, I can replay the video."
"Uhmm ... "
"3D or 2D?"
"I remember. Don't play the video. I don't want to stay here any longer. Let's go home."
They packed up quietly and slipped down the long hallway past the light under Madeline's door, and out the front door. After dusting off the snow from their craft, they took off.
"What about the autopsy?"
"Some other time. I will not feel right until we are home. Do you still have the sense of dread you reported before?"
"Following the diagnostics, I turned off all related emotional sensors. Are you still thinking of the widow?"
"Yes, but when we get home I will be fine. Can you make this go faster?"
"Lovely female shapes are terrible complicators of the difficulties and dangers of this earthly life ... "
"Are you running through your database of quotations?" Bevers interuppted.
"Yes, I thought it would make you feel better. That was George du Maurier. Shall I continue?"
"Shut up."
XKV whirred a bit and a few of the indicator lights turned off. Several days went by silently during the interplanetary flight. Bevers busied himself by reading, watching videos, and isometric exercises. When they docked at their home base, he directed XKV to go to the repair shop and get his controller card replaced.
When he returned, XKV said "My controller card has been replaced and I now pass all diagnostics. I apologize for any inconvenience my performance caused. I am under warranty and can file a claim on your behalf if you wish."
"No, thank you XKV, that won't be necessary."
"Shall I prepare for the trip to the autopsy?"
"What autopsy?"
"The one you were going to do on the snow planet when my controller card went bad."
"I completely forgot. Yes, of course."
They packed and took off again.
"I apologize too. I'm sorry I got so upset and called you a tin can."
"I was given an upgraded controller board during my repairs. My new circuitry has an improved ability to process your emotional instability."
They had a pleasant trip back to the snow planet, and were flying low over an area near Bell's estate.
"I think I see lights over there. Cruise over and let's check it out."
"Recomputing trajectory ... the ship identification system reports Bell's ship is docked in the area."
"Bell, that bastard son of an alien whore! Is that an alchoholic establishment down there?" Bevers asked.
XKV looked at the maps and projected the tavern menu on the front screen.
"I think that's the bar with the cute barmaid! Let's get a drink and see what old Bell is up to."
The travelers docked and made their way over to the tavern. Bell was inside and surprised to see them.
"Doctor! Where are you coming from? Where are you heading to this time?" Bell asked.
"We keep heading out for the same autopsy and we keep having running into problems getting there. It's a vicious circle."
"Let us drink to vicious circles!"
They drank and told stories of medicine and law and barmaids and circles.
